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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not an AIBU or maybe it is

38 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 16:15

DS1 has gone out for the first time with the YIT and I am worried sick.

He is off with this man in this mans car to a park for a walk around and a chat......or maybe bowling and a chat.

He won't be back until 6 - 6.30....

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 01/07/2010 16:21

Sorry, what's a YIT? I assume this is someone who's been thoroughly checked out if he's taking your DS out one-to-one in an official capacity.

diamondsandtiaras · 01/07/2010 16:33

no idea what a YIT is.........

SagacityNell · 01/07/2010 16:37

Youth In TRaining?
Young Irritating Twat?

Nope no idea

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 01/07/2010 16:38

Is he alone with this man or are there other children involved. He must have been CRB checked if he is in a position of responsiblity with kids.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 16:41

Youth intervention Team - to prevent DS1 getting involved in crrime.

he works with the council and his face is all over the net ( the mans not ds1)

OP posts:
activate · 01/07/2010 16:42

yes you're being unreasonable

and if you were going to be this worried why did you approve it

and if it was a woman would you be this worried?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 16:43

I would be worried either way!!!

For all his bravado he is still only a little boy and left here looking positivly petrified

OP posts:
slushy · 01/07/2010 16:48

I had a YIP lady when I was a teenager she was great really helped me and we still talk now .

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 16:51

Slushy, I am so so worried....bear in mind it is only since September he has ventured to school without me.

my nerves are shot right now!

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 01/07/2010 16:53

So, I'm guessing someone has been worried about your DS? And suggested this guy would be a good role model, person to talk to, etc? I'm sure its scary seeing your son go off with someone you don't know, but he's just like a teacher, or football coach, or lots of other men who a boy might be chatting to about life and stuff. A sort of honorary uncle, maybe?

Mumcentreplus · 01/07/2010 16:53

Hey TLE

I dont think YABU well maybe a little, I would worry if it was the first time too, but I'm sure he'll be fin e

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 16:55

AMIS, yes I am the one who is worried and asked for their help.

doesn't stop me being worried now he is off with him though!!

MCP...how ya doing??? yes it is the first time and only 3rd time we have all met.

OP posts:
slushy · 01/07/2010 17:01

The lady I had was better trained and more efficient at communicating with me when I was being difficult. Also it was great talking to someone of a similar age I was 15 at the time she was 21. Your ds will behave totally different with the man and come home looking much happier .

I had been accompanied everywhere to TLE and it did me the world of good to be able to relax you have done the right thing try to relax .

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 17:05

Slushy thats my problem- when my babies are not with me i don't relax.

And it doesn't matter how many times we are at logger heads he is still my baby.

But I really hope he is having a nice time and comes home happier. This surely can only help.

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 01/07/2010 17:07

How old is he?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 17:12

he is 11

OP posts:
waitingforbedtime · 01/07/2010 17:23

I can understand you being a little apprehensive. For all the bravado 11 year olds are still only little arent they? You can see it in their eyes sometimes I think if you know what I mean?

Maybe Im reading too much into it but when you say 'when my babies are not with me I dont relax' do you mean ever? Just try and enjoy any time you get to have a bit of peace! Maybe thats something you need to work on?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 17:35

WFB if i know the people the DS's are with then I am relaxed but if they are going into the unknown without me thats a whole different ball game lol

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 01/07/2010 17:37

What about school though...?

slushy · 01/07/2010 17:40

I think that maybe you need to get some councilling to theladyevenstar because pretty soon your ds is going to be of a age where he needs some time unaccompanied and to deny him I feel will probably make him worse.

I realize it is hard for you I have seen some of your other posts but I think that you also need somewhere to turn to hope I don't offend.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 17:41

Lady - from reception to yr 6 he was in a school where my mum works and the staff had known me for years

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 17:42

Slushy atm the only reason he doesn't go out aside from school unaccompanied is because he cannot be trusted.

I am hoping working with these people are really going to make a difference.

IMO and for where I live it is going to be a while before he goes out alone.

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 01/07/2010 17:52

Hope this doesn't sound rude but - have you spoken to the YIT about a parenting course?

As if your son is struggling with trust issues etc and you are clearly quite protecttive of him, maybe it might help you to find new strategies and ways of dealing with the behaviour you don't like and to combat the emotions you are experiencing when he is away from you.

slushy · 01/07/2010 17:53

Even so the day will come sooner or later whether it is 15 or 18, just because it is not today does not mean you should not prepare for it because I think you will find it hard even if he starts to behave a lot more trustworthy.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2010 18:08

Lady its HIM who cannot be trusted because he wanders off, steals and lies so much.

I would be more than happy for him to go out with friends if he wasn't doing these things.

I am waiting for parenting classes tbh

OP posts: