to not have bought my hubby a tag watch when I got my engagement ring?

[whoodoo]

Been married 5 years but this bone of contention has raised it's head a couple of times - most recently after a friend's wedding last weekend where my hubby found out his new wife had, as a gift to him, put down a downpayment on a really expensive watch.

Hubby has 'joked' a couple of times that he should have been given a TAG watch at point of engagement as a trade off for my engagement ring (and more recently my eternity ring. Now my engagement ring & eternity weren't expensive (we're not megabucks) and I'd never heard of this tradition but he seems to think he's missed out.

Personally I think he's being a bit silly as to me it's not a standard thing is it? Anyway with me being on mat. leave and a mortgage to pay and three little mouhts to feed I hardly think we have the money for a TAG watch (and he already has, in my opinion, a perfectly good - and rather expensive watch on his wrist anyway).

AIBU??

PS incidentally I did buy him a wedding present (I think) but don't think it was of much monetary value.

How strange! I know that people do this and it is a lovely gesture, but only if you can afford it! Luckily the husband already has a Breitling so I obviously got let off this bit. I don't blame you for being a bit , presumeably he chose to buy you the rings, he doesn't get to lay down terms after!

Oh God, are you married to my XH? He was exactly like this - he went on about the watch he was entitled to for the whole 11 years we were married!

It eventually took all the pleasure out of buying him gifts as I was always made to feel they weren't quite good enough.

Hah. My DH jokes about getting an "engagement Porsche" to match my engagement ring.

Mind you, I don't actually have an engagement ring so he hasn't got much of a leg to stand on!

I have never heard of this before!!

People are just coming up with presents for everything now aren't they? According to my some I should have had an eternity ring on my first wedding anniversary and further "push presents" at the birth of my 2 children!

Admittedly it would have been nice but I certainly didn't expect it and was not hurt when they did not materialise.

I've heard of some men wanting engagement rings but never demanding expensive watches as pay-offs!!

I bought my husband a new watch when we got engaged. He wanted something (so as not to feel left out I think) however his watch was £100 ish. We did get it in Malaysia though so got more for our money.

YANBU at all! This is news to me about getting your DH a watch when you get engaged! My DH wouldn't have wanted one anyway - or anything else. I guess if you can afford it then yes it's a nice thing to do, but not if it's going to cripple you financially - expecially if you have to save for a wedding.

I bought DH some lovely silver cufflinks for a wedding present which were expensive (for cufflinks) and he was very happy with them.

If your DH really wants one, why don't you suggest that you'll save for one, but that it will take a long time to do so, and he won't get any presents for birthday etc in the meantime?

Blimey I didn't know about this watch giving malakey!!
It never crossed my mind. But there again we didn't have engamenent rigns or even bother with wedding rings so I don't get it.

WTF!

never heard of this! ever!!!
i did get dh a more expensive birthday gift than usual after getting engaged but that was it.

however i'm a bit as a friend told me that you are meant to get an eternity ring after having the first dc. never even thought about having one but now i want one!

Ha ha, I promised my husband a diamond hat after receiving a (very beautiful and expensive) engagement ring. He still mentions that he doesn't have his diamond hat when I hint (jokingly) at wanting more expensive presents. Apparently the ring is my lot! I got him some fancy cufflinks with a tiny diamond in them for a wedding present, he gave me a much more modest present as I already had the ring. He certainly would never demand a tag watch! If you are obliged to get an expensive present back, it kind of negates the gesture doesn't it?

Does your husband do alot of diving as this is what they are for. They are also expensive (about 1k)
He has you, this has got to be the best gift he'll ever get

When you say 'joked' do you mean 'laughingly asked for.. but knows it will never happen' or ' actually, I really want this'

cos I think its kind of hard to tell without actually hearing him iykwim.

Fwiw I have never heard of this practice before, but if you can afford it then I thinkits a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

I do know someone who bought her DH a Tag watch when they got engaged, but they are not short of money at all.

DH didn't get, or ask for anything

I bought my DH a nice watch, not megabucks and not as dear as my ring.
It was a surprise, although I took him along to choose.
He certainly didn't expect a gift or feel entitled.

My DH bought me the engagement ring and then an eternity ring when DS was born. In return he has gained our lovely son and my wonderful self, for which he has never been sufficiently grateful so I think it's a fair exchange

I don't get why you would get an eternity ring after 1 year of marriage - its not that long is it?

I thought that. An eternity should be loner than 12 months surely!

DH and I each have a wedding ring, each other, and the 3 DCs

I didn't buy DH a watch or anything else when we got engaged, and our wedding presents were the wedding rings. No eternity ring here either.

I heard different things about eternity rings - either after a year or when the first child was born. It was thus highly convenient that DS was born a few weeks after our first anniversary!

I don't know what the real tradition is, just that the ring is mighty pretty

I was always told buy DH was bad luck - something about time going slow - or wathcing time.... I dunno - so for a wee pressie when we got engaged I got him some PC parts - How romantic!! LOL!!

That is exactly what i bought DH when he bought my engagement ring, seemed a bit unfair otherwise.
I have my eye on a lovely eternity ring for our 10th wedding anniversary and he's having an upgraded Tag apparently.

My husband didn´t get an engagement present.

I thought an eternity ring was when you had your first baby-that would have been 42weeks into the marriage for me!

Well, he didn´t have an engagement present, I don´t have an eternity ring-we´re all square!

I think if you can afford it, why not? The expectation is wrong but at the same time, it's wrong for women to expect an engagement/eternity ring.

When DH and I got married, we had zero money. We got married with Titanium rings as that was all we could afford. Seven years down the line, financially we are a lot more comfortable. He's bought me several items of jewellery, bags and shoes that I have wanted. My parents bought him an Omega watch when we got married. I bought him a limited edition Tag watch when I went on a holiday once to see a girlfriend because I knew he would love it. He's since bought himself nicer watches because it's the one thing he has a passion for.

We have got the Onega watch my parents gave him all serviced and cleaned up so it's like new. It's a classic and the intention is to give it to DS1 for his 18th birthday as it's got sentimental value... So in my case, I think why not if you can afford it and it makes your DH happy! But not if they expect it and keep asking for it...