Not an AIBU or maybe it is

[TheLadyEvenstar]

DS1 has gone out for the first time with the YIT and I am worried sick.

He is off with this man in this mans car to a park for a walk around and a chat......or maybe bowling and a chat.

He won't be back until 6 - 6.30....

Yes I understood that - so you maybe need more effective ways of dealing with that behaviour as being protective of him isn't working and is having the opposite effect on him, and maybe he is taking the piss knowing that you have a tendancy to perhaps be a little emotional?

Actually when I was a troublesome teenager if given trust I behaved trustworthy but if treated like a child I behaved like one. Children behave how they are taught to I am not saying jump off the deep end but maybe try giving a little (not enough to hurt himself)and see how he reacts .

Maryz, they are kind of like the buddy/big brother system running in other countries.

They went bowling and he had a good time, started talking but when he came home he was back to normal.....

Maryz, DS1 would be the same. ATM it is only chucking a few stones with mates and nicking penny sweets, but I have not raised him that way and am not prepared to watch him slip through the net so to speak.

And I say only as it could be so much worse!!

Lady - where/how did you find out about your YIT, I'm wondering if this might be an approach I could try with my 11 almost 12 yr old DS?

I am not getting into an argument over whether he was forced to grow up.Circumstances cannot be changed, he was not given too much control. He was asked his opinion on some things but thats just how things were.

His sperm donors actions had a lot to do with the way he is and I will not take all the responsibilty for it.

This thread was NOT about his behaviour but about me being nervous about him having gone out with someone I have only met 3 times.

I know ladyevenstar I was not talking to you with my last two posts I just hate when people disregard all I have two say and laugh at me, my earlier advice was genuinely trying to help. I am sorry I posted that now because I have kept my past hidden I will get them removed do you know how I do that.

Maryz I know I am sorry to have jumped down your throat of course I don't know the inns and outs of every situation I don't normally comment on this sort of thread with troubled teens as I am over emotional in this issue. Thanks for being understanding.