to query the suggestion that breast milk should be the main part of DS's diet from 6-12 months?

[FionaSH]

to query the suggestion that breast milk should be the main part of DS's diet from 6-12 months?

My personal experience is that children vary greatly.

I have 4 children. Three of them weaned earlish (5 months) and by 8 months were having a balanced diet of 3 meals a day plus snacks, drinks from a cup and 3 breastfeeds a day (evening, morning and lunchtime). were also sleeping through.

One of them, (my third), was a complete different kettle of fish. At 8 months he still showed no sign of wanting to wean. Believe me, we tried everything.

We managed his first proper meal at about 10 months and only really ate like the others at about 12/13 months. So in his case I was breastfeeding on demand, also through the night, until he was 1.. and it was exhausting.

By 15 months he dropped the breasfeeding altogether. The others dropped it at around 10 months.

So if my case is anything to go by, following a child's lead is generally a good idea. Not sure this helped anyone xx

I can see where you're coming from with your OP, totally.

Both of my chidren have taken to solids with extreme enthusiasm, moving from baby porridge/purees in the course of a week or so and then straight onto roast dinners, bread cheese and salad, spag bol, whatever we're eating, and in hug quantities.

With DD1 I did wonder whether I was "supposed" to restrict her solids in order to force her to take more milk but (not having anxiety on the issue - that must be very hard for you) I decided that it would be silly to stop giving food that a baby was eating with enjoyment and gusto.

I can't remember how many feeds DD1 had but DD2 dropped to 2 feeds a day at about 9 months and has been on 1 feed a day since 10 months (BF).

All children are different and the guidelines are tailored to catch one end of teh scale. There will be lots of babies who don't take to solids that well, or do it later, or don't like or are allergic to animal dairy products, or turn their noses up at anything except pureed carrot, or have small appetites, or are sick a lot, or whose parents don't give them very nutritious foods. For all of those babies, the guidelines of "loads of BM or formula up to 12 months" will be a huge help and will mean that the babies get all the nutrition they need for a reasonable time ie the first year.

Be led by your baby. Everything will be fine

(Forgot to mention that DD1 is v healthy and strapping and healthy etc at nearly 3 and DD2 (just turned 1) seems very cheerful too!)

Is it should be??

I thought it was 'can be'... So people wouldn't stress if it took a while to introduce solids.

huge not hug

And i second CBT as really good for anxiety please do try and get some help with this.

i queried to this too, were you milk bar thread?

anyway you know what I AM NOT EVEN GOING THERE

i am still bruised from the EBF thread

Thanks for your posts everyone - I'm going to take the stance of letting DS lead me. He loves his solids so will continue giving him as much as he wants of that, and will offer the milk and try not to get het up if he doesn't want it... He looks the picture of health so I need to remember that when I get worried...

porcamiseria yes I was milk bar thread. Don't really understand the rest of your post - sorry!

Babies are all different and none of them can read. I think its best to follow their lead.

Some children say their first word at 9 months where as other children say their first word at 2 years old. Some children walk early others walk late.

There are no definitive answers with baby care which is why all the health professionals you have spoken to say different things. Not all children follow growth curves.

should add that mine had water in a tippee cup with meals from 6 months as well, so no concern about dehydration. And gave them breast milk on demand. So I think they just took what they needed IYSWIM.

Some will take to solids quicker than others and that is not a bad thing

As of yesterday he is drinking water from a beaker really well

As for CBT I had a few sessiona bout 5 years ago and they were great, I've used what I learnt ever since. However having a baby has opened up a whole new world or worry and I've fallen off the waggon a bit.

I did have a bit of a breakthrough on Weds when I let DS go on a communal bit of carpet. He was really struggling to get off my knee and play with his friends and I was like "What am I scared of?? Just the fact that I've been brought up with the fact children do not get put on the carpet, have to have a clean blanket down....but why?? ok he isn't going to catch anything, the worst thing would be that he'll be upset if he can't play with his friend...." Inner wrangle went on for 10 mins, but I put him down and he crawled off happily, and I was very proud of myself!!!

Well done fiona that is great

It certainly sounds like you are really suffering with your anxiety though - I never had any at all before I had the children and then during my 2nd pg I became very ill with it. I do think it is well worth looking into getting some more CBT - I have just finished mine and it was great.

Sounds like you are well aware of when you are being irrational about stuff (although from my experience that doesn't help much!) and it is great that you were able to let your baby go off for that play. Babies are actually very robust, and normal contact with germs/dirt is good for the immune system. I really do wish you well

Fiona, well done

I have to say I ed at the carpet thing. I have 2 dogs and a cat and DS was weaned on pet hair

I do know I'm bonkers I was never like it as a child - I was always on at my Mum not to be daft, how could she seriously think x, y and z were dangerous?? But it obviously got in to me somehow... I just don't know what is "normal". It was such a rule for me growing up that babies can't go on the carpet, that I really didn't know it wasn't something everyone avoided!!!

I also let him touch my feet (another no-no) and I wear flip-flops (banned).

Bring on the CBT!!

Your mum sounds like she has a lot of issues surrounding this stuff it's not surprising that now you have a baby it has all come to the fore.

What I do is look around at what other people are doing and they are fine and so my safety behaviours are therefore silly. So if at playgroup, the other parents aren't going to be taking any unnecessary risks with their children, so it's a case of trying to go with what they are doing rather than sitting there and getting into a frenzy tihnking they're all mad and how on earth could they let that happen and so on. It is so much easier said than done though isn't it.

