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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have left a sarcastic comment

52 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 00:35

on my mums FB album?

Situation is...

Dsis, mum, bil, nephews, my friend, me,DS1 and DS2 were all going out for the day.

I popped out early and mum called to say they would meet me at about 12.30. I said in passing "Oh the park is empty, hardly worth going tbh" so mum said "ok will let Dsis know and let you know what we are doing instead".

DS1 has been at mums since yesterday.

So Friend, DS2 and I came home and waited. We then went out for a walk as DS2 was getting bored indoors.

6pm my mobile rings and it is mum telling me they are having a great time and the DC are all playing in the sand.

~I said was nice for you to let me know as DS2 would have enjoyed that.

Anyway i left it at that sooooo about 45m later she called and said "look at pics on FB there are some lovely ones".

Well I have just looked and there are photos of Dsis, Nephews, mum, Bil, DS1, and sisters friend.....and the album is titled "Family day out"

so i have left this message........

"Looks like you had a nice family day out, shame I couldn't make it DS2 would have enjoyed it."

Mum did say they didn't tell me because DS1 got in a funny mood and they didn't want the day ruined....aibu to be pissed off?

OP posts:

FlookCrow · 05/07/2010 00:41

Not at all. YANBU

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 00:43

oh i know i will get moaned at tomorrow...but fooking hell because DS1 was being moody is not a reason to "forget to invite me"

OP posts:

prozacfairy · 05/07/2010 06:34

YANBU I'd have been pissed off too. If DS1 was in a funny mood couldn't they just have been more upfront about it? As for telling you look at FB pics that seems like a dig on her part imo.

shockers · 05/07/2010 06:46

Were they at the park? Did DS1 get in a funny mood because he fancied going to the park and your Mum told him you didn't want to?

She still should have let you know though, even if that was the case.

macdoodle · 05/07/2010 07:13

Mmmm is there a back story (IIRC), sounds odd on the surface but is there more!
TBH why did you wait around to 6pm , i would have either rung them and asked where they were or just enjoyed myself with some time with DC2

Lulumaam · 05/07/2010 07:19

why did you not text and find out and then say, meet you there? why wait to find out? sounds a bit passive aggressive.. you did not contact them and then get the hump when you find out they did something nice..

compo · 05/07/2010 07:25

Why wouldn't you want to go to the park because it's empty ?
Do you prefer meeting other people there than being with your family there?
Am a bit baffled but know there is loads of backstory
very nice if your mum to look after ds1 all day anyway

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 07:56

I really need to stop posting when I am annoyed.

Right - we were meant to be going to a festival in the park but it was pretty naff.

I had text and called but got no replies even from DS1.

I had come home and was sitting down to eat when mum phoned.

Shockers, I was told DS1 was in a funny mood all day from when DN spent his b'day money. DS1 got annoyed over that and mum said he was on the wind up from then on. I didn't know about this until 6pm.

They didn't go to the park they went somewhere else, played in the water fountains, had lunch out, then went on to somewhere else.

If I am totally honest they (DM and DSIS) do this a lot. If they are going out then they let me know at the last minute or when they are out but whenever I go anywhere I always invite them....it just pisses me off.

DM, had DS1 because he wore me out so much on Saturday that I spent most of the day in tears.

The thing that annoys me is the fact that whenever we are going out they are invited - even as far as hiring a mini bus, at our expense, so everyone could go out, yet when they make plans it is always the same they either don't let me know or let me know once they are out.

OP posts:

nickschick · 05/07/2010 07:57

Are you hurt for yourself? or do you think its 'leaving out' ds2?

Its not very nice that they didnt invite you and that ds1 mood dictated that.

Having said that you and ds2 werent alone you had a friend and could do things with ds2 - so maybe just let it go.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 07:58

My friend and I did go out, even though I was waiting to hear from them, I didn't sit indoors waiting...but where I was I could have easily jumped on the bus and got to them quick enough that DS2 could have been involved in the "family day out".

OP posts:

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 08:00

Nicks, I am hurt because they do this far too often. Dsis will have BBQ's and invite others - yet not tell me. In fact last year she told her DS2 off because he happened to mention to me that our brother and his family, my mum, and others had been there for a BBQ, as it was a big secret and I wasn't to know.

OP posts:

shockers · 05/07/2010 08:13

Was it your niece that spent his birthday money?.

shockers · 05/07/2010 08:14

Sorry... nephew.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 08:16

Shocker, nephew spent his own b'day money which gave DS1 the hump apparently and he was then in a funny mood.

OP posts:

Plumm · 05/07/2010 08:17

Did you ask DSis why you weren't invited to the BBQ?

nickschick · 05/07/2010 08:19

Thelady - thats not nice at all - bloody family eh???,I dunno what you can do that doesnt involve you getting arrested .

Were they like this pre ds2?

Its sad that ds2 will grow up feeling excluded from it all,is it often ds1 is treated differently?

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 08:24

Plumm, yes but that is something I don't really want to go into because it is seperate. But it actually shows how she can stir things in a subtle way.

I will explain in brief.

met our brother for the first time a couple of years ago. We then had phone contact etc. But sis text daily etc anyway she said to me, he doesn't like being near you because you are so like Dsis2 and they don't get on.

Everytime Dbro was mentioned mum and dsis would say this to me. In the end I emailed his wife, who i get on really well with, and explained how I felt. She replied and explained what he had said was he couldn't believe how like dsis2 I was and they when he first met me, i was initial point of contact, it was a shock at how like her I am but as he has got to know me he see's I am not all that alike after all.

So because she had invited him to bbq she didn't invite or even tell me incase i went.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 08:27

Nicks, my mum will and does favour DS1 over all the GC and she has 4 of them - my 2 ds's and sis 2 ds's. It is DS1 she has to stay and always has done, it is DS1 she will give things to, sneak money to etc. And yes she will sneak money to him because I stopped giving him money because he steals from me (entirely different thread tbh lol)

OP posts:

nickschick · 05/07/2010 08:48

Lady thats not good is it.

compo · 05/07/2010 09:10

it does sound like your mum and sister are being mean in leaving you out

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 09:22

I am just glad DS2 is young enough to not understand or realise yet...

OP posts:

DetectivePotato · 05/07/2010 09:24

YANBU.

I would do days out and not invite them. I would also not let your DS1 go over to your mums so much and if she asks tell her, its both children or none. I hate favourtism, so unfair on the other child. Your mum and sis also sound very childish and they know exactly what they are doing. Sounds like your mum also favours your sister too.

bumpsnowjustplump · 05/07/2010 09:26

I dont think your comment is bad, just true. I really do know how you feel on this one. My mum, sister and brother often leave me out of things and are always meeting up without me.

For my mum and dads ruby wedding I was pg with dd and due a couple of days after. Me my brother and my sister split the costs and did a party for them. I went into labour two days before so didnt make the party but found an invite at my aunty's house and my name wasnt even on it. They had sent out all invites from my brother and sister only.... And as I wasn't there everyone thought I hadn't wanted anything to do with it...

There are so many more things as well (including my mum and dads friends not knowing I existed and told me they thought they only had one daughter) so i know how upsetting this is!!!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/07/2010 09:27

Erm, just to play devils advocate, but maybe they thought they were doing you a favour? I mean, you say that your mum took DS1 because you were on your knees. Maybe they thought keeping him out of your hair for the full day was helpful?

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/07/2010 09:33

Chickens, I would have said yes to that if I had not got the following message this morning...

"We had lunch in the pub and DS2 would not have sat down and eaten.We then went out, sorry if it upset you but we didn't think you would want to go."

OP posts:

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