AIBU to think some degree of childproofing is absolutely necessary?

[giggitygiggity]

DH is driving me crazy, every time I suggest that we need to fit stairgates, fireguards, secure the loose dangly electrical wires, remove the door with broken glass pane exactly at toddling height etc etc I am met with a massive whinge about how he "doesnt want the whole house to look like a giant playpen".

Before DD I would just have got on and done these things myself, but there is just no way I have the time now (or necessary DIY ability )

So AIBU to think that these are just the things that go with having a child - the house looks like (horror) a child actually lives there? It's like he sees making the house basically safe as some kind of failure which means that DD will grow up wrapped in cotton wool and never be able to cope with anything at all.

TBH I think it depends both on your child, and whether you want to be able to concentrate on something other than your DC for more than one second at a time.

Stairgates are essential for young toddlers IMO. I think things like oven door locks, toilet locks etc etc are probably overkill for the majority of people. I tend to just keep the bathroom door closed (DS can't open it himself), and when DD was younger and worked out how to open it, I used to lock it from the outside!

Corner covers always get picked off IME, although fireguards are essential.

Don't buy one of those multi-packs of house-safety items, as half of it will be totally pointless!

cyteen, i too have fallen down the stairs many times. i am so clumsy. plus i have diabtic hypo's and throw myseld down , literally. not cool.i can't see how a stairgate at the top would have helped me. if there had been one at the bottom, that would have been even worse. because i would have gone tumbling into that.
ds1 did fall down the stairs once. older. no harm other than shock and nothing that a very long cuddle and a chocolate biscuit didn't sort.

Oblomov "Children are not centre of the universe. they are not the only member of a family, you know !!"

Isn't that part of the point of childproofing - so that you can let them get on with it a bit more without having to watch them like hawks constantly?

For me babyproofing gave me a lot more freedom - to wash their clothes, make their meals, and occasionally go to the loo by myself without a child trying to eat the loo brush, unwind the loo roll or gnaw on the bottle of bleach....

I never claimed to be rational about it

Re: srairgate. The ones you have to step over are utterly bizarre, imo. I just cannot fathom how and why they were designed that way.

Ones you are not likely to trip over are (as a rule) essential imo, but I can see how people live without them and again, depends a lot on a home's layout.

I did not childproof the house.

I did use a playpen though, for those moments (getting laundry out, phone calls and also just to have a MN break)when I needed DS to be secure.

Don`t really understand when they went out of fashion, I think they have their use.

As others say, you should sort the broken glass and wires irrespective of kids, the rest is not necessary.

Depends on the child. Both my dcs are not reckless - certainly not prone to superman stunts.

Did nominal childproofing for dd. By ds' time, could not be bothered with stairgates or anything. He fell down the stairs once headdown top to bottom at SIL's house which had stairgates. After that, he never fell again.

He also taught himself to climb up and down stairs. Always taking it within the limit of his ability.

Children learn pdq - called survival instinct.

If my dcs won't even eat normal food, why would they down a bottle of bleach?

blueshoes - same here!

He did once climb up on the kitchen counter and put his finger on the iron. He's never climbed up again

Wires and broken glass should be fixed regardless

Regarding the rest - we don't have a stairgate - the only thing we have are socket covers. I haven't moved any kitchen chemicals etc.

BUT my ds is not a 'toucher' - I can completely trust him not to dig through cupboards etc. Will reassess when I have no 2 as I know all kids are different.

So you need to make an assessment based on your son.

Regarding dhs attitude - when I was pregnant dh was adamant that all toys etc would be stored in ds' room and the only evidence of his existence in the rest of the flat would be photos.

Roll on 3 years and there is evidence of ds all over the place and half our kitchen diner is a playroom! DH found it hard at first but I just kept pointing out that it is ds' home as well and that ds actually spends more time in the house than he does!! The one exception is the lounge which is a child free zone - we spend our time in the kitchen diner and ds only comes into the lounge to watch tv so there is no need for him to have any stuff in here. This has given dh is adult room.

Ladybiscuit

I've said this already, but nobody can say, with certainty, that their DC will never do x,y or z. I'm pretty surprised to hear people say they can, tbh.

By the time you have the second or subsequent child, you have got to let up on the health and safety anyway.

