To be angry that my 6 year old son is getting sex education in school?

[xstaceyxcatx]

My 6yr old has just finished up for the holidays on friday and he brought home all his class work from through out the year. Going through it all with him so he could show me how far he has came on etc and how clever he is. Came across some worksheets with drawings of naked children with parts labelled. Am i wrong in being angry that they have vulva next to the girls vagina as clearly its a) the wrong bloody word! and b) a bit too much for children ranging between 5-6? I understand the need to explain that if someone touches a child inappropriatley that they need to tell a grown up but surely if a child was to go to an adult and say for instance a man/ladt touched my wee man/flower or whatever word our children use to describe there bits then the picture would be clear enough??

Any thoughts on this would be helpful

I agree that labelling a vagina as a vulva is wrong.

I do however think that knowing the right terminology is important. DS is 6 and DD 4 and whilst they refer to willies and bits they also know that those parts of their bodies have other names. I woukdn't have a problem with them being taught about it at school although maybe I would assume that parents would be told first.

6 is too young to be going into detail on the mechanics of sex or adult/adolescent sexuality, but hiding names of body parts doesn't help children at all. YABU.

Were you not advised that your DS was going to have these lessons and invited to see the content and/or to a parents' evening to discuss the nature of it? You should also, iirc, as my DC are older and things may have changed, have been given the opportunity to withdraw your child from the class during the SE lessons.

If this is the case and you didn't take the opportunities offered or did and agreed to DS participating in the classes I'm not sure you're reasonable to object.

I'd much rather a six year old knew the real words for things rather than "wee man" or "flower"

YABU.

I think that's science rather than sex ed.

What's wrong with children knowing the real (scientific) names for things?

Formal sex ed doesn't start until Year 2 when they watch the growing up and changing videos which explain how a baby grows, where it grows and how it is made and comes out (no detail - just a lady's seed known as an egg and a man's seed known as sperm)...

Well, YABU as vulva is actually the correct word for the conglomeration of labia/clitoris/fourchette/urethra etc etc - i.e., the "private" area. The vagina is actually just the fleshy tunnel. I am assuming here that the picture was a frontal illustration with arrows pointing to general areas rather than a cross section with internal bits shown or a "legs open" diagram.

Not sure if you are being U about the other bit. There is something a bit hideous about parents who say things like "Oh G-d, we ONLY use the correct termininology, don't we Tarkie?" so possibly you aren't being U.

Good point Boob. AIt may be cute/considered more age appropriate to use twee names but a vagina is a vagina and at some stage a child will need to know the correct terms. After all, how long would you carry on referring to a "flower"? And by way of comparison how long would you carry on using, for example, gee gee instead of horse?

So, on this picture of a naked girl, was the arrow tip actually inside, if it was pointing to her vagina?
Or was it pointing externally to her vulva?

Maybe you should leave the education to the experts!

YABU

It's not like they were handing round condoms and discussing positions.

Just giving the children (boys and girls) the right names for their body parts.

BTW, vulva is the right word to describe a female's external body parts. So unless the picture was a cross-section showing internal organs, they wouldn't have needed to label the vagina.

or "woof woof" for dog - knowing vulva and penis is no more damaging than knowing a dog is a dog and a cat is not a meow

Oops, see HTK got there first.

Snap Awesome - also .

I think you are overreacting. I think there is nothing wrong with using the correct terminology, although I can see why people might want to use another name. I do dislike it when parents refer to "it" as the vagina, when that isn't what they're talking about at all, and I get a class full of girls who think they wee out of their vagina...

Was def not informed of this as i would have been less shocked when i came across the worksheets at home. When i questioned son he said that they get class once a week and are taught things like toilet hygine etc which i understand is neccesary given that the school is in a not so great area and some parents dont think to teach there kids basic hygine.

Also being taught about different family dynamics, relationships etc and when i informed him of my newly discovered pregnancy he told me i couldnt have a baby as the teacher told them you have to be married first!!!

