To be angry that my 6 year old son is getting sex education in school?

[xstaceyxcatx]

My 6yr old has just finished up for the holidays on friday and he brought home all his class work from through out the year. Going through it all with him so he could show me how far he has came on etc and how clever he is. Came across some worksheets with drawings of naked children with parts labelled. Am i wrong in being angry that they have vulva next to the girls vagina as clearly its a) the wrong bloody word! and b) a bit too much for children ranging between 5-6? I understand the need to explain that if someone touches a child inappropriatley that they need to tell a grown up but surely if a child was to go to an adult and say for instance a man/ladt touched my wee man/flower or whatever word our children use to describe there bits then the picture would be clear enough??

Any thoughts on this would be helpful

Surely the lesson where they tell children about being touched inappropriately is the one lesson parents SHOULDN'T get pre-warning about?

I don't get the argument that you should be able to exclude your child if you disapprove. They don't get taken out of anything else so why should this be any different? I can't help but wonder about the child who got upset - why would a child get upset about learning the names of body parts unless there had been some issue made about it? I'm all for children learning sex Ed in a gradual factual manner. Would be more likely to complain about teaching children you must be married to have children!!

Well as school is now finished i cant even ask as to what was said but he matter of factly stated that you had to be married to have a baby!! So then had to explain that no you actually didnt and that yes lots of people are married but lots of others aren't.

Im in Scotland and genuinely do think im more angry about the lack of notice about this rather than the content that he was taught. As a responsible parent iv already had the correct word/ what to do if someone does something they shouldnt chat. So he wasnt suprised with what he was told. Im not the only parent who has concerns over this and one is actually going to the education board to complain about the lack of communication on this subject.

I blame right-on parents re the weeing out of your vagina thing. Little girls, IME, are interested more in the excretory functions of the nether regions than the reproductive ones. And you get parents who say "Oh we ALWAYS call it the vagina". Grrr.

notice about what though? a science / pastoral care lesson that taught body parts and staying safe?

I am sorry... I just don't understand the concerns the parents have

Well, you are defintely being U now. You DIDN'T know the correct word for the external female genitalia, as evidenced above. And you shouldn't need notice for childen to be taught about body parts unless you think those body parts are innately dirty/sexual for a 5 year old and somehow thing they are wrong and a 5 year old shouldn't know about them. And I certainly don't think parents should be told when their children will be taught about inappropriate touching - they are taught this to help protect them from abuse, which is most likely to be perpetrated by a parents or other well known adult. Kind of defeats the point if you let the potential abuser know in advance when they'll be learning it!

Did he get the married thing from school? Because my DC thought the same until they were disabused of this notion by me and the school. Especially as one of DS's friends has no Dad (donor insemination).

The only reason to give you notice really is to give you the chance to remove the child - which seems an odd option to give under the circumstances, as it's hardly contentious. Your school will be using the CFE guidelines (early) which include stuff like:

"I am developing my understanding of the human body and can use this knowledge to maintain and improve my wellbeing and health."
and
"I am aware of my growing body and I am learning the correct names for its different parts and how they work."

Go to this website if you want to know all the stuff they might be doing!
www.ltscotland.org.uk/curriculumforexcellence/index.asp

He said thats what the teacher said obviously whether this was picked up wrong by said 6 year old and he has completely misheard.

The reason parents are not happy is due to the fact that other schools in the area gave out letters informing parents of theses classes beginning, i have a cousin who's little girl is just finished primary 2 and she wasnt given these lessons so im assuming this is a new introduction to the school curriculum.

Looking at the regulations for Scotland, I think you are justified in being concerned.

Scotland

Currently there is no legal requirement for Scottish schools to teach sex education, although new guidance is being drafted by the Scottish parliament. All schools are encouraged to provide SRE within a programme of personal, social and health education or religious and moral education.

Schools in Scotland providing sex education are expected to:

• take into account each child's age, understanding and stage of development
• work in partnership with parents
• ensure procedures are in place for parents to raise concerns
• consult with pupils
• respect cultural, ethnic and religious differences
• respect the different circumstances and needs of all young people

Parents in Scotland may withdraw their children from their school's sex education programme, but are expected to discuss with the head teacher how they intend to provide it in the home.