All those warnings about not leaving small parts around for children under 3. By ds' time, dd's little chokey toys bits were all over the place. Did not see ds crawl around and try to eat one! Sure they will put it in their mouths, but to actually swallow, I am doubtful.

We have stairgates (non trip one at top) and elastic bands on cupboard doorhandles (our type of handle suits tying together with elastic) and that's it. No fire guard or TV guard or even a guard on DP's £40k hi fi system.
We've been lucky that DD (21 months) is not a grabber so as long as she can't tumble downstairs or find the bleach, I just use common sense. Do agree with the comment that stair gates allow them some independence. DD has run of upstairs while I have a shower cos we have a stair gate.

You know your child, so go with what you think. Fix anything like glass, wiring etc - that's common sense for anyone.

Jenai, people can because their dcs didn't.

Stairgates
Harnesses
Up to date car seats
Fireguards
Minor decluttering (overdue anyway)

That's it. Four of mine have survived.

We never had stairgates when either myself or my brother were kids - because of the layout of the house they were impossible to fit. We were warned, we were supervised - neither of us came to any harm!

Well my ds doesn't - but then he is never left unsupervised in the kitchen or other 'danger' rooms either.

He knows not to go in the kitchen so he doesn't. He knows to go down the stairs on his bottom and to ask me first.

That's him - my nephew on the other hand! Well we child proof our house when he is round as much as we can!!

My brother did a blinding bit of manoeuvering once on the stairs whilst coming down them on his tummy at the age of about 2. He came round the bend, shot under the 1970s parallel bannister, and fell a whole storey, finally landing flat on his back. Total silence, no movement. My mum went into red alert mode yelling things like "Omigod!" Finally, after what seemed like ages, he got up and ran off, right as rain.

I would not recommend this as a safety training strategy, however.

I head somewhere that one of the most common things A&E staff hear from parents is "I didn't know he/she could do that!"

agree with blueshoes. all this child proofing is codswallop. ds2 (21 mths) plays with ds1's(6.5) lego all the time.
i just don't worry as much as some parents do.
all the parents of ds, all have 6 yr olds. most have younger children too. and they come round going, oh you have no stairgates, oh you have no socket covers. "obs youre ds2 has got some lego". oh well, i say. takes it out of his mouth. problem averted.

its just over-reacting.

My friend who is a paediatrician praised me for not child proofing too much! She says a lot of the a&e cases she sees are kids who have done something because they suddenly had the opportunity - eg stairgate left open, grapes left out when normally hidden etc

The only accidents ds has had were entirely my own fault (falling off my bed etc) and not to do with a lack of child proofing and thank goodness they weren't that serious!! The best form of childproofing is keeping a beady eye on them!

All this business of the baby being well-supervised: what happens when he's the elder brother? You may find that all the child-proofing utterly useless (egsituation with Lego) oryou might find it suddenly nec essary (eg because you can't supervise several dc at a time, or to allow older dc to play with scissorsthat you don't really want baby playing with).

It's a fluid situation - what may be apprpriate today may notbe apprpriate next year.

Agree with pretty candles - dynamics change and no 2 could be a totally different kettle of fish.

It all depends on the child/children really

We haven't done much childproofing, I have preferred to try and teach that some things are dangerous (and tbh DD is extremely cautious anyway).
We have a stairgate on her room - mainly because I don't like shutting her door and not being able to hear her if she is upset at night, and stairgate keeps her in but within earshot. Plus I tie up the blind cord in her bedroom, and keep bleach on a high shelf in the bathroom.
No childproofing in the kitchen, but she knows she is not allowed to open any cupboards or the dishwasher if we aren't there, and she is not allowed to touch the oven, ever. I do let her help me empty the dishwasher and put all the safe things away - mostly her own cups, plates cutlery etc - she was v interested in it and I don't want to make it attractive because it is off limits.
She is allowed up and down the stairs on her own and has been ever since she could first negotiate them. Would rather she learned to be careful around stairs.
She is a very careful, obedient person though - if she wasn't I'd probably behave in a v different way. You know your own child best.

My DH fell down the stairs aged 12mo and broke his leg. So it doesn't necessarily follow that we were all fine not having child-proofing when we were younger. Saying that, it hasn't done him any lasting damage, AND he's the biggest risk taker I know!