...to be angry at being Gina Ford-ed?

[CheerfulSoul]

A friend of mine got out her Gina Ford book and proceeded to tell me what my very happy and content 4mo dd should be doing.

Why should my perfectly happy baby be expected to conform to someone else's schedule?

If your baby is happy and you are happy just ignore your friend. Is she jealous?

You haven't been Gina Forded. Your friend read some of her book to you.

Why does it bother you? You can think for yourself, can't you?

Take no notice, bring your child up normally instead.

You're not a baby, no-one is putting you down for naps at precise intervals and feeding you according to a complex table. That would be being Gina-Forded.

You can talk to your friend about it if you like you know. Tell her that you don't believe babies need schedules of that kind.

LOL, the problem with GF is that there is no time for coffee/long lunches with friends - also no 7:45pm Go and dick about on Mumsnet...

Ignore her.

just tell her you dont agree with it?
does she follow it exactly for her own baby or something

LOL Morloth tht's exactly why I have never used GF

Cheerfulsoul ur dd is obviously happy so trust your own instincts and ignore other's interferance well meant advice

LOL, what do you mean there is no time to dick about on MN? It's a 7am to 7pm day....

Follow GF day and at 7.30 you'll be cracking open the vino...

Baby Led Day... All the best of luck....

It's really NOT that complex and is a good framework to hang the rest of your life from.

I don't understand all the furore, I'd rather know what I was doing and be a bit more organised. Once you know what you are doing and when, it's so easy to play with, to move things about within reason to accommodate life, travelling, getting out and about and seeing people.

I tried the BL freefall method, for 4 long, sad, hair whitening months. I was utterly alone, no-one to help, DH refused to pitch in, Mum was more interested in being a blushing second time around bride than a GM.

Frankly it was bonkers, DS was miserable, overtired, and not thriving. I needed a calm organised voice, a structure to get me through. Within 4 days of having a structure, he was a happy gurgling little chap. We never looked back...

But Cheerful, if you are doing well on your own, then well done, don't take your friend's suggestions as a bad thing, she is sharing her experiences, looking for validation. Maybe she's had a harder time than she let on.

I would go off my rocker if I had to follow a routine, actively prefer a bit of chaos.

tee hee! horses for courses eh? I prefer managed chaos...

but I'm an ex control freak project manager, it goes with the territory....

I was actually appalled that DS broke the waters 2 days early....

I found it impossible to follow quite frankly. GF is for formula fed babies I think, if you breast feed they just fall asleep at the breast and so the nap routine never works.

Also in total in disagreement with the whole concept knowing what I know now.

shimmery I completely agree - totally incompatible with BFing I would think.

Everyone I know of who Gfs is seriously stressed out and spends their life counting how many ozs/spoonfuls/minutes of sleep their child has had - not an easy way to live surely?

I thought it would never work for a BF baby, but somehow, DS2 who is EBF seems to have read the book himself and at 10 weeks her routine is very close to his natural routine.

Even when not doing GF I always thought that the bedtime routine and sleeping all evening aand all night was a good idea

I do think that if someone is having a hard time (eg baby up all night, overtired etc) reading GF and using some of it can be useful.

That said DD and DS1 were GF'ed when I went back to work, they were FF by that point (6 months) and it gave the nanny a routine.

So to the OP if your baby is happy and thriving and you are getting enough sleep, ignore her.

GF worked really well for us (and I breastfed DS for 16 months) because we like routine and are, frankly, a disorganised and unhappy mess without structure! It definitely isn't for everyone though and people shouldn't try to impose any method on anyone else.

Sometimes people get a bit over-excited when something really works for them and get a bit evangelistic about it. If you're happy with what you are doing then end of story.

I GFd with both of my DCs and it was great. 7-7 from 12 weeks, nice long naps at predictable times, so it was very easy to go out for lunches and coffees. The rhythm suited mine very well and they thrived. Happy all round, but I can well appreciate that if you prefer a bit more chaos it won't work. Wasn't at all stressed - in fact the opposite!

OP - did someone get you in a half-swaddle and force you into a room furnished only with blackout blinds?

I found GF useful for DS1 - it helped me understand what was going on. Took it with a pinch of salt, mind you.

Some people just think that if you are not doing things the way they do then you MUST be having problems.

My SIL - who is lovely BTW - kept telling me about this marvellous book which solved all her DD's sleep problems. She offered to lend it to me. Thanks but we don't need it, I said, DS sleeps perfectly (thanks to GF!). She still went and found it for me and tried to give it to me. I had to say, VERY FIRMLY: We Don't Need It But Thanks.
And she was: oh!

Oh, what nonsense.
GF is just a enterprising but unimportant author who has found a way to make a pretty penny out of the most gullible and desperate - the first time mothers.
There's more to raising a child than cc and Baby Led whatever. Most babies fall into their own routine given the home environment is calm and peaceful, i.e no Heavy Metal or similar coming from mammoth size speakers etc.
Children are creatures of routine ... hey, we all are. We tend to sleep, eat, play work and groom at certain times of the day; not much differs with the tiny ones.

Ok. I've never read any GF books but I'm finding it a bit scary that young babies are expected to sleep 12 hours straight! Both my bf boys needed fed during the night. There is no way I would have left them for 12 hours! Does she recommend putting them in a seperate room at that age too because there's no way you could ignore a baby in the same room as you!

What prompted her to get the book out?

I GFd and breastfed, perfectly possible.

Aren't most babies sleeping about 12 hours at 6 months anyway? Its not that young to be sleeping through. The bit where she says "obviously if your baby is hungry you should feed him/her" seems to pass most people by.

Do you think MN HQ are watching this thread with fingers poised on the delete button ? .

I ebf and GF too.

I wanna know what Shimmerysilverglitter knows now, but didn't know before - all very mysterious!!

Our DD is breast fed, 4 months old, sleeps from 6.30pm to 7am. No particular routine, save for bath time, which settles her down for the night.

Baby-led is not a nightmre of chaos - she sleeps when she's tired, which is usually after 1 1/2 to 2 hours of being awake. If we're out and about, she sleeps in the pram.

It definitely depends on the baby - so go GF if you/your baby needs it and don't if you/they don't. Simples.

I know several childminders who HATE Gina Ford's routines. Takes new children for ever to settle into a childminder, due to the fact that they need complete darkness/silence to go to sleep and there is no way you can impose such a strict regime when there are other children around who have their own needs and schedules. One size fits all approach does not address individual needs either. (Can't stand the gestapo approach to child rearing either) IGNORE developmental milestones, they'll drive you dippy and they are generally not accurate eitherx