AIBU to think some degree of childproofing is absolutely necessary?

[giggitygiggity]

DH is driving me crazy, every time I suggest that we need to fit stairgates, fireguards, secure the loose dangly electrical wires, remove the door with broken glass pane exactly at toddling height etc etc I am met with a massive whinge about how he "doesnt want the whole house to look like a giant playpen".

Before DD I would just have got on and done these things myself, but there is just no way I have the time now (or necessary DIY ability )

So AIBU to think that these are just the things that go with having a child - the house looks like (horror) a child actually lives there? It's like he sees making the house basically safe as some kind of failure which means that DD will grow up wrapped in cotton wool and never be able to cope with anything at all.

It depends on whether or not you want to ever be able to take your eyes off them.

Quite apart from there being a child there or not, he shouldn't think broken glass and dangling wires is normal.

I think there is a middle ground.
Of course you need to do some stuff but I also think that some of the child proofing is a little hysterical

People can be quite bizarre in the lengths that they deem necessary and their choice is the only one.

But I think middle ground is right. You need to compromise. Insist on what you see as the basics and negotiate sensibly around the rest

Broken glass and hanging wires are a general hazard rather than a baby specific one so ought to be dealt with.

That aside I don't think baby proofing (socket covers corner protectors) is particularly necessary myself.

My DH thought the same. Until he looked after DD for a day. We haven't gone mad though, just made sure wires etc. are out of the way.

Your Dh is being U. When you have a child you should want to do everything possible to keep them safe. Sounds to me like he has no understanding of how easy it would for a toddler to fall down the stairs or hurt themselves on something that could have been made safe. You can buy pressure mounted stairgates and if I was you I would fit these myself or get someone over to fit the other kind and I wouldn't even consult my husband over this. It would just be done

Wires & broken glass need fixing. If your DH won't or can't do it, then do it yourself or get someone in.

Fireguards - I wouldn't bother, unless you have a fire every day.

Stairgate might be a good plan, depending on the layout of your house. I'd just go out and buy one personally.

Socket covers / cupboard locks / corner cushions are overrated IMHO.

Agree that broken glass and loose wires aren't really acceptable whatever the age of the people living in the house.

Safety gates are open to discussion imo, but they do allow you to have lie-ins/quiet time in the shower, which I think is a massive advantage. The best thing we ever did was fix a safety gate onto one of the rooms so it could be used as a large playpen: bought me masses of free time which would otherwise have had to spent interacting with keeping a beady eye on dcs.

We never got round to fixing cupboard locks, but then dcs did have their own special cupboard in the kitchen, and anything seriously dangerous was kept at a height.

Anyway, anyone who doesn't "want the house to look like a playpen" seems to have forgotten the basic fact that it is the baby's house just as much as it is his: this is what becoming a family means.

DD peeled the corner covers off the table as quick as I put them on.

I did not child proof the house, beyond the sensible normal stuff that pretty much everyone does: making sure that knives/poison/meds are kept too high for the DC to reach, no obvious hazards.

We had stairgates because we had a big open staircase and I worried that they would fall down when playing.

The broken glass and hanging wires are a completely different matter and have to be dealt with right away. If your DH won't do it, ask one of his mates. Or a neighbour.

I had corner guards on one table (which has metal edging) but nothing else. No stairgates, no socket covers or permanent cupboard locks. I think there is a middle ground and you need to teach your child what is safe and what isn't rather than having a blanket approach that everything is dangerous.

Basic household safety has to be a priority, so sorting out dangling electric wires and broken glass should be done regardless if the age of the occupants.

But really! A toddler does live there - what's he trying to pretend? Is he one of the 'having a baby won't change our lives' brigade?

You can provide additional safety withou making your house look like a kindergarten. Much of the toddler-proofing is not strictly necessary, it depends on whether you can cope and on your children's personalities. I know a household with 4dc aged 20m - 7y, and they have never had fireguard or stairgates. Personally, I could not cope with that. I needed stairgates, but have no fireguard for our electric fire. I absolutely could not cope without gating off the kitchen, but am not bothered about toilet-seat locks or electric socket covers.

BTW those fat foam cushions that fit over doors to stop fingers being trapped are very useful when they reach the hissy fit door slamming age!

Like another poster said, broken glass and dangling wire should be taken care of anyway. I've never done things like stairgates and my kids have never had any kind of "normal childhood accidents" (well dh did once accidentally open the car door onto dd1's face but that's nothing to do with childproofing).

at the weekend give him the choice between sorting out the wires/glass etc or looking after you lo for the day so that you can sort it out.

either way it needs to be done

Hmm we moved house when DS3 was 8 weeks old. never had a stairgate, only ever used socket covers on one plug and that was for DS2's benefit. (he is a poker and this s right outside their room)

We keep scissors and medicines out of reach, i leave the cleaning stuff under the sink but there is a cupboard with chocolate in next to it so they are more likely to go for that and i always go in after them when they go in.

Broken glass and hanging wires are a hazard at whatever age so they do need sorting.

