to think it's odd to be buying baby clothes/furniture when not pregnant?

[MeandMyKid]

Just popped to see a friend that I've not seen for a while as she has new house. She was showing me all the rooms and then took me into the nursery. I started jumping up and down congratulating her and she said, "Oh, I'm not pregnant and don't plan to be for at least 3 more years."

She then went on to tell me that for the last five years she has been buying lots of different baby clothes for both sexes and promptly opened the nursery wardrobe where all the garments were hanging with their tags on.

So I thought she is bonkers or has secretly been trying all these years. But by searching Google I have discovered she is not alone and lots of people (out yourselves please) do it! Now I'm putting my issues into perspective and feeling smuggly normal!

That is bonkers. More money than sense too.

I would understand having the odd exceptionally cute baby outfit, but a whole room???

That is...odd.

It does sound rather presumtious! Who's to say she will ever concieve. Very odd behaviour indeed!

yanbu

if I knew it'd be 3yrs before I had kids I'd be using the room as a study / cinema / sewing room / library / hot tub, no tfilling it full of baby clothes

I bought nothing till after the 12wk scan
nothing.

That is very scary...she clearly yearns for a baby.Maybe her partner has different views and this is a way to compensate.(sorry, may not be a partner either).

YANBU, she is a bit of a loon. People take it for granted that they will be able to have children. What if there are problems.

We didn't buy anything until I was 14 weeks with DS. This time I have seen some great maternity clothes on offer that I want but as I am only 8 weeks, I'm not chancing it.

A colleague of mine did that, bought loads of baby stuff but she was desperately trying.

After about 5 years of failed IVF she gave me all her stuff when I was pregnant with ds1, saying she knew it was never going to happen now

it is crazy but ive known of people to do it, they didnt even have a boyfriend or any kind of partner, and buying all girls stuff - if they even had a baby could have been a boy. its mad. yeah it may be tempting if you see something nice in shops but silly to actually buy it, making the nursery is even worse

When we moved in to our bigger flat I bought furniture that would work as a nursery (we had beeen trying for 2 years at that no point with no luck

I hoped I would have children one day though and it made sense to think of the future.

NOw I am pregnant 3 years after we started trying and I don't have to buy any big stuff. I don't make loads of money and am glad I don't have to buy everything now... or in the last trimester like many people do.

I have to say I kept it all secret though as I felt people would be judgey.

And personally I think buying loads just before you make yourself unemployed is looney! grin]

I'm considering buying her a "build a bear" so she can get use of the clothes and cot!

I never bought anything until 35 weeks with the first and I bought a vest at 10 weeks with the second. That weekend I bled and vowed never to buy anything until the last minute!

people really do this?
buy a whole wardrobe of clothes, and decorate a whole room before they've even started ttc?
have i missed something?

DH had a male friend who did this. Not the furniture but the baby clothes. He met a really nice woman, got engaged unveiled the baby stuff and she scarpered. He refuses to this day (still songle) to admit/recognise that it could be viewed as odd. There is nothing sinister about him I hasten to add, he's just desperate to be a dad.

It must be somewhere on the exessive consumerism spectrum... Maybe this is the answer to 'what do people buy who have everything?'

Maybe one of those Reborn dolls would suit her MaMK? Sounds like she may be a control freak

It is a bit like the ones who obsess over their future wedding isn't it?

DH's ex used to carry a scrapbook of wedding bits/notes and a sample of fabric around with her all the time even while single.

It seems weirder a bloke doing it though doesn't it?

rubs eyes, re-reads these posts

They did what??? Madness!

A single friend of mine buys some baby clothes once every few months on the off chance that someone she knows will have a baby.

But decking out a whole room when there isn't a sniff of a baby on the horizon

Do these people have huge houses with more spare rooms than they know what to do with?

I didn't even think about making my precious spare room into a nursery until I was around 7 months pregnant with DS.

OP - YADNBU! Run for the hills.

TLC - my OH was decorating the nursery the night before I was due to come home with babe. Ok, so that's the other extreme but....

P.S. She has a standard, small imaculate new bbuild which is gonna get trashed if she eever has kids!

YABU i'd be a little sad if you were my friend and though such nasty things about me

Maybe she is trying for a baby but just said 3 years incase it isnt happening for them at the mo and doesnt want to get her hopes up

I feel really sad that you posted this thread

I have a friend who is desperately trying for a baby and I know she buys unisex outfits when they are reduced and puts them in a bottom drawer. I desperately hope that she gets pg soon

This does sound a bit mad, and seriously OTT, but when talking to my Nan she explained that in her day when you got to a certain age you started to get given/buy things in preperation for marriage (bits to go on your dress, things for your house - all little of course).

Then, when you were married you started to get given/buy things in preperation for baby - sometimes even given as wedding presents. Apparently this was normal and all these things would go 'in the bottom drawer' ready to come out when the 'inevitable' finally happened.

This example sounds very extreme - but could be a cultural/ heritage/ tradition thing.

keeping them quietly in a bottom drawer isn't the same as showing off your furnished 'nursery' though is it?

YANBU, That's very odd.

No lisasimpson, it's not. I guess I was trying to make the point that if there are people out there who think 'bottom drawer' buying well before a baby is being thought about, that maybe there are others who are quite accepting of out and out bonkers nursery dressing well before baby is even a glint in the eye!!

Playing devils advocate - I was trying to give a slightly different view than the loon/ scary/ madness comments.

I don't know this woman, so wouldn't want to comment on her personally - but as long as she isn't harming anyone and this isn't a symptom of ongoing mental health/ stress issues around the whole pregnancy thing then it's nothing to worry about. It might be the normal, accepted thing to do for her family/ culture etc in the same way that 'bottom drawer' buying was for my Nan and her friends and family.

I was told I could not concieve. When eventually I did I went out and bought so many thins as I was over the moon.
Unfortunatly I lost the baby and putting those things in the garae, because I just couldn't look at them was heartbreaking.

I am now 36 weeks pg and am all kitted out and ready for my miracle baby.

I can understand how she feels if she is trying, we didn't admit to anyone that I had a problem so you may not understand how she feels or her reasons.

things*

Garage*

It was heartbreaking*