to be disturbed that my DD was shown this anti-abortion video

[Tanga]

DD (15) came home saying that she'd been shown a video of 'the baby's view of abortion' in her RE class today. She was pretty horrified (both for herself and on behalf of one of her friends who has had an abortion)which I'd guess would be a fairly typical response, but she went on to make some wildly innacurate comments about the proceedure (some very graphic so I'll spare you) so I asked her what it was she'd actually been shown.

It's called 'The Silent Scream' (written in Hammer horror style lettering) and I've googled it and am fairly appalled. It's (IMO) an anti-abortion piece of propaganda made in the '80's and is riddled with innaccuracies.

Is this a normal video to show a class of teenagers? It was presented as fact, BTW, and as 'the most humane method of abortion' by the RE teacher.

I guess I didn't associate my miscarriage with the baby feeling pain. I miscarried because the baby stopped developing. It had already died. I'm sorry if other people's experiences of miscarriage were different and my post seemed insensitive. It is a terrible thing to go through. I think in some ways it made me even more pro life because the thought of people willfully stopping heartbeats when I spent weeks going for scans looking for the slightest flutter to tell me that my baby was alive really disturbs me. I just think it is such a huge disrespect for life.

I need to finish for the night. I can't go to bed upset.

That's the thing, though, bubbleymummy. They're OTHER people, other people's bodies, other people's foetuses.

I suppose the ultimate question is whether or not you consider the pregnancy to be a baby or a bunch of cells. This might upset you, but I did not consider my pregnancy a 'baby'. It WAS a bunch of cells. It wasn't viable. In any way, definitely. To me, it would be like claiming that an egg or a sperm was a life. It's not. It has the potential to be. But it isn't yet. It's very sad that you had a miscarriage, and I can see why it might colour your views, but surely you can see that you can't judge every woman's decisions about her own body by your own experience?

bubblymummy - I think that is the whole problem with the film. That it's one very narrow minded, inaccurate view of abortion. It's telling people that the poor little foetus feels pain and should not be terminated. But what about those who find themselves in that difficult situation of either losing a baby or knowing it is going to be born and die in pain? What if they remember the film and it makes it harder? Some abortions are done through simply taking a pill and causing a miscarriage.
It's a terrible fact of life that some people make the decision to terminate whilst others are struggling to conceive/carry a baby to term.
Many abortions are for young women who really struggle to make the decision and regret it for many years after.
Adoption doesn't seem to be promoted much these days as many women consider it far easier to terminate than to go through a pregnancy and hand the baby over.
There isn't a happy medium.
And no contraceptive is 100% effective.
If you could remove the unborn-about to be terminated-foetus from a woman and give it safely to one who can't conceive maybe the world could be a happier place?
For now that can't happen and there is no right or wrong answer to whether abortion is right or wrong.
Showing the film though, which is what the OP asked, is definitely wrong and will not help anyone.
How many teenagers, with legs akimbo, their "one true love" about to penetrate, will think ohhhh I saw a hideous film about abortion once?
Many unwanted pregnancies are due to contraception failure (usually user error) rather than lack of contraception. There are also male/female misunderstandings (eg thinking on pill when not).
A month after the teenager with legs akimbo hasn't thought about the film finds out they are pregnant that's when I'm betting the film comes back to mind. Fair? No but life isn't.

Not much here to change anyone's views that pro-lifers are wilfully ignorant, spiteful and unable to mind their own business, then...

That sounds like a horrific video (can't bring myself to watch it) I really hope your DD and her friend are ok.

What an awful thing to show

I'm amazed that video is still doing the rounds. I can't bring myself to watch it again after seeing it at school. Horrible. It's an important discussion topic for teenagers though, if handled sensitively.

Thanks solidgoldbrass.

Btw my miscarriage isn't the only reason I'm pro life. I respect every life that has been created regardless of whether it was wanted or not.

Fcm, that would be a good solution. Who knows, maybe it will be possible in the future.

