I very much dislike DPs family. It started off all fine and nice, with the exception of 1 sibling who took a dislike to me. Turns out this is because I have DC and she thinks i'm some sort of gold digger. I'm not, I work full time, have my own money and earn the same as DP, but there you go.
We have been together about 5 years for context and are engaged.
I thought I got on fine with his other siblings and his mother but I recently dared to disagree with his mother over something and its all gone downhill from there. I overheard a conversation his mother had with someone else, she was unaware I could hear her, and to put it mildly I never want to see the woman again. She has always been overbearing and very opinionated anyway, she has very narcissistic qualities. But as these were never previously aimed at me and I didn't see her that much I just let her crack on and kept out of everything.
His other siblings now refuse to talk to me and have been telling DP he has to choose between his 'family' and me as its upset his mother. Its pathetic.
Every year, we have incorporated them all into christmas. Its always been a juggle as I have DC so need to factor in them seeing their father, all of us seeing my parents and siblings and also DPs mother and siblings and also the dc's fathers family though he sorts that ,we just have to obviously agree dates and everything. A few live a good few hours drive, so thats why its always a juggling act to fit it all in.
Each year we have been together this has all been sorted and agreed together, when we are free to visit or have a vist from x y and z. Each year at least 2 of DP's family will cause a problem last minute and seem to have no idea it throws everything else out of whack. For instance one year one of them wanted to visit us, all arranged, lunch prepared and they arrived 3 hours later because they decided to stop on the way for a breakfast and then looked around a garden centre. And then they got annoyed when we said we had to go out 3 hours after they eventually arrived. Its that sort of thing, just thoughtlessness as opposed to any major crisis that arose unexpectedly. One year the excuse was literally, we couldn't be bothered to get up so early.
So this year, given the fact I know exactly what his 'D'M thinks of me and that his siblings don't give a toss anyway AIBU to just plan mine and the dc's xmas around my family (and their dads) and just say to DP, this is whats happening, if you want to see any of yours you can fit it in around MY schedule, and none of them can come here you'll have to go to them, because I honestly have washed my hands of them.
So I will decide what time dinner will be done for, for example, and if that does not fit in with when his mother can see him xmas day, thats just tough and he can sort it out, I no longer care.
I realise this makes it awkward for DP, but I really am just past it all and don't see why I should incorporate them when they always mess it up in some way and seem to hate me anyway. I may even tell DP he is not to put my name on any of his familys presents this year, as I really really do not want any of them in my life anymore quite frankly.