to wonder what exactly is in the Queen's handbag?

[BarkisIsWilling]

Or should I just mind my own?

gosh wouldn't her majesty be a marvellous person to have for a webchat

MayorNaze, someone would mention bumsex, and then she'd leave in disgust.

Funny though

I have heard that she is very fond of her iPod so maybe she keeps that in there too so she can listen to it in the car.

"AIBU to be feeling paranoid that DS1 is hoping I will die soon?"

mace
taser
knuckle duster
spliff
latex gloves

I think she has a Secret Other Life

Hugh Hefner bobble-head doll
Broken biro
KFC wet wipe
Safety pin
Half-sucked and hastily-removed Extra Strong Mint stuck to the lining.

I stood next to her at Royal Ascot once, and I swear it's all true.

small collection of voodoo dolls and a packet of pins

Her Majesty never goes out without a copy of Heat mag in her handbag. I've heard the "hoop of horror" is her favourite page. She sits in the back of the Daimler chortling at Kate Moss's real-life manky teeth and dodgy roots.

Tena Lady and Parma Violets.

"AIBU to be feeling paranoid that DS1 is hoping I will die soon?"

I genuinely LOL at that Would all the posters have to use dead posh language when telling her to get oneself a life, and don't let the palace door hit you on the way out

And that's before she starts the "Daughter in Law from Hell" threads.

We'd all be:

"What? She went on TV to say that your DS was horrible and unfaithful? And I thought mine dissing me on Facebook was outrageous. And as for the other one! Charging people to see your other DS! Blimey HorseyMumOf4 your sons can't half pick 'em."

A cotton handkerchief and a tin of mint imperials. Maybe a little bottle of Penhaglion Bluebell perfume

Half a brick in a sock.

whoppie cushions

A big fat spliff

doh! someone beat me to the Tena Lady!

Picture of Lady Di and hip flask .

And a note saying ' IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES CONTACT CHARLES TEL NO .....'

Alouiseg - No that's just what she smells of

Lavender scented tissues from Liberty
A collection of broken fountain pens (NOT biros)
Rennies
Dog whistle
Limited-edition plasters with horse hoof prints on them.

The Queen Mother used to have an ear trumpet, I swear.

A book for translating northern dialect into the queens english for when she meets us more common regular folk

The QM ear trumpet story rings a bell (lol)

at this time of year:

Lemsip
Crossed-out Christmas gift list
Mints?

I thought I read some years ago that she carried spare gloves, Pears soap in a container (it's all she uses, apparently) and some tissues/a hanky.

But am lol at some of the suggestions on here!

ha, I also thought Tenalady & spare knickers.

A gun.