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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Silent Bullies

34 replies

packbell · 05/07/2010 16:05

How do I handle this if at all?

I been made a social outcast by a group of mums at school, because my ex-best friend has teamed up with them in their clique!

I used to be friends with one of these others mums before, but she turn on me when I made friends with this now ex-friend (very childish I know)!!

Anyway this ex-friend is now really palley with this group of mums and I'm being ignored by several of them! I think she must of told them everything I've ever said about them! Best friends should be able to talk to each other!!

I'm finding it really uncomfortable being around this at school, should I approach these mums and ask them what the problem is or just ignore them in the same way they are ignoring me???

OP posts:

BeerTricksPotter · 05/07/2010 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

packbell · 05/07/2010 16:13

There are, I don't want friendship from these people just politness!! I find it really uncomfortable to walk past someone say hello only to be plainly ignored!! These women are 10 yrs older than me in their 40s and should know better. They were always polite before they made friends with this ex-friend of mine!!

OP posts:

thesunshinesbrightly · 05/07/2010 16:14

How childish if i can make a suggestion, try not to bitch behind people's back's and it won't bite you on the bum.

shimmerysilverglitter · 05/07/2010 16:16

What a load of chumps!

Ignore, I would.

This kind of thing honestly doesn't bother me, I don't tend to try and get involved in the Playground thing really, precisely because of this kind of behaviour, who needs it?

I go in with my dc, wait till the bell rings, drop ds off and then hare out of there asap, with a few smiles along the way if I absolutely have to. Just be smiley and approachable to everyone else and I think they would probably end up looking a bit silly.

BeerTricksPotter · 05/07/2010 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

scurryfunge · 05/07/2010 16:17

Continue to say good morning to them, even if they do not respond. Life is too short....find some new friends.

Original poster

packbell · 05/07/2010 16:17

It wasn't bitching I was just talking to a close friend about things that were bothering me!! And to be honest if I went back and told every person what another had said about them to me, there would be alot being bitten on the backside!!! They seem to forget all the bitching they have done!!

OP posts:

5DollarShake · 05/07/2010 16:19

Oh dear!!!

God, I am dreading the whole school-gate-friendship thing. It sounds way more political, back-biting and down-right bitchy than my actual school days ever were!

I'd probably just learn the lesson and lay low, to be honest.

TheBolter · 05/07/2010 16:21

To be perfectly honest they are probably less than impressed by your alleged comments about them.

If I heard that someone had been saying nasty things about me I would be really uncomfortable around them and probably a little embarrassed too.

That said, none of us are perfect and I for one have found myself 'venting' from time to time... I'm just very selective about who I vent to.

Your friend sounds like a bit of an idiot for blabbing to them. Perhaps she wanted to impress them? If so, how childish.

Your only consolation is that her new found friends probably don't have much respect for her as she has already revealed herself to be a two faced gossip.

TheBolter · 05/07/2010 16:22

5dollar, not all school gates are like this, believe me.

thesunshinesbrightly · 05/07/2010 16:22

To true.Just ignore them. This why i chose to keep myslef to myslef.

5DollarShake · 05/07/2010 16:23

TheBolter - that's good to know. I'm sure they're not!!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 05/07/2010 16:35

Are you 12? that's the way you sound. I collect DD from school every day. I am not part of the in crowd clique, nor would I want to be. I am far to blunt for my own good and consider only two people, from a whole school of about 700 to be worthy of my attention.

IngridFletcher · 05/07/2010 16:42

I had a slightly similar thing happen to me except the cow in question was more circumspect.

I have learnt to be really really careful what I say to people at school - I trust very few people. Even very innocent things can be twisted. I have perfected the grin and 'hiya, you ok?' and walk past.

BertieBasset · 05/07/2010 16:45

Just keep saying hello and smiling, they are the ones who will look daft.

And for what it's worth, I would put money on this ex friend causing trouble if she is the sort to repeat comments back to people. Give it a couple of months and no one will be talking to her!

Original poster

packbell · 05/07/2010 16:55

I now keep my mouth firmly shout and do not comment on anything. I can now be normally found petting the new cute pug dog dexter. At least hopefully he'll will be loyal!!

No kreecherlivesupstairs I am 31 and these women are 40+, I was bullied at school and thought I left this kind of behaviour behind long ago!!!

OP posts:

brass · 05/07/2010 16:57

er..if I found out you'd been saying things about me I'd ignore you too!

Like someone suggested...don't bitch about people!

Original poster

packbell · 05/07/2010 16:59

Again it wasn't bitching, thouh I am very sure what I did confide i my now ex-friend has been totally taken out of context!!!

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 05/07/2010 17:10

Aaah, 31 strokes grey 'tache contemplativley, you are a child (say's one staring osteoporosis in the face)

JacobBlacksBitch · 05/07/2010 17:11

well they should realise if she is blabbing all your dark & secret thoughts to her new friends, she will be blabbing theirs to all & sundry given first opportunity.

Mumcentreplus · 05/07/2010 17:18

Oh please! they were not her friends why would she not say anything about them if it was in context of a coversation even if it was a bitchy one??..she should have been able to confide in a friend (and I use the term loosely)...tbh your friend sounds evil/childish and you are well rid..just do as others have suggested in and out...I would not be surprised if people said things about me ..ffs they are not my friends they can think what they like till they get to know me

booyhoo · 05/07/2010 17:20

hang on, if you have said stuff about them then they probably dont want to be friends with you. tehy have good reason. i wouldn't be friends with someone who was bitching about me.

booyhoo · 05/07/2010 17:22

you all sound really childish.

Mumcentreplus · 05/07/2010 17:23

why the fuck do you care..honesty..

compo · 05/07/2010 17:25

Why do you want to be friends with these people?

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