Page 2 | Who was in the wrong? (Insults on tram) - title edited by MNHQ at request of author.

greenandpink · 2023-02-22T11:58:24+00:00

Im neither onwe. Just curious, as I was surprised who most people defender. Person A is a middle aged man with his 8ish year old son. He walks into the tram and a couple of mins later, turns to his son and asks him who he thinks the hottest girl on the tram is. Person B is a young girl who looks in her early twenties. She intervenes and tells him that it is an inappropriate thing to say. She also starts filming him. Person A scoffs and ignores her. Person B goes on to say that he should teach his son to read, count and write rather than ask him who the hottest girl on the tram was. That he should stop with his "third world country mentality and education" (person A was of Arab/Middle Eastern descent). Person A proceeds to insult her, call her a bitch, a wh****, asking her if she wanted to see his d*** while gesturing a handjob. Telling her her don told him she was the most disgusting girl on the tram and yet the loudest. Calling her a witch, etc...

Needmorelego · 22/02/2023 12:49

Both as pathetic as each other.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 22/02/2023 12:51

Person A undoubtedly a shitbag.
Person B doing well with the intervention and phrasing of inappropriate comments, not so sure on the filming.
Person B then goes on to make things worse with racist comments about 'third world mentality'.

All sounds quite staged to me to be honest.

BumpySkull · 22/02/2023 12:53

Are you 100% sure he actually said it? There’s a bit of a TikTok/YouTube/social media trend going where you’ll start a fight over nothing and then dub over your part with calm/rational/reasonable things to say afterwards so it looks as though the other person is just an unstable maniac. Because the filmer/poster isn’t in the camera shot, you can’t see their mouth and see that the words you hear aren’t the words actually said at the time. So, in this circumstance, she’d actually heard him say something like “isn’t that person wearing a nice coat” or “that’s a very pretty hairstyle” and she then saw an opportunity to say things like “why are you objectifying women?” and “you shouldn’t be teaching your son to call women hot?” but she’ll dub that out later. She’ll also dub out her racist comment so it looks like he’s getting irate with her over nothing. DH is a Tonmeister so he can hear the difference in the audio to know it’s not in the original recording.

OP, did you actually hear him say or do this or did you just hear her accuse him of it?

BeetleyCarapace · 22/02/2023 12:54

Remember the tagline for that Alien vs Predator film in the 00s?

"WHOEVER WINS... WE ALL LOSE."

That.

SpinningFloppa · 22/02/2023 12:57

The DLR is a train btw not a tram (sorry that’s just been bugging me 🫣)

LikeSpinningPlates · 22/02/2023 12:57

BumpySkull · 22/02/2023 12:53

Are you 100% sure he actually said it? There’s a bit of a TikTok/YouTube/social media trend going where you’ll start a fight over nothing and then dub over your part with calm/rational/reasonable things to say afterwards so it looks as though the other person is just an unstable maniac. Because the filmer/poster isn’t in the camera shot, you can’t see their mouth and see that the words you hear aren’t the words actually said at the time. So, in this circumstance, she’d actually heard him say something like “isn’t that person wearing a nice coat” or “that’s a very pretty hairstyle” and she then saw an opportunity to say things like “why are you objectifying women?” and “you shouldn’t be teaching your son to call women hot?” but she’ll dub that out later. She’ll also dub out her racist comment so it looks like he’s getting irate with her over nothing. DH is a Tonmeister so he can hear the difference in the audio to know it’s not in the original recording.

OP, did you actually hear him say or do this or did you just hear her accuse him of it?

Oh wow. That changes everything. If it is the case that she set it up, I mean.

In that case very scary for the guy not to be able to use public transport without being accosted.

Original poster

greenandpink · 22/02/2023 12:57

BumpySkull · 22/02/2023 12:53

Are you 100% sure he actually said it? There’s a bit of a TikTok/YouTube/social media trend going where you’ll start a fight over nothing and then dub over your part with calm/rational/reasonable things to say afterwards so it looks as though the other person is just an unstable maniac. Because the filmer/poster isn’t in the camera shot, you can’t see their mouth and see that the words you hear aren’t the words actually said at the time. So, in this circumstance, she’d actually heard him say something like “isn’t that person wearing a nice coat” or “that’s a very pretty hairstyle” and she then saw an opportunity to say things like “why are you objectifying women?” and “you shouldn’t be teaching your son to call women hot?” but she’ll dub that out later. She’ll also dub out her racist comment so it looks like he’s getting irate with her over nothing. DH is a Tonmeister so he can hear the difference in the audio to know it’s not in the original recording.

OP, did you actually hear him say or do this or did you just hear her accuse him of it?

I hadn't thought of that!

Admittedly no I didn't hear him say that. My attention was grabbed when the girl started yelling about how he had asked his son that

OP posts:

GimmeBiscuits · 22/02/2023 13:00

cheatingcrackers · 22/02/2023 12:04

Person A behaved worse, but Person B shouldn't have used racism or any insults for that matter because her position prior to that was completely reasonable.

Yes, agree.
If she'd said simply that he was portraying outdated sexist stereotypes then she'd be 100% blame free. Bringing race/ethnicity into matters puts her at fault.