I know that there are anxiety support groups on MN - if you look in the mental health section or post there, you will find loads of people who have been through / are going through similar

Have been feeling guilty throughout this thread because dd was shovelling solids like nobody's business by 12 months and had completely lost interest in the breast.

Yes, she was having follow-on milk and at 12 months we introduced dairy milk, but given the amount of solids she was putting away, I'd be surprised if the milk was the main part of his diet.

it seems to me as though some babies are just like that - more interested in food than others. I'm sure if it's the baby's decision then it's fine but there seems to be an opinion that babies should be on 3 meals a day and off most milk by 12 months - i think if the parent tries to enforce this then it's a problem

Hi, there was a thread about extended breastfedding and the ladies there had very strong opinions!

anyway, you seem to have had somne good advice here which is cool, you do sound a tad anxious but you are not the first, and not the last!

I went back to work FT at 6 months and stopped BF, so you can imagine what my answer would be!

Sounds like you're doing just fine OP ime some babies lose interest in milk a lot sooner than others. DS2 has just self-weaned at 14m (and eats like a horse) whereas DS1 ate like a sparrow (still does) and only stopped BFing when I weaned him at 20m because I was pg and it hurt too much!

Hope you can get some good support to beat your anxiety. Good luck

"I'm sure if it's the baby's decision then it's fine but there seems to be an opinion that babies should be on 3 meals a day and off most milk by 12 months - i think if the parent tries to enforce this then it's a problem"

stealthpolarbear I like this way of thinking of it. I guess just another way really of saying follow the baby. My DS eats like a horse, and at first I was told to push his solids at the expense of his milk at 5mo, but it did seem to be what he wanted to do anyway. I did resist that advice slightly and keep up the milk, but he started tailing off the daytime feeds anyway.

I should probably start another thread in mental health section, but fear if we're all over-anxious in there, we may end up egging eachother on and in a worse place? So could you kind ladies please tell me whether I should be so worried about letting my DS go on the grass? I freak when he crawls off the picnic mat, in case a cat has walked there and there's faeces?! I always check for poo, but what if there's a smidgeon I can't see? Is this a normal worry or should I just go for it??

Hi fiona I'm a bit about letting my DS on the grass in our garden but that's because we have foxes who poo everywhere and the grass is a bit long so I don't always see it. In the park I let him wander about, just stop him from eating the grass/stones etc etc.

go for it

as long as you are with him nothing will happen

if it makes you feel better you can give his hands a wee wash when you go back in

it will be good for him to crawl on the grass, different texture, different everything to explore

have you considered practising taking 'safe risks' to make you feel more confident - letting him crawl on the lawn could be one of these

i'm sorry i think i've missed a big chunk of this thread about anxiety issues.
Re the grass - I think you just need to give it a quick glance and relax. I do know how you feel but once they get older there'll be much less you can actually do.

About the milk / eating ratio, DS would have ebf for about the first 18 months if I'd let him, he barely ate and fed loads. He's getting better - eats well but not a wide variety. DD is eating really well and at 9 months has dropped her feeds significantly - to the point where I sometimes realise when she's crying at say 11am that I haven't fed her since during the previous night. At the time i was very very stressed about DS but now, knowing it has turned out ok i feel a lot better about it.

This thread has brought back so many memories of the first 6 months of my DD life its unbelievable. I stressed about not being able to BF, then stressed about her not liking FM either, then stressed about everything. I had high blood pressure during pregnancy and was on beta-blockers after.

Move forward to her being nearly 15m and now she eats everything and anything.....is an adventurous eater and I realise how unhappier I was then compared to now.

Thankfully my HV was fab and supportive and told me that if DD was hungry then she would eat, if she wanted milk she would drink it.

She pretty much dropped to 2 bottles a day once once she started solids and the HVs were worried.

Her last FM feed was on the night of her 1st birthday and now has 2 feeds per day 9oz of full fat milk, at nursery they offer a further 4oz sometimes she takes it sometimes she doesn't.

I guess what i'm trying to tell you is, take heed in the fact that you are making leaps and bounds into breaking a cycle that has been instilled in you, it's hard but you CAN and WILL do it, you are stronger than you can possibly imagine and as one other wise MNer told me whilst in the midst of all of this.......this too shall pass...stay strong

Thanks kingbeat, it's great to hear that everything works out. Gives me hope I'll get through it.
Would you believe I actually am quite sensible generally, have had a great education blah blah, professional job - yet these lat few months have almost caused me to disintegrate. I never thought having a baby would be like this - so hard, but yet, he is everything to me. I think it makes the fear of something happening to him all the worse.

You know, I was just talking to my mum about this thread as well and we both reminised (sp?) about the time from when I had to oooooh probably about 4 months ago and every little thing would send me into a whirling panic. the thought of being a strong person in our life before we had children is particularly poinient as we then go back to being in a helpless state. Top that with havig information overload and not knowing what the right thing to do and you have a brain meltdown like no other before!

Someone once said that the first few years of their first childs life was exhausting as when you put them to bed you thought "well, kept them alive for another day!" I think the responsibility of being responsible for another persons life and well being is such a strain on us all, that noone ever thinks to discuss this whilst you are pregnant, certainly, the midwife that dealt with me and the antenatal classes that i attended only dealt with pregnancy and childbirth and felt like that once I had given birth, it was an "off you fuck now love" attitude. I live in a highly populated area of london with people who have an obviously greater need for resources of the NHS than I, but I DO feel that this is an area that is greatly lacking.

If youve been having CBT, then well done you...I've had it for a completely unrelated case and found it was a turning point in my whole life.......