He already knows the proper names for his own bits and i genuinely wouldnt have mided if i'd known but on some level i feel that we should have been informed so that if we felt our kids wee maybe to young to process this then we could have asked for them not to be included. As in the case of his friend from school who just turned 5 and got upset about it.

Why would a 5 year old get upset about labels on a picture saying vulva?

TBH it isn't like he came home in shock from having been told some hideous things, you've discovered some science work in his book and it sounds like it is valid. I'm not a science teacher and was crap at biology but I always thought that vulva was the whole fanny, bits an all. It doesn't sound like sex ed to me, just biology. What, apart from what you thought was wrong with using the term vulva, is wrong with learning about body parts?

Upset about naming body parts? Or about relationships?

DD (also 6) has been doing sex ed recently and has been fascinated by it all.

sounds like PSCHE lessons; pastoral care type stuff, really which is on the National Curriculum

I don't think you're even allowed to remove your child from the scientific part of Sex Ed - you can take them out for the other stuff, however.

Why did his friend get upset by learning the word penis?

"when i informed him of my newly discovered pregnancy he told me i couldnt have a baby as the teacher told them you have to be married first!!!"

I can only hope that your DS misinterpreted what the teacher said. Otherwise, I'd be bloody fuming if I were you.

Mind me asking if you are in England. OP? I'm almost SURE that you should be consulted before SE lessons commence, over here at least.

he was upset about the chat as it was all in relation to if a grown up touches you inappropriatley side of the lesson. My Dc just giggles when things like that are mentioned think its more the fact that it was done without pre warning to parents etc that im annoyed about

What on earth is a 'wee man'?

I do understand your issues though. 6 is young and there should have been correspondence home. And telling children parents are always married sort of suggests that the school is recognising kids aren't ready for the nitty gritty in a class environment aged 6. Otherwise why would they lie and what on earth were they thinking of? if I were unmarried I'd be livid my children had been told that.

I can understand that there may have been some sniggering in class while doing the labelling.

But can't imagine why it would have been upsetting unless there was something else going on?

Children do loads of worksheets at this age, labelling stuff - features on a face; parts of a flower; rooms in a house; parts of a human body. I bet most of them took it in their stride.

If your reaction was one of shock/horror I would worry you have upset him more than the lesson could have. Would be more upset at teacher saying you have to be married! Am also feeling very now as until I was at least 13 I did think I weed out of vagina (you see! I'm the product of no sex ed!)

Would you not have some documents that explain the overall framework of the curriculum for this primary year by the way?

Apologies, I was wrong. This is from the BBC, wrt England:

England

Under the Learning and Skills Act 2000 in England, a school's SRE policy must be available for parents to inspect. Primary schools are not required to teach SRE other than those elements that fall under the Science curriculum. However, they are required to either have a policy on SRE outlining details of their programme or explaining their reasons for not giving one. Primary school children can expect to be taught the names and functions of external body parts, and be informed about puberty before it begins.

In England, the sex education elements of the Science area of the National Curriculum are compulsory for all pupils of primary and secondary school age (7-16). They include biological aspects of human reproduction, anatomy, puberty, uses of hormones to control fertility and how viruses can affect human health.

At a minimum, information about sexually transmitted infection (STIs) and HIV/AIDS will be taught.

Other elements of sex and relationships education are taught as part of a Personal, Social and Health and Economic Education (PHSEE) programme, which may also include subjects such as citizenship and drug and alcohol awareness. However, SRE is not a compulsory part of the national curriculum.

In secondary education, the school governers will be able to provide an up-to-date policy describing the content that your child is taught.

The problem is they can't tell you every single thing they'll be teaching and they DO correspond when the sex and relationships stuff happens (which isn't until year 2)

what your DS has had is PSCHE lessons which cover a plethora of pastoral and general relationship / self care / bullying / friendships / safety stuff and aren't usually considered controversial