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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

at my neighbours, for using my fence post?

93 replies

NewTeacher · 28/06/2010 14:10

Neighbours moved in recently and I noticed that they had put up a washing line by wrapping the wire/cord around our fence post.

Now AIBU as I've asked DH to have a word and ask them to remove it as he always bumps into neighbour at station of a morning. DH says he will but never does. I think he thinks I'm BU...So am I?

My worry is that over the years the post will come loose by having had heavy soggy wet clothes hanging on the washing line.

We paid over £3K to have the fences put in (We own fences on both sides of our garden and its 100ft long). Which means we will have to pay for repairs.

Am I justified in telling neighbours to get their own pole for their washing line?

OP posts:
QOD · 28/06/2010 15:52

we own the fence at the end of our garden, not to the left or right - awkward innit!

Original poster
NewTeacher · 28/06/2010 15:53

LOL Toxteth!

There's obviously 2 camps on this one!

OP posts:
ToxtethOGrady · 28/06/2010 15:55

newteacher- i do want full credit if you take me up on my idea, otherwise i send the lawyers in....

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/06/2010 16:03

I have mine from the fence post - never even crossed my mind to ask the neighbours. Neither would I mind if they did the same.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 28/06/2010 16:19

Toxteth - if your idea fails there will be lots of wrinkles to iron out!

MrsC2010 · 28/06/2010 16:23

Cor, they must just love the sound of footballs thudding against the fence on a regular basis!

ToxtethOGrady · 28/06/2010 16:24
Grin
LadyBiscuit · 28/06/2010 16:36

I regularly bang in nails and hooks to tie plants to on both sides of my garden. I would be most peeved if my neighbours had a go at me about it.

If it has wooden or concrete posts, I think I'd be more concerned about the uselessness of the fence if it came down with a bit of washing. My line is hooked over a bracket outside the back door attached with two screws into the wall and it's still there, eight years after I put it up

booyhoo · 28/06/2010 16:45

my ex neighbour cut down my fence so he could bring his-- bin through my garden his dd could play with my ds. i would have been grateful if he had left it up and used it as a washing line pole.

disclaimer>> not saying OP should be grateful.

magie73 · 28/06/2010 18:35

Pleaaaaaasssseeeee don't write them a note. Even if the fence gets damaged.

Its cowardly, rude and down right un neighbourly. It destroys relationships.

Everyone who I've ever known to receive a note from a neighbour has actually esculated the issue because of the 'note'.

Each one has said that if the person had approached them reasonably they would've fix/paid for/rectified the situtation immediately even if it was to their personal detrement to preserve the neighbourly relationship.

oldandgreynow · 28/06/2010 18:59

Is the fence entirely on your side or does it straddle the border ?

SoupDragon · 28/06/2010 19:11

Go out in the dead of night and untie the line from your fence post.

slushy06 · 28/06/2010 19:43

My mum recently moved into a new house and was doing this her neighbour bought one of those line pulley things and put it up for her while she was out my mum was over the moon because being a single mum she couldn't put it up herself. The line pulley things only cost a couple of quid.

unavailable · 28/06/2010 19:56

NewTeacher - as it is you that is bothered by this, why have you asked your husband to "have a word"?
Have the courage of your convictions and approach them yourself - unless, deep down you do think YABU?

chandellina · 28/06/2010 20:54

YABU and if my neighbour brought this up in person or in a letter I would think they were beyond petty.

TheHouseofMirth · 28/06/2010 21:02

We have a washing line attached to our fence and in the 4 years we've lived here it has seriously loosened the fence post. However, it was pretty crappily errected I certainly don't imagine it cost £3k.

Buddjela · 28/06/2010 21:06

Well my neighbour uses my fence post for their washing line - it irked me for about a week then i got over it.

Find out when their birthday is and get them a washing line post

MrsJohnDeere · 28/06/2010 21:14

My new neighbours have hung a washing line from one of our fence posts. Didn't occur to me that I should get upset about it.

Life is far too short for falling out with neighbours over something so trivial, imho.

CwtchyBlueMama · 28/06/2010 21:22

Well i wouldnt be happy if my neighbours were using my fence as a post for their washing.

Why cant they concrete a washing post into the ground?

We have a rotary & its great cos when we dont need it i just fold it up & store it down by the garage.

YANBU op.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 28/06/2010 21:25

Different situation - but my parents' neighbour has not spoken to them for about 5 years because their decorator painted a gate post, which is technically theirs (there is no gate there any more).

He has kept this up despite their apologies, and the fact that my parents speak to his wife, and buy their DDs small birthday presents.

Frankly, it has made life really uncomfortable for my mum and dad, and made him look a total arse. I would hate to see you in a similar position.

If you feel strongly, them PLEASE don't start your relationship with them with a complaint, and certainly not in the form of a letter

stubbornhubby · 29/06/2010 09:18

why don't you sneak out at night and loosen the screws for the bracket that holds the washing line.

your fence post, it turns out, is made from Gambian Mock Softwood - that weird type of wood that doesn't hold a screw.

peeringintothevoid · 29/06/2010 14:26

You might be aware that the fencepost is yours, bought by you, but are they? Before you blunder in and sour your relationship with your new neighbours, you may want to check your deeds and make sure that the documented responsibility for the boundary fence on that side lies with you. They may think that it is their responsibility to maintain that boundary fence, particularly if it is on the right side of their garden (as previous posters have mentioned). Or, they may not have given any thought to it at all!

You are likely to be neighbours for a long time, and ill feeling on either side can make life at best awkward, and at worst hellish. If the deeds are clear that the boundary is your responsiblity, then I'd really think very carefully about how best to mention it to them. You seem very gung ho about not caring if they think you're a 'witch', but why on earth would you want to get off on the wrong foot with people you have to live in close proximity to, when they are probably not even aware that they have offended/irritated you?

Fimbo · 29/06/2010 14:33

God this is just the type of thing, that would get my goat. It is the presumation rather than anything. My new neighbours used to use my driveway to turn on all the time. I stuck my bins out for a couple of days so they couldn't and they got the message but they now do it to the couple on the other side of them!

I am easily wound up though...........

MadameBelle · 29/06/2010 14:50

peeringintothevoid may have a point. If the deeds state who owns the boundary (many use the left/right ownership thingy mentioned earlier) then it is irrelevant who paid to have the boundary fence/wall/whatever put up or maintained.

Last year we found metal workers measuring up our boundary wall, and I found out that my totally mad and neurotic lovely new neighbour was planning on having a 6 foot high spiked fence on the boundary wall (which is about 4 feet high anyway).

I went round to ask her about it and she was under the impression that because my previous neighbours had paid for the wall to have new coping stones put on it then it was both her responsibility and right to do what she liked with it. In fact, it was because the previous owners had simply wanted to have unnecessary work done and were prepared to pay for it themselves that the previous work had been done. They had talked to us about it and we were happy for them to have the work done, but not in a position to pay for it.

So please, op, you may well have paid for your fence but if it forms the boundary, you may find that it is in fact their responsibility for upkeep etc, in which case they can hang what they like on it.

Alternatively, if it is yours and yours alone, then their washing line is trespassing on your property.

As others have said, if you have a problem with it, go round and see them. Don't get your dh to do it, and don't write a note.

knickers0nmyhead · 29/06/2010 15:22

bloody hell, its a fence. A 3k fence that wont withstand washing isnt worth the money.