I think it depends on your child. But like everyone else said, dangling wires and broken glass are things that nobody should be living with.

With child-proofing, we did have stairgates but could easily have managed perfectly safely without them (DD very very nervous careful child) and didn't bother with anything else. The mere idea that anything was dangerous was plenty to keep her away from cupboards of toxic chemicals, plugs, fires, sharp things etc etc.

She now quite often tells her father off for doing dangerous things like leaving a sharp corkscrew lying about (she's nearly four now).

But some children just don't listen if you tell them things are dangerous so it's probably pretty useful to be able to forcibly separate them from the bottle of bleach etc. Only you know which kind you have!

Even if you do fully toddler proof your house, they will still find someway of falling and hurting themselves - so it's not exactly wrapping them in cotton wool.

We mused that to keep DS 100% safe we would need to have a padded room including the floor and squishy toys only. I suspect he would still find someway to pick up a bruise.

It depends on what behaviours your DD has and what risk is involved. Although any risk that could potentially be fatal is worth making safe even if the probability of occurance is low.

Anything where toddler+water+electricity or toddler+large-fall or toddler+burns is possible I would make safe without hesitation.

Our kitchen is out of limits because there is no reasonable way of keeping DS from the oven or from pulling down the cutlery dryer (5" knives!) on top of himself.

Then there is making the garden safer...

I had stairgates at the top and bottom of my stairs and on my kitchen door.

Aside from that I had no other safety measures - actually I did have a playpen which was useful so I could go and have a bath in the mornings.

But aside from that, am tbh not sure why anyone would actually want to live in a house with broken glass and dangling wires.

It depends whether you want to have a miserable couple of years shouting "no" (and being ignored) every two seconds. We did like Cory and made one room a safe zone with gates in and out. It looked pretty peculiar for a while - massive "fence" around flat screen telly, etc - but made life an awful lot easier. Kids could then play in there and look through safety gate to me in the kitchen.

That said, they will manage to hurt themselves on anything.

BTW If you have a flatscreen tv perhaps you could encourage your child to scribble on it with crayons. That might spur your DH on a bit. (White spirit gets it off, apparantly, but no need to tell DH that).

broken glass and hanging wires need to be dealt with anyway right?

I have socket covers but no stair gates (we live over 3 floors but no probs so far). There's a child lock on the cupboard under the kitchen sink where the bleach etc is but not on the other cupboards. Scissors, medicines etc are all out of reach. I do spend my time keeping doors closed, having a close eye on DD and saying 'be careful but I don't like stairgates so that's probably an aesthetic thing for me.

Just out of interest, what do you do with all DD's toys? IME having a toddler round the place means toys all over the place too so the house looks like a giant playpen anyway

In fairness to him he did finally get round to sorting out the broken door panel this weekend, but i lost count of the number of times i pointed out it still needed doing.

I totally agree that you cant protect them from everything, and we dont have corner cushions or child locks on cupboards (yet!) but it's more lke schmee says, i dont want to spend the first years of her life constantly telling her 'no'.

The broken glass and dangly cords were in the room that was supposed to be a room sized playpen!!

I'm usually pretty good at making sure most of the toys are put away at the end of each day, so we at least have a tidy house for the evening. (For my own sanity as much as anything else )

YABU. I don't beleive houses need childproofing. the glass should have been changed anyway, irrespective of a child. and why would YOU want wires hanging down ?
But I think your dh has a point. I hate going to houses where children have overtaken the whole house. childproof locks, door handles, stairgates, toys everywhere - in the garden, kitchen, lounge EVERWHERE. tons and tons and tons of toys.
Children are not centre of the universe. they are not the only member of a family, you know !!

Think a lot of childproofing depends on the child.

i probably over did it with dd1 (PFB ) but couldn't get enough with dd2.

By then I was a single parent and she was crawling & walking v early. She was obsessed with plugs,fires, tv/video, kitchen, anything that was any sort of danger to her & I ended up with half the house cordened off to keep myself sane! We still had a fireguard when she was 7 and I'm not trusting her 100% now (nearly 9). I also had major trouble with the Christmas tree as she felt it should be climbed and that ended up behind a fire guard too as it was the only thing I liked decorating at Christmas .

Am now pg with dc3 and a lot more concious of what can/can't be done but it depends on what sort of child they are.

Agree that you can overdo it - stairgates on a small landing can be hazardous to the rest of the family as I know from painful experience. Do it gradually as you see what kind of child you have. You will have to be more vigilant initially but perhaps it will help you and dh find the middle ground.

Agree it depends on the child, and also circumstances.

When I just had DD1, I lived in a flat so stair gate wasn't an issue. Also, she wasn't the type to stick things in plug sockets etc (I did have those little things stuck in them anyway just in case) and she was remarkably unclumsy so I didn't have to do much. Also, I only had one kid so it was a lot easier to keep track of her.

Now I have stair gates, things stuck on sharp corners, the works.

DD2 fractured her leg on the stairs (actually, DH ran, grabbed her then slipped himself ) and you do feel pretty shit when something like that happens

Those guard rail thingies for the cooker are a very good idea.