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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that just because my dog is big, doesn't mean that he's going to eat my friends baby on sight?

103 replies

MrsRhettButler · 01/07/2010 16:05

hi, i just need some perspective....

i'm doing my friend a favour, (hair and make-up for a wedding) and she refuses to come to my house because i have an american bulldog.
all of my make-up stuff is at my house, i have to cook dinner and a lot to do which would be easier if i didn't have to spend half the afternoon/evening driving to and from her house.

my dog can be put in a cage or in the garden (which i would obviously do before she came) but she is saying that she won't come and her dh won't let the baby into my house!

my dog has never shown signs of being aggressive towards visitors and i have no intention of letting my dog anywhere near her baby

the more i think about it the more pissed off i feel because it seems that she doesn't trust ME

i have agreed to go to her house but now i wish i hadn't as it is putting me out and i feel there is not really a valid reason for her feelings seeing as my dog will be locked out/in

aibu or is she?

i have to go out for most of the evening but will be back later, any opinions would be gratefully received thanks

OP posts:
ShinyAndNew · 01/07/2010 19:32

I was wondering how long it would take

Missus84 · 01/07/2010 19:33

It's sensible to keep any dog, even the cutest, fluffiest little lap dog, separated from children - especially those it's not familiar with.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/07/2010 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lemonysweet · 01/07/2010 19:41

Still giggling at Shiny's 'what dogs eat' post.

claig · 01/07/2010 19:46

maybe the fact that the OP's dog answers to the name of Gnasher is making her friend somewhat uneasy.

Booboobedoo · 01/07/2010 19:51

She's being a banana.

Dogs are baby-eating killers, though. Look.

plantsitter · 01/07/2010 19:53

How old is the baby though? Has everyone forgotten the terrifying fear that SOMETHING is bound to happen to the baby? Like not going too near tall bookcases, not putting the moses basket near open window in case ooh I dunno a squirrel comes in and molests it, and flinching every time anyone puts their hand in not quite the right place on its head? Or was that just over-anxious me?

I do remember my dad and I taking my 2 week old nephew out for a walk and considering turning around because there was a dog on the horizon. And that was a small collie or similar.

On the other hand, if she's frightened she should just say so and find someone else to do her makeup!

hmc · 01/07/2010 19:55

She is being very unreasonable - given that you have given assurances re keeping the dog in his cage or out in the garden.

melikalikimaka · 01/07/2010 20:03

She'll come around when she finds out how much it costs at the beauty parlour and hairdressers.

shockers · 01/07/2010 20:03

IvyKaty... I had the same thought. I have a dog myself but I wouldn't get ready for a 'do' at my Mum's house because her dogs pong and I come out smelling of doggie when I visit.

lemonysweet · 01/07/2010 20:51

plantsitter
"not putting the moses basket near open window in case ooh I dunno a squirrel comes in and molests it"

that happened to my DD

plantsitter · 01/07/2010 22:35

Mean! I totally believed you for a few seconds there and felt really guilty!

Vallhala · 01/07/2010 22:42

Snobear, nowhere has the OP said her dog is dangerous or in need of crating. Quite the opposite in fact! The OP offered to crate the dog for the benefit of the friend's peace of mind, thats all.

The danger is in the imagination of the friend, not in the dog.

Sorry to repeat myself but, well, really!

lemonysweet · 01/07/2010 22:48

sorry plantsitter.
couldnt resist!

Lindax · 01/07/2010 23:04

not sure if yabu

in OP you say "my dog can be put in a cage or in the garden (which i would obviously do before she came)" - did you actually say to friend you would crate the dog or have you assumed its obvious? when you said you'd crate the dog, did she still say she wasnt coming because of the dog?

maybe it was obvious to you and not her or her dh and its just a misunderstanding?

CheerfulYank · 01/07/2010 23:13

YANBU as you've offered to put it out. The nerve of some people, I tells ya!

Original poster
MrsRhettButler · 02/07/2010 00:04

its their 5th child so not pfb!

thank you everyone for your posts,

she is actually a very good friend of mine and i don't mind doing her favours but i got my dog around the same time her son was born and she has only been to my house once since then (with ds but he was in a carseat) he is now 8 mnths, no smell in our house as we have wooden floors and leather sofas, i know its her dh as well as her because he is very pfb about all of his 5 children!

snobear my dog does not need to be caged and he is not a weapon, he only has a cage because it is a good way for them to learn house training as puppies he's only 11 mnths, i offered to cage him or put him in garden as i know how she feels (she doesn't mind my little staffy btw its just because he is big and obviously a baby eater)

i have never even tried to reassure her that 'my dog wouldn't harm a fly' because its pointless and i am vigilant with him whoever comes to my house

i am going to stick to our arrangement this time because i said i would but i am actually offended that she won't come even if he is out of the way... the last time she came he stayed in the garden the whole time so she has no reason to believe i won't keep my word

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsRhettButler · 02/07/2010 00:05

and yes, we have had the conversation and i have made it clear he would be locked away

OP posts:
GloriaSmut · 02/07/2010 02:43

You have a "little staffy" and an American Bulldog? Only I suspect that this combination of breeds is unlikely to put her mind at rest, reasonable or unreasonable.

thumbwitch · 02/07/2010 03:57

I can see her point IF she would be bringing the baby AND:

  1. there was dog poo in your house (not likely at all)
  2. there is dog hair all over your house AND they have a history of allergy to dogs OR this new baby has bad eczema.

If it's an elf'n'safety thing that the DH is concerned about, I can see it. But if neither of the above apply then she is being selfish/lazy.

BeerTricksPotter · 02/07/2010 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LittleSilver · 02/07/2010 11:38

OK, first off, I hate all dogs and think they should be shot.

That said. YOU are doing HER a favour (a big one) and have offered to shut dog out. Tell her she comes to yours or forget it. YANBU.

hmc · 02/07/2010 11:42

"OK, first off, I hate all dogs and think they should be shot.2

Oh, I absolutely agree, anything / anyone you don't like should be exterminated

Original poster
MrsRhettButler · 02/07/2010 13:28

wow littlesilver, but thanks for the honesty

combination of breeds has nothing to do with it, this lady has been my friend for 18 years, she knows i am not a staffy wielding thug so its totally irrelevant

and as beer says, they are VERY family friendly breeds if trained correctly,
a poodle could kill a child if it wasn't properly trained!

OP posts:
GloriaSmut · 02/07/2010 15:51

""this combination of breeds" is loyal, loving, extremely trainable and a pleasure to own if you are a responsible dog owner. Which OP obviously is.Save us from knee-jerk "read it in the Daily Mail" bollocks! "

I don't read the Daily Mail - in fact it is not allowed in this house - but I do have dogs. Which is why I still think it reasonable to suggest that, for someone who is not as experienced or comfortable in the company of dogs might find the combination of a Staffy and an American Bulldog rather overwhelming. If you read my post you'll see that I qualify this by saying "whether or not this is unreasonable" because I am not the OP's friend and do not hold the same views. We all know that many good dogs have been demonised by stereotypical reactions but unfortunately you have to suck that up if you choose to own those breeds.