Shouldn't have come back again really. I know these threads are always dominated by the pro choicers. I guess I just like to try to balance things out even if it means opening myself up to insults Thankfully, in RL I'm surrounded by prolifers.

"in RL I'm surrounded by prolifers." How wonderful that you are supported (genuinely, I mean that) My life is full of pro lifers too. My sisters, my mum, dad, brothers. Friends.

Which is why I had no one to confide in when I found myself pregnant in 2008 with a 5 month old baby to look after. Even when using condoms & the pill, along with EBF. There was NO way I wanted more children & I tried to prevent it. But it happened!

Because I had no one to confide in I really suffered, I had no one to listen to my doubts about a 3rd (unwanted) baby. So it manifested itself in anxiety & depression. Which have only now just started to lift. During the worse times, I considered crashing my car, but I was worried that I would leave my children motherless. My husband was as supportive as possible, but I needed more than that, I needed someone. It was a very lonely place.

I honestly do not think any just don't know that! I was never anti abortion, but never thought it would be something I could do. But faced with it, I had to.

Adoption wasn't a option. There is no way I would be pregnant for 9mths & then hand the baby over. Then what happens when the child gets curious, wants to meet its parents? How do you explain that you went through pregnancy, had 2 wonderful healthy children, but didn't want that one? No, couldn't do that.

Imagine the pain of being told you were unwanted, but still bought into this world. Most of you (hopefully all of you anti abortionists) can't imagine that pain, but I can. Because I was unwanted, and I live with that pain all my life. So there is NO way on this earth I will put that legacy on another. NO way!

"I honestly do not think any just don't know that!"

Missed off half of what I was trying to say there..

I don't understand how anyone can say they would never have an abortion, because I honestly do not think any of you can know that! I was never anti abortion, but never thought it would be something I could do. But faced with it, I had to.

Quite, differentname. By the way, I wish you didn't feel like you had to name change. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

I was shown this at 15. Our RE teacher took us to a Catholic convent for it. To be fair we did also have speakers in from LIFE and from the BPAS, but as the teacher had serious fertility problems and mentioned that she and her husband would keep a baby were she raped and conceived, I can't say she struck me as the most unbiased of sources. My mother was LIVID. It was not a faith school, either.

Complain. Reasoned info on what is a very emotive issue is fair enough, from either side, but manipulative BS to kids is not okay.

SlackSally, differentnameforthis always posts under that name!

Lots of myths on this thread by the prolife camp. Happy to refute some of them, but I wonder if any of them will be happy to admit that the video in question is outright lies?

Or do the prolife camp claim that a 6-12 week-old foetus (the vast majority of abortions happen in the first trimester) feels pain, experiences consciousness and is able to "scream"?

Tanga, I haven't seen all of the video, but please don't be fobbed off with the "both sides of the story" argument.

As a school they have a duty to ensure that information presented as factual is indeed factual to the best of current scientific information - or if not, that it is presented with the necessary caveats. Even in the first few minutes I saw enough dodgy information / emotive language to see that countering all of it would take twice as long as the video itself.

If they start with some bullshit "people can watch both sides and make their mind up" nonsense, I'd ask them whether they throw random untrue "facts" into other lessons as well. Presumably not, because they would be concerned people might go through their lives believing something that is known to be untrue. The same goes for this.

Excuse my french but this is fucking fucking outrageous, i would be beyond livid.

15 year old girls are very impressionable, in the event that one of them was in the situation where they might be considering an abortion (the OP said one in the class had already had one) then having seen this video would make it even harder for them to make what is an agonsising decision.

I had an abortion a long time ago, and whilst i don't regret it now (i think it is easier almost since i have my 2 DDs) i do think about it and if i had seen a video like this (i started watching it on youtube but had to stop a long way before the end as i found the tone of it deeply upsetting) i would have found making the decision even more confusing.

Of course there is no "nice" way to describe an abortion but this is a totally inappropriate way to present the facts of abortion to young girls, the facts on there own are sufficient without sensationalising it and describing how the abortionist never did another one after seeing this film etc etc

facts on their own

I think it is the video I was shown when I was about that age too (maybe just a tad older,17)

It was qite shocking. 20 years on and it did not make me anti-abortion per se but certainly contributed to put me right off ever having one myself.

