..to not really care how big a part a six year old has in their whole year production?

[Emo76]

DD's school play was on Friday - it included all 60 children in her year, most without many or any lines, and a few with quite a few. They all joined in the songs and seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. DD had two lines and my pride in her and enjoyment of the production would honestly be no different had she been the lead role or had no lines.

I have just had an email from our parent rep saying that some parents have expressed concern that some children had much more to say than others, and if we feel aggrieved to contact the headmistress who will bear this in mind when casting future productions.

AIBU:

a)to not be bothered if DD has no lines or starring part as they are SIX for goodness sakes and they all had SOMETHING to do?

and/or

b) to think the parents complaining about it should stop being so competitive about something which the children themselves seemed pretty cool about?

YANBU - God, imagine trying to come up with a production that has 60 equal parts. Would parents start counting the words to check? Every child should be included if they want to be, but beyond that, some children are better at this kind of thing than others and the ones that are good should be allowed to shine.

YANBU. If the children don't care then why the hell should their pushy parents?! If your DD was upset at not having as many lines as some of the others then I would maybe contact the school and ask that she be considered for a bigger part next time. If she was happy though then forget it!

YANBU they are probably angry that all that money spent on dance, singing and Stagecoach and all the kid got was one line.....

I am usually in floods of ridiculous tears at any performance so wouldn't really have noticed....

how ridiculous - are they going to complain at Christmas at the Nativity when Mary and Joseph have more lines/more to do than the Wise Men who only appear at the end

YANBU - my DP was 'lighting' in his school play and it's not like he grew up feeling bad about it.

I'd write a nice email to the rep (copied to the school) saying how much you enjoyed the performance and that you are grateful for all the teachers' hard work. Must be so disheartening for the teachers to hear all this nonsense.

Yanbu.

Anyone who thinks the size of a child's part in a play is indicative of anything that matters needs to find something proper to worry about.

I always used to get big parts in the school plays, not because I was a good actress (i wasn't) but because I had a loud voice and a good memory for lines.

The children who were actually good at drama tended to shine through when we were a bit older

It is quite ridiculous.

I do have to point out, however, that when DD1 was at primary school, the same two children in her class were picked to do everything - every school play, every assembly, every church reading. It did get to the point where the other children would get despondent about participating at all because they knew it would only be one of these two girls who did anything of note. And yes, it was the children who were despondent, not their parents, who largely tried to encourage them to take part regardless.

But at 6, it's very silly, competitive parenting.

Thanks ladies - yes muddleduck I have emailed the school to say how much I enjoyed the show and how much DD had enjoyed being part of it, and thanking them for their hard work.

Interesting point Tyler80 - I wonder if these parents actually believe that the part their child has in a primary school play has a future bearing on, well, anything...!

How silly some DC are very 'showy' at home but wouldnt want to do it in front of the whole school. Im always really suprised if my DD gets picked to speak but as soon as she walks through the gates she becomes a massive show off confident in her ability .
Im too busy crying to count the lines but some DP are irrational about it all.

The poor headmistress!

As a teacher...

It's a nightmare doing performances! You have to choose/write a play in which all children can take part (for us, 3 classes in a year group so 90 children). Some of those children can barely read or suffer so much from nerves that they don't talk above a whisper when you are just in class, let alone when faced with 200 parents. To use a microphone isn't a solution as the children babble into it and it renders all children unintelligible. So, you find a lovely play which has songs for everyone to sing and then speaking parts with varying amounts to say.

You hold auditions so that you can tell how loudly/clearly the children speak. You cast the loud and clear ones with the large speaking roles, and the keen but not so loud/clear ones with the smaller roles. You rehearse for hours and hours. You spend weeks teaching the songs, working on the acting, putting together dances for the ones who want to dance, putting together costumes. You ask the parents, with 2 or 3 weeks notice to send in something for the choir to wear ('Smart clothes' or 'party clothes' or 'jeans and a brightly coloured t-shirt').

You put on the performance, and the children do well.

Then it starts... 'Why didn't Johnny have a bigger speaking role?' 'Isn't it a shame that the same children had the main roles AGAIN?' 'It's criminal that not every child was on stage at some point.' 'How on earth do we expect the parents to come up with a costume at such short notice.' 'How dare we ask for something so unreasonable for the children to wear - jeans?! My daughter doesn't wear jeans!' etc.

Really makes us want to do it all again the following year, I can tell you!

My mum spent years having to come up with two plays a year for 120 children 7 and under. An absolute nightmare to think of things that meant every one had a part, ranging from the few that would stand up and read some lines to those that could just about be trusted to stay where they were put and be a rock (in desperate times).

I think one of her more inspired plays was 'Goldilocks and the three bears go through the woods, meet little Red Riding Hood and the CareBears' - which gave everyone a character part, but to give them all equal lines ? Just not possible.

I'd tell the complainers to write a play that is evenly spread, and then the children can do it

Oh bloody hell how ridiculous. Like CMOT's idea of asking the pushy parents to come up with a suitable production.

ds's play at Christmas involved everyone, and those who were in big groups (like a dozen angels) sat on the steps leading up to the stage just before they came on so they had more than a moment to shine IYKWIM. Felt a bit sorry for the 'musicians' though, they were at the side of the stage and didn't speak at all. Dunno if that's because they were quiet or uncooperative or what, one of them I know is normally a very confident, bossy girl.

YANBU

And these parents aren't helping their dc's. They should be focussing on congratulating them, however miniscuke their part, not complaining that the distribution of parts was unfair. Life isn't fair, after all, and children need to learn that! Instead they will be picking up on the righteous indignation of their parents, and learning a very different lesson...

miniscule

YANBU

Galena, I am not a teacher but I feel your pain.

ya sort bu

wait until they are in yr 6 and you have been to countless productions with the same few in all the leading roles.

Plenty of children are shy and would be mortified at having to be on stage the whole time with loads of lines - the teacher probably didn't want to force shy children into big parts just to please their parents.

I never wanted to be the "star" in a school play - much too much pressure. I loved being involved but even having one line to say was a trial! Most children aren't bothered about having the starring role, they just enjoying the singing/dancing/costumes excitement of the production.

Emo, I suggest you write a nice card/send chocs to the staffroom thanking them for such a lovely production that all the children were in and was thoroughly enjoyed by cast and audience alike. Mention something along the lines of you know how busy this end of term is, and you really appreciate the opportunity given to all children.

That will counteract (slightly) any offensive from the Competitive Parents Brigade.

Well, let me tell you (or rather your class rep!) that the very first email of such a sort that I or my HT received re: casting of any production that I direct would signal the END. FULL. STOP. of any play I (or my colleagues) would ever be involved in again.

But thank you for emailing a nice one to the school. That sort of thing counts

2shoes that hasn't happened though! If it is a recurring thing, with a few always being chosen, that is a bit different...but it is often the case that the teachers choose the same children because they have ability in that area, or they want larger parts, whereas other children would hate it. We as parents might want our dc's to have "good" parts, but they themselves might not!!

Oops sorry - you've already been nice.