For laughing at DW when she broke her arm

[Jasonthunderpants]

The silly moo was ironing the curtains in the kids bedroom and she fell out of the window and broke her arm
She is a bit dizzy,only last week she set the alarm clock for 6 and there is only 4 of us

Bloody hell these lot are quick to attack, aren't they?

But love, they really were shit jokes.

Have some more.

There once was a king who lived in two-story grass hut. Every holiday the king demanded to be given a new throne as a gift. As soon as a new throne arrived, he would store the old throne on the second level of his hut and use the new one instead. But one day the hut collapsed from the weight of all the thrones, and everyone was crushed and killed.

The moral of this story? Those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

and

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: ?A beer please, and one for the road.?

and

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: ?Does this taste funny to you??

and

?Doc, I can?t stop singing ?The Green, Green Grass of Home.?
?That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.?
?Is it common ??
?Well, It?s Not Unusual.?

i have many more...

once when she was ironing I snook into the other room and phoned her mobile and she answered the iron and burned her ear

Ha Ha she looked like Vincent Van Gough with a big bandage on her head

Jt - that is cerap. Try Harder

No it was Sainsburys

what really pisses me off is the thought of the man in charge of mixed peppers having a laugh at my expense
I can see him now sat in his leather armchair with a scotch in one hand and a big fat cigar in the other and a smug look on his big fat face and he is laughing at me and saying to himself
"Ha Ha that is another bag of green peppers I have got rid of to some poor sap"

oooooooooh I am getting worked up now

what is the green pepper story then

Oh, that's bloody hillarious! It's the one about a bag of mixed peppers that were mostly green ones or something. And she counted them, or weighed them or something (my memory is shocking) and is outraged at the percentages. I think I love her.

I got a bag of mixed peppers and the majority where green
on the bag the percentages where as follows
34% green
33% red
33% yellow
about 80% where green and I got cross

Jason - why do you have to wait until your DW is out before you can weigh the peppers and calculate the percentages ? Does your DW not know your issues in the pepper department? You do realise you should never keep secrets, don't you?

(scottishmummy - he was hacked off the other day because his mixed frozen peppers comtained more green than they should have done. He was robbed of yellow and red. A valid complaint, most felt)

LOL the contents were most disappointing were they

ARE YOU MAD
i have to wait untill she is out otherwise she might think I am a bit odd

Does Mrs JP iron your underpants?

I only know dirty jokes or I would join in as well the perils of growing up with an older brother I am afraid..

Jasonthunderpants - I actually laffed i have a crap sense of humour like you and i cant help it,but if someone tells a joke not a snigger,smirk Nooooothing.

As for calling your wife a 'silly moo'disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourslef.

two drums and a symbal fell down a hill.....
Duh Dum Tschhh!