Anniversary of My daughters Birthday/ Stillbirth

That was not an entirely sensitive post

YANBU, @Lilbow . I’m sorry for your loss.

Oh Sweetheart I'm so sorry for your heart breaking loss. I hope your beautiful little Angel had a wonderful Birthday in heaven. Xxx

I think you have to say something. It'll eat away at you if you don't and come out in rage.

It clearly say yesterday was the anniversary

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sadly most people in the world are pretty self involved, unfortunately they just don't see this as a major issue for them after two years. I'm so sorry.

This is a terrible, terrible thing to have happened to you. I know where you’re coming from but I don’t think bereavement anniversaries are always remembered. Some people set great store be them and that helps them remember their loved one and others remember in their own way. I honestly would try not to take it to heart. It doesn’t mean they don’t care or they’ve forgotten about your baby.

I read thatcywuce too. Sorry! I misunderstood

I'm very sorry, @Lilbow what a tragic thing to happen to you.
I think you could maybe say to your sisters that your partner got lots of messages and you were distressed and disappointed that your own family didn't get in touch.
You must be feeling very upset about it.

I'm so sorry for your loss@Lilbow. There are no excuses for your family, I just hope they support you at all other times.

Try and take comfort that your DHs family is thinking of you and your beautiful daughter and that they remember her x

Im so sorry for your loss.

The only thing I would say is that there was a post on here a while ago from someone whose relative had had a stillbirth and she was asking what she could do. And a couple of replies from people who had experienced it themselves said that they actually really didn't like getting messages from family on the anniversary. So I suppose, if your family are normally supportive, maybe they've read something similar and therefore decide to give you space?

Ignore the first insensitive reply, your post was very clear in that yesterday was the anniversary of your daughter's birth. You are not wrong to hope your family at the very least would acknowledge the day, I would say something, it will eat away at you if you don't. I am so sorry for your loss and that your siblings were so insensitive, people expect you to "move on" but moving on, IS acknowledging the day and marking it.

Sorry for the loss of your baby girl. My niece was also stillborn at full term - it is devastating & anyone with any sensitivity would know her birthday anniversary is a hugely difficult time & send support. If your family are not usually thoughtless I would explain to them you are hurt they didn't reach out & that the day is understandably both hugely important to you & difficult. I hope you managed to find some peace and had a gentle day. Happy Birthday to your darling girl.

Some people would want to mark the occasion, but others wouldn't. It can be difficult for friends and family to know what to do for the best. I once acknowledged a loss, thinking it was kind and thoughtful, and turned out it was the last thing they wanted and it upset the family

If you generally have a good relationship with your family, I'd cut them some slack

YANBU - we lost twins very late in pregnancy. Some people mark the date, others don't. I think it is for you to guide your sisters as to what you would like to do. Some people are terrified of doing the wrong thing. I know Christmas cards can be a big issue for some people. We used to go for a quiet walk and release some balloons with our toddler but we've done less over the years as life gets in the way. We remember them in our own way every day. Why not casually tell them what you did this year and ask them to join you next year?

I’m sorry but I don’t really think that you can expect other people to remember. We do put birthday, weddings etc on calendars we don’t tend to do the same for tragic bereavement. I speak as someone who had lost children like you have.
People need a nudge sometimes eg tell your friends today is the anniversary of x’s birth and death so please can I have some tlc or next year let people know in advance etc
It is so hard when I lost my child you are celebrating birth and death and it’s so unbelievably hard - to receive sympathy cards instead of congratulation cards etc or flowers because your child has died rather than flowers to celebrate their birth.

I’m over 15 years on from you and for me it is much easier now - I have a quiet moment with myself and then move on - my family and friends are oblivious. But be kind to yourself and also others - they might have tempered but not want to draw attention to it - it’s a really hard thing to discuss or being up and unfortunately most people are led by their own stuff in their lives and then add on not knowing what to say or do - case of foot in mouth - we don’t really deal that well in the U.K. with grief, death etc

I don’t know you, but I’m sorry for you lost please be kind to yourself today xx

Tempered was meant to read remembered - autocorrect fail

I have a couple of friends who have had similar loses. I honestly don’t know when the date is. If I did I’d possibly send a message but equally I wouldn’t want to intrude.

I’m really sorry you went through this but many people aren't good at dates. I can only remember the months of my parents’ (relatively recent) deaths, would have to check the order of service for the dates.

Thinking of you as you remember your special little one. Our family post a 'remembering the lost child with love' message on Facebook which nudges wider family and friends to join us commemorating the little one's birthday.
Perhaps you could share with your family how you marked your little one's birthday, not necessarily over Social Media but however you feel most comfortable, to guide them how to react. Sending much love. X

I think you need to let them know you were hurt & tell them what you would like for next year. Maybe suggest doing something together? I'm sure if you're close they wouldn't intentionally upset you. Also for people saying they wouldn't remember or note down the date I think that's awful. It takes 2 seconds to mark down a date in a calendar and would mean a lot to someone that you remember.

This.

I have two friends who have lost their young adult dc to suicide.
I want them to know I often think about them, but I don't want to intrude by sending them texts on the day they died.
People are all different.
I am really sorry for your loss, but, much as people have huge sympathy for your situation, it is a fact that both other people don't have the same connection to a person they never knew as the parents do. Those that have remembered the date, will usually not know what to say, or even if they should say anything.

Of course it’s a sad day for you and your partner, but I don’t think you can expect your sisters to acknowledge it.

Sending you gentle hugs xxx

Of course her sisters should acknowledge it! There is no excuse for this in my eyes … not for a sister and a niece.

Im so sorry for your loss and birthdays and anniversaries must feel very emotional.

I do think you should tell your sisters you were hurt. They will know then for future anniversaries in case they misguidedly didn’t say anything.