Jealous and judgey all at the same time

[ibangthedrums]

A school friend is going on holiday with her DH and 4 yr old DD. They are staying in a fairly remote apartment complex. There is a pool but no kids club.

They are looking forward to spending the whole week by the pool reading whilst DD just potters etc. No day trips or anything like that are planned.

Now I am jealous as I have two very lively pre school DSs and would never get the chance to have a holiday like that. I would spend most of the time playing games etc. There would certainly would not be much relaxing and reading. To top it all she sleeps for 14 hours a day!!!!

However, I am also judgey as I think that their DD must certainly end up bored. Do other people's children really play happily for that long? Perhaps they should try and do something a bit child centred?

We just got back from a 2 week beach/pool holiday with DD (4) and DS (2). There was a kids club but DD went once and didn't want to go again. We spent one morning at the beach but went back to the pool in the afternoon as kids were getting sand in their eyes and it was too windy, blah blah. And we did precisely no excursions. DH and I were hoping to get a bit of time reading relaxing and reading books (DH got through about 6 and me 3) but were expecting that we would have to entertain the kids too. I think we are lucky as obviously with two there is an element of them entertaining each other. Also DD was perfectly happy to sit on a sun-lounger doing some colouring in or activity books and DS happy to sit on a sun-longer playing with his cars, dinasours and so on. And for the rest of the time both DH and I or one or the other were throwing the kids about in the pool. Also they both made friends and as long as they were playing close by to us and were in the shade then we both got a bit of reading time.

I am sure that type of holiday would be hell on earth for some people but for our family it is exactly what we are after. DH works hard and is out of the house for a minimum of 12 hours a day 5 days a week. I work part-time and am juggling work and the children and the kids have 3 long days a week at Nursery. All we want out of a holiday is 2 weeks of quality time together somewhere warm and sunny with a pool. The kids don't have to be doing activities all day every day!

I echo what the person with the caravan was saying.
Our family has recently bought an old second hand caravan in Wales and it is brilliant for my ds who is an only child. Last time we were there he was out playing with his newly made friends most of the time having a wonderful time.It was hard to get him to go off the site to the beach as he was so happy. Its a lovely quiet park so i have no reason to worry.
Its such a contrast to home where there are two boys across the road who he does not even speak to even though they are the same age !

Rollergirl has just disproved miswoowoo's post. rollergirls holidays sound similar to ours. so that just proves that many families manage it.

so for all those who insist its not possible, are you going to argue that my holidays are not like this ?
no, you can't can you ?

so just accept that for some of us it is possible. sorry if you don't like that. but it is the truth.

"Child -centred?'
When mine were small, we went to places I liked on holiday.
Museums and old buildings and seaside and forests and walking.
And we did major pottering. I read and cooked a lot. We weren't bored.
Mine weren't keen on crowds, loud noises and other children. Worked well for us, they still choose to go on holiday with me despite being one adult and one nearly adult.
So as another has already said. Horses for courses. YABU.

I know the holidays exist (hence my jealousy) just thought that one day they may leave the pool - perhaps this is more to do with my inability to sit in the sun than anything else!

IABU and it is all down to jealousy. They certainly aren't jealous of my two!

YABU. Mine are happy to play for hours by themselves. Maybe if I'd done the whole Kids Club nonsense they would have turned out differently?

I rather like the way that mine have turned out.

Personally I would think whats the point going on holiday? I couldnt even have coped with a boring holiday like that before I had kids. I wouldnt want to go abroad and not go out an do and see stuff, otherwise you might as well just sit in your back garden in the uk.

I loved kids clubs when I was young I have some brilliant memories from them. I even got to ride on a camel with my brother and I loved it. I dont like resting I will do that when Im dead

The children I know that play for long periods on their own are only children, I guess they have to.

OP get some camping equipment and take a holiday.

I am with Goblinchild.

I don't do Center Parcs, Disney and "kid's holidays." I don't do kids clubs, either. I choose holidays mostly for what I like to do, and then the kids have to fit in as best they can. That may sound horrible, but the result is that they are happy to go anywhere. So we have done Gaudi in Barcelona, gone on safari in India, museums in Washington, and ruins in Greece from the time they were 15 months. May fit in a visit to the beach or parks but won't build a whole trip around it.

As for taking turns to amuse DCs, I had to do that a bit when they were very little, but now I just take them along to ruins/museums and they seem to enjoy it.

We went to Italy with dd when she was 4, stayed in an hotel and she spent all of it in a rubber ring floating around the shallow end while I lay next to her, reading. We ate ice cream, dh and i splashed around with her, no trips beyond the local market and a coffee shop. Not remotely impossible...until I tried the same thing once ds had come along.

My DD would be perfectly happy with a holiday with her parents and a few other children based round swimming. She can play in the pool all day long given half the chance!

Leave it alone. There are bigger things to worry about.

Centre parks is lovely riven I am sure you will have a great time

I love theme parks and child orientated stuff and if I won the lottery Saturday I would jetting of to Florida ASAP, because IMO there is no place as fun.

I am young though and I find sightseeing and museums boring after a day or two, I don't even go to the beach in this country because I hate it.

My dcs are happy with water, whether it's a pool on a luxury holiday or Barry Island beach!!! However if I won the lottery tomorrow I would spend a month in Florida, I've been to all Disney resorts and love them!! Can't wait to go to extortionateHarry Potter whatever and have never been to Universal studios! I would, of course, have to have a couple of weeks on a beach/near a pool to get over the holiday!!

I know I may be wrong, but I think all sorts of different holidays can be nice, and that we shouldn't begrudge each other whatever relaxes us and our children and makes us happy.

I know ds is bursting to see Harry Potter if only I had the funds, mind my dad has offered to pay half the costs for me to take ds, so maybe I should start saving.

No bites on my donate your camping equip/holiday home/caravan idea then?

DS1 has always preferred to just wander about. We spent a week in Greece and he spent the whole time spreading mulch on the garden with the owners. He told me that holiday was better than Disneyland.

It is good to just leave them to it sometimes. We were expected to entertain ourselves on holidays growing up.

Must children be spoon-fed entertainment 24 hours a day then? Are parents allowed no rest? Why must everything these days be "child-centred"?

When I was a child (without siblings in a lone parent household) I never had holiday clubs and the like, nor was I always the centre of everyone's plans for the day. I amused myself and I'm sure the child in question can too.

Well imo it sounds as though its a holiday for them not the child, they are being a bit selfish imo not planning things to do for the child, have they forgotten they have one . My dd 3.4 would not keep still for 2 nanoseconds, would like a variety of things to keep her occupied and entertained. That would not be the ideal holiday for us as a family, even without children. Sounds a bit boring imo.