---

Clearly your cultural differences as an unmarried mother were not respected and although you have the right to withdraw your child its a bit of a moot point as you were not pre-warned in order to exercise that right if you felt it appropriate to do so. There was no working in partnership with the parents so I hope for their sake they have a procedure in place to enable you to raise your concerns.

We all see this differently - aside from the unmarried parents comment I'd have no issue with the lessons but that's immaterial. What is relevent is that the school has not met the expectations of the Scottish Parliament.

it was "sex" education in the sense of what sex are you? boy or girl? how do they differ?
what do you call the body parts?

it wasn't "how to have sex" was it?

Not sure where that's from but the stuff I quoted is the most up-to-date curriculum we work from in Scotland.

Igg, if you're referring to me (not being rude, just unsure), I took this from the BBCs website, having done a quick Google search. I'm neither in Scotland nor do I work in education and I'm happy to be corrected.

Just had to add a lol to HardertoKidnap and her fleshy tunnel, that sounds lovely and erm, big, ha haa!

I am not against him learning the correct words as he has already been taugh these at home. But im of the mind that this should be a discussion that should be done on a 1 to 1 basis not with 24 other children and 1 teacher who probably cant answer all the questions children may have, especially since it was only covered in 1 hour long lesson. I think that these things should maybe be advised especially if your child comes home and maybe your completley unprepared for this sort of conversation.

I can't see a problem with teaching children the correct name for body parts- are you seriously expecting the word 'flower' to be used in an educational context?

And basic safety and teaching children about personal space is perfectly appropriate for this age group. How you know that frightened another child in the class when you didn't even know the lesson had been taught until way after the event is puzzling me too.

the problem is IMO and from experience in schools (in England so might be a bit different), the worksheets didn't come from true sex education lessons.

How to stay safe and inappropriate touching comes under the PSHE lessons which are done from Nursery in the EYFS through to secondary school, so the fact that you can remove your child from SRE lessons is null and void - because they weren't SRE which usually occurs at 7/8 and 8/9 years old

Sorry, I see this is a serious discussion and has moved on from that post, I think YABU children should know the correct terms for body parts at an age appropriate level, if you don't teach them then they will pick up all sorts of rubbish in the playground.

Stacey, you are all over the place here. First you were annoyed because the word vulva was used and because this labelling was "too much". Then you were completely fine with that but his friend was upset. Then it was because inappropriate touching had been covered. Then that was OK but it should have been done 1-2-1. It obviously has angered/upset you, but you can't put your finger on why, which kind of suggests it might be a bit of a knee jerk - maybe a reaction against your baby being taught these things? Him "growing up"? Either way, the problem is yours, not the teachers.

Because the topic was brought up amongst a group of parents at a birthday party this evening, I was asking if maybe Dc had misplaced a letter informing parents of this as he has been known to forget to lift things from class.

All we are asking is maybe a little notice, if they can tell us what they are learning in math and language then i dont understand why they couldnt have added that to the news leter we get at the beginning of every month.

Stacey you know seem to be saying this needs to be done 1 to 1 which would mean your DS having no part in the school Health and Well-being work. The topics and progression etc haven't fallen off back of lorry, they have been planned to grow with the child iyswim. I don't think you need to worry, though it must be shocking to think for the first time that your little one is going to learn about sex one day! (My DS is never having sex and will live at home with his mummy )
Valhalla not being rude either (hope didn't sound so) just know that CFE is the latest thing due to bloody experience, unfortunately!
Actually this is first day of my hols, why am I looking up school stuff?

I also think it is appropriate that children should know about good touches and bad touches. I have told my kids from the age of about 3 that if they don't want to do anything they don't like then they don't have to (this does not include veggies at dinner time). No one should touch the area under their swimsuits unless the DC's say it is ok, and only a doctor, or mummy and daddy. I had serious words with MIL when she had stupid tantrums when the DC's wouldn't give her a cuddle!

After reading your comments it may just have been shock etc and i prob am being unreasonable, im still new to the whole education side of this and being a young mum i can still remember that it wasnt until much later on that we were taught this sort of thing at school, especially since i attended the same school my Dc attends and we also both had the same primary 1 teacher! so i apologise if i have upset other folk with this but i guess its more to do with shock

Better discussing it on here than running straight into school to complain! (though there's prob a time and a place for running in!)

Igg, of course you weren't being rude.

Happy holidays (and rather you than me, I'll stick to working with animals, much easier!).