I can't believe they are showing that film still. We saw it at school aged about 13 ( and were given gold anti abortion pins depicting 10 week old foetus's footprints.) I still remember it vividly aged 37. I did go to a Catholic school however it didn't make me anti abortion.
What I don't understand is that they surely wouldn't show a film that old in years to children about contraception, drug use etc so why this one?

Can't bring myself to watch it after the descriptions on here, but it sounds horrific

Hope your dd is okay.

I would complain.....I read earlier on here that someone said babies under 24 weeks don't feel pain - is that correct ?

I would contact the head and the governors.
This is a one sided bit of rubbish meant to frighten young women in to having babies they do not want.

Onajourney - apparantly scientists have found that the baby's brain is not wired up to experience pain until after 24 weeks here

YANBU
the silent scream is a pile of inaccurate, pro-life wank. I hope you complain. I went to a private catholic school and was shown an anti-abortion vid and told the rhythm method was reliable - but I presume your DD is at a state school? Completely unacceptable - the content has obviously been decided by a teacher with an agenda who will use propaganda and lies to achieve their aim.

Hmmm - well abortions are not pretty and I do think, as the mother of a teenage girl, that they do talk in a very blase way sometimes about what should be a very serious matter.
Showing them an out of date film may not be the best way to educate them about the realities of abortion, but I don't think it does our teenage children any harm to see that yes, abortion does involve the destruction of a foetus, whatever your views about its viability and sentience.

Years ago as a teenager I saw a very disturbing anti-abortion display (not film) at school. It didn't touch my views. My opinions on the matter were formed from my friends (pro woman's right to choose) and my own mother (ditto). However, I respect other points of view. Don't children go to school to learn about different points of view?

I remember that video vividly - we were FORCED to watch it in school, and I sat there, partially indocrinated into all the Catholic church's garbage, ripe for the picking, watching this, with the knowledge that my mother (the master of oversharing) had had an abortion prior to having me, that I was only the product of the rebound relationship after the one resulting in the abortion had failed... therefore cementing into my head about the age of 14 that I was only around because another person had been, as that video put it, murdered. I've never ever got over that line of reasoning to this day. It put a wonderful obstacle in my relationship with my mother as well. It's nice being told aged 14 that your mother's going to hell.

I remember getting in such a state over it all that I ended up being sat outside the school office and given a cup of tea to calm down, but I also remember the look on my RE teacher's face (a nun) of faint triumph that she'd hooked another one into the cause or whatever - it was that look that meant I lost all respect for the Catholic Church whatsoever that day.

Incidentally - it didn't work. I fell pregnant while in an abusive relationship and I did make the choice to have an abortion rather than have a child with a man who raped me and hit me. I did so in the full knowledge that I was ending something that many deem to be alive, committing an act that could be labelled murder and sentencing myself to an afterlife in hell if such a place exists. I also made myself go through some of the more "pleasant" sites on the net prior to making the decision (there are a lot out there preying on women googling in desperation) - yet still knew 100% that I was doing the right thing at the time. I still, despite subsequently suffering infertility with my husband, know that I made the right choice back then - the video didn't work to achieve anything other than distressing me as a child.

Can flame me for the decision I made all you want - that man was violent, adulterous, a rapist and he would have used the fact we had a child to stalk, harrass and control me until he destroyed my life completely. Police were useless when he finally left and robbed the house out, threatened to kill me etc etc etc. I made the choice I had to at the time, in full knowledge of what I was doing and if there is some supreme being out there - I'll stand my judgement at the time it comes.

Thanks SlackSally, but tortoise is right. Differentnameforthis = 'this' being Mn!

I don't feel any shame, we (dh & I) have no regrets. We did what was right for us. And I am pleased that we did what we did. I am not sorry if that upsets anyone, because in al honesty, until they live the life I lived for those 8 weeks, they have no idea about any of it.