BumpySkull · 22/02/2023 13:04

greenandpink · 22/02/2023 12:57

I hadn't thought of that!

Admittedly no I didn't hear him say that. My attention was grabbed when the girl started yelling about how he had asked his son that

Show quote history

I’d hazard a guess that it didn’t happen then. Most likely she hoped to get a reaction with her initial comment and when he just brushed her off, she brought out the racism because she knew she’d get a response. In the video, she’ll change what she said to something like “I just really feel it’s important to consider the feelings of others and to be respectful” and then he’ll look completely unstable for suddenly losing his rag and yelling at her.

I vaguely recall in A Level psychology we covered how easily people can be convinced that they saw or heard something if someone else says it happens at the time. Like if someone says “stop hitting me, stop hitting me” then witnesses will say that they saw the other person hitting them (and genuinely believe it) even when CCTV shows they were never touched.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 13:07

Person a , the bloke for me. No idea how anyone can say b. Normal mysogntic crap. Good for that woman calling out shit behaviour and so sorry she had to deal with that abuse for doing so

for some people, no matter how badly a man behaves if they can blame the woman they will

it’s utterly depressing.

catfunk · 22/02/2023 13:10

Both of them. One was misogynistic and one was racist.

WindscreenWipe · 22/02/2023 13:10

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 13:07

Person a , the bloke for me. No idea how anyone can say b. Normal mysogntic crap. Good for that woman calling out shit behaviour and so sorry she had to deal with that abuse for doing so

for some people, no matter how badly a man behaves if they can blame the woman they will

it’s utterly depressing.

She was racist to a child who did nothing wrong. Keep reading that until you manage to figure out why people think she was out of order 🙄

Bamboux · 22/02/2023 13:10

SpinningFloppa · 22/02/2023 12:57

The DLR is a train btw not a tram (sorry that’s just been bugging me 🫣)

Yes, Docklands Light Railway, the clue is in the name. Unless this is a different DLR not in London.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 13:11

Courtorder · 22/02/2023 12:15

Person B is in the wrong. Person A did something wrong but not exceptionally so and, whether we agree with the topic of discussion or not, it’s none of her business to step in or tell him how to parent. Person B then responded with racist and bigoted vitriol for absolutely no reason and to no one’s benefit.

Really? You don’t feel that calling a woman a bitch, asking her if she wanted to see his dick, making hand job gestures, saying she was disgusting looking is exceptionally wrong?

fuck me.

Courtorder · 22/02/2023 13:13

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 13:11

Really? You don’t feel that calling a woman a bitch, asking her if she wanted to see his dick, making hand job gestures, saying she was disgusting looking is exceptionally wrong?

fuck me.

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If someone were racist to my child (who happens to be white) then I’d call them a bitch too.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 13:14

Courtorder · 22/02/2023 13:13

If someone were racist to my child (who happens to be white) then I’d call them a bitch too.

Show quote history

Sure but would you also ask if they wanted to see your dick, make hand hob gestures and the like?

because he didn’t just call her a bitch and stop There. Did he?

FloydPepper · 22/02/2023 13:15

I agree it looks contrived to make a video

if not, then it’s misogynist vs racist. Both awful people.

SpinningFloppa · 22/02/2023 13:20

Bamboux · 22/02/2023 13:10

Yes, Docklands Light Railway, the clue is in the name. Unless this is a different DLR not in London.

Show quote history

My 10 year old is a train enthusiast he will be furious at it being referred to as a tram 😅

Original poster

greenandpink · 22/02/2023 13:21

SpinningFloppa · 22/02/2023 13:20

My 10 year old is a train enthusiast he will be furious at it being referred to as a tram 😅

Show quote history

My bad 😆

OP posts:

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/02/2023 13:29

Man A is a misogynistic prick.

I also assume that he did insult the woman because as the OP says

"An older lady told the dad to stop insulting the girl and when it escalated other people then joined in to try and stop the fight"

Giggorata · 22/02/2023 13:32

Person A is a LOT wronger, in my view.

Original poster

greenandpink · 22/02/2023 13:46

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/02/2023 13:29

Man A is a misogynistic prick.

I also assume that he did insult the woman because as the OP says

"An older lady told the dad to stop insulting the girl and when it escalated other people then joined in to try and stop the fight"

No he didn't insult her. The lady said "stop insulting the young lady" to which he replied something along the line of "you call that a young lady? That's a witch."

OP posts:

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/02/2023 13:52

No he didn't insult her. The lady said "stop insulting the young lady" to which he replied something along the line of "you call that a young lady? That's a witch."

Eh? So why did she say "stop insulting the young lady"? What did she hear?

OriginalUsername2 · 22/02/2023 13:52

MoneyInTheBananaStand · 22/02/2023 12:33

Person B was proved totally correct in her assessment of his "third world mentality" wasn't she

I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to say what she said but I would certainly be thinking it

Same here. Though I don’t think it was a sensible thing to do for her own safety.

bringincrazyback · 22/02/2023 13:53

They both sound as bad as each other. Ugh.