to think my husband is a Bad Person for doing this?

[stroppyshopper]

DH caught DS trying to touch an electric fan. He went way beyond the usual "you'll cut your fingers off" lecture, telling him that Kerry from CBeeBees touched a fan and lost her arm. He was really pleased with himself for having come up with this. I am absolutely horrified by his callousness and am having a real "I can't believe I married this idiot" moment. Not to mention that I will be the one fielding the inevitable questions from DS on this tomorrow -- which are sure to be asked in a loud voice, in a public place. I am really .

YANBU your DH is a bad person!

I would talk to your DS asap and explain that basically Daddy made up the story and it isn't true.

He'll probably ask you why Daddy made the story up, and I would say that, on this occasion 'because Daddy is an idiot' would be a justifiable and correct response

I don't think he is a Bad Person but he is extremely misguided and needs a kick up the bum. I'd tell DS that he made it up as well.

YANBU - maybe not bad, but incredibly dumb, although he obviously thinks he's doing the right thing coz he's so pleased with himself. Your DH has just told a massive whopper to your LO that is bound to come back and bite him on the bum. this ain't no toothfairy/father christmas type thing...

Please, Magoo, he is not a bad person! He was trying to protect his son! And what sort of message is 'your daddy is an idiot going to portray? In my book, anything that will keep them from danger at an early age is a good thing.

hmm, most responses seem to focus on DH's lie to DS, and not on the obvious slight to the disabled... perhaps IABU, because THAT's what was bothering me the most!

is that a slight to the disabled? Obviously that's not why Kerry from Cbeebies has only one arm but it doesn't sound a slight to the disabled to me

No, that is what I thought was causing you the problem, and that is what I would have an issue with. Still YANBU, and for that very reason.

I would say to my DS 'now, that's not a good idea is it... because what do you think will happen?' expecting the response 'chop my fingers off'.

I wouldn't tell him a lie about Cerrie off cbeebies. It is misleading your child about something that needs to be handled carefully, since they will ask lots of questions about 'difference', and it is surely better to be simple and honest in your explanations rather than confusing your child? If the OPs child asks about Cerrie again, he's going to get a conflicting response which makes it harder for him to accept her disability as 'normal'.

I may well be making an arse of myself here, so sorry if i am inadvertently offending anyone. I'm not a disability awareness pro!

SORRY STROPPY SHOPPER BUT I THINK THE DADDY WAS THINKING MORE ABOUT HIS CHILDS WELFARE THAN BEING P.C ABOUT DISABILITES.THIS DADDY HAS JUST SAID THE FIRST THING THAT CAME INTO HIS HEAD. I THINK IT PROBABLY WORKED ASWELL. SURELY THATS GOT TO BE A GOOD THING, HASNT IT.

but there are a myriad of reasons as to how/why someone may only have one arm (or one leg, or be in a wheelchair etc etc etc), there's not "normal" answer to fit all is there?

Some people will have lost limbs through accidents, some will have been born that way, some may have had an illness which meant amputation was necessary etc etc etc.

but no matter how their disability "came to be" - there's no one size fits all reason for it, even though it's still "normal".

there's not a 'normal' answer for everyone, but there is a truthful one.

Well, it's a slight in the sense that it's casting her disability as her own fault. It's using someone else's disability as an object lesson, and it's lying to boot.

It's just not okay, I don't think. I'm trying to think of other examples; like pointing to a famous person in a wheelchair and claiming that it's because he refused to wear his nice new shoes. Or threatening your child that if they don't eat their vegetables they won't grow up big and strong and they'll be a Little Person like [insert famous Little Person here).

and you've never bent the truth with your children about anything?? I know I have

To be fair I don't suppose if the DS was actively in the process of trying to touch the fan that DH had time to sit down and think it through properly. Probably (like many of us have I'm sure done - even if we don't want to admit it) said the first thing that came into his head.

I agree with tortoise in that it's telling him that Cerrie lost her arm because of something she did. I would have no problem with saying don't touch that, you'll chop your arm off but naming a person and embellishing her story is a bit much. But as I said, a bit misguided, not a huge issue.

(btw, did anyone see Cerrie on a prog about disability over the weekend? She said 'sex'

I think that's hilarious

Tis essentially 'armless

I think I agree a little bit with stroppy and tortoise; wanting to protect your dc is fine, but I really don't think you have the right to use a real living person as an object lesson by making up stories about them

the ds will find out sooner or later that this one wasn't true, and may well feel uncomfortable about it/less inclined to believe his dad next time

personally, I thought it important that my children should know that I did tell the truth, unless it was the kind of jokey fairy tale story (Santa, tooth fairy) that you didn't have to believe but just told to make life more fun; telling scary untruths about a real person doesn't seem to me to fall into that category

Wouldn't think my dh a bad person if caught at this, but would be exasperated if he was that thick.

Well, I'm visually impaired and have told my children to not read in the dark, for example, so their sight won't be like mine.

This was when they were of Ceebeebies age (IYSWIM).

My disability is actually congenital, but I think I put them off risking their sight with my concrete example.

IMO Stroppyshopper's DH is not a bad person. We have all used hyperbole to teach our children, I should think.

Stroppyshopper, I'm sure you'll get the chance to exercise damage control.

Good luck

lol Bark - my Grandmother on my mum's side, and both her siblings were all visually impaired (my Aunt and Uncle both registered blind), like yourself it was congenital, but I recall my mum telling me and my brother the same thing when we were little.

DS watching CBeeBees now ( at bad parenting skills) and has not mentioned it... I was thinking Tortoise was right on with the "in a wheelchair because he wouldn't wear his nice new shoes." Then saw Bark's reply. Fair enough.

Rockbird, aside from saying "sex" , did Cerrie elaborate on her disability? If I'm going to correct the story for DS, I might as well be accurate...

If it stops your child from severing fingers in a fan it's worth it. Misguided? yes, trying to do the right thing? yes.

My DH told DS1, 8, who won't read that he'll be thick if he doesn't try.....needless to say I have taken over the reading!!!