..to not really care how big a part a six year old has in their whole year production?

[Emo76]

DD's school play was on Friday - it included all 60 children in her year, most without many or any lines, and a few with quite a few. They all joined in the songs and seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. DD had two lines and my pride in her and enjoyment of the production would honestly be no different had she been the lead role or had no lines.

I have just had an email from our parent rep saying that some parents have expressed concern that some children had much more to say than others, and if we feel aggrieved to contact the headmistress who will bear this in mind when casting future productions.

AIBU:

a)to not be bothered if DD has no lines or starring part as they are SIX for goodness sakes and they all had SOMETHING to do?

and/or

b) to think the parents complaining about it should stop being so competitive about something which the children themselves seemed pretty cool about?

YANBU - but I just love the reaction of the parent rep. She's clearly exasperated beyond bearing with these specific parents whinging at her, when it's not something she has any control of, so has politely said "bugger off and badger someone else" while appearing to show an interest in their moan.

Personally, as the mother of a child who would have preferred never to be on the stage at all, and certainly not in a major part, I'd write to the headmistress to commend her on having had a variety of different kinds of parts to allow all the children to participate in their own ways!

There is another side though - in my DS's last two school plays the same two children were given the main roles for two years running (yrs 5 and 6), about 10 others out of 60 had one line each and the rest were sitting up the back and literally on stage dancing for 2 minutes each apart from the singing. They rehearsed this endlessly (weeks on end) so all my DS had to do was sit there for hours on end day after day for weeks. The boys were also expected to wear tights (shades of lilac and pink - not good IMO for year 6 boys) and it was extremely boring for him (and me I might add). I don't mind him not getting the main part - or any part - but to give it to the same two for two years is just wrong and for the last primary school play for the school not to have thought up something more inclusive where each child had a bit more input is a bit off.

At age 6 it doesn't matter - you hope that they'll get a part in one of the plays over the forthcoming years (each taking a turn if they are interested and able) but for a year 6 play I thought my DS's school could have come up with something else. No, you can't please all of the people all of the time but sometimes a bit more thought could be put in.

Haha - apparently when Steve McQueen and Paul Newman starred in the Towering Inferno their agents insisted they had exactly the same amount of lines each to make sure that neither was seen as the bigger star.

That was childish, as is this, YANBU.

I was always a ?techie? in the school plays as I knew how to run the lighting desk - never ever got a part in anything even though I wanted to, desperately.
I did, as an adult, however, make quite a nice living as an actor in New York for several years, and my best mate who got the lead role EVERY SINGLE YEAR at school, couldn?t get into drama school (and now has a brilliant career as a nurse). Tell the pushy stage mums that!

YANBU

I'd send an email to the parent rep saying how ridiculous, it was a triumph to involve all 60 children, and what a slap in the face for all the staffs' hard work. Instead you shall be sending a box of biscuits THANKING them!

Sorry, I see you already have!

Our school does two shows a year, a Nativity performed by the infants and a musical at the end of the summer term.

For the nativity the parts are all quite small so they all get their bit.

For the musical, year 6s get the main roles and the other juniors the non-speaking parts or "ensemble" singing. This way, as the year 6 tend to only be year 6 once, they can only get a main role once. I think it is quite a good idea as they get "rewarded" on their last year in school.

YANBU. At all.

A former friend and mumzilla proudly told me how she stormed into the head teacher's office to demand to know why her DD was not the Princess in the school play.

What in hell are these people doing? Hey little Cassandra/Crispin, you can be anything you want, all the time. You never have to let other people take the limelight, you can be the winner all the time, as it is your birthright.

No doubt there is something wrong with our generation of parents, but I can not help thinking it is a hangover from the Blair years of "every child wins a prize" non-competitive sports, and the nobody fails policy of turning a Fail mark in to a Referral.

I am looking forward to 2030, when the current crop of ten year olds will all, simultaneously, become Prime Minister and will accept their Oscars.

Yanbu

YANBU but I agree with what other people have said about particular children getting the same parts all of the time. When I look back now, I can't believe how spineless the teachers in my school were. One particular family won absolutely everything, even when it was very clear that other people deserved to win. They got every main role, won every competition, got every solo, got to go on every trip and were treated like bloody royalty. It still winds me up because we all knew what was going on and the teachers acted as though we were imagining it. The dad was on the board of governors and the mom was a very bossy, over involved mom who later went on to become a teaching assistant. Pathetic.

A friend of mine taught at the school after I'd left and actually told the head that he was disgusted at the way the teachers had such obvious favourites. There was something silly like an egg decorating competition. The teachers went backstage and said ''Well, it's pretty clear that 'boy from this particular family' has won''. He told me that some of the other children had put in a lot of effort and had produced much better eggs but they refused to acknowledge this and, yet again, a member of this family won.

I'm feeling quite annoyed about this now! Would it be incredibly silly to bring this up if I happen to bump into the old assistant head?

YANBU - all points well covered above.

I wonder how much that old chestnut of "same children in the starring roles year after year" is exaggerated, though. It's an easy claim to make, and often it's more of an impression than a reality. My school goes to great lengths to spread things out as much as possible but, equally, if a child has talent on stage, why is it so wrong to give them a part that they'll do justice to and help make a good show? It's excruciating for everyone to see a wooden robot on stage who's nervous and embarrassed. Drama productions, particularly at Years 5 and 6 are showpieces for the school and, as with a sporting competition, it makes sense to pupt your talented kids out there. There are, or should be, other Speaking & Listening opportunities across the school year for the less "dramatic" kids to have their turn.

clam, in my case it most definitely wasn't exaggerated. The children were average and it wasn't enjoyable to watch at all. It wasn't as though they were little stars with incredible voices and huge amounts of talent. They just won everything all of the time. They even went as far as casting the boy as a girl and one of the girls as a boy because the main role that year was somebody of the opposite sex. They never did that with any other children.

And, as you can tell, I am DEFINITELY NOT still bitter about this and have not made a mental note of every time we were treated unfairly at school in this way

How are the poor teachers supposed to accommodate simultaneously the parents who think all parts should be equal and those who think their child should have a starring part?

DDs school is like Gorionines's - they do Infant nativity-ish production (year 2s all with acting parts, all the rest singing); then summer musical - all year 6s acting and singing, plus the junior choir (those who've auditioned and gone to choir practice every week). Of course the acting parts vary but this avoids the 'same child every year' syndrome.

My DDs school had a great idea this year. they asked all the pupils to write down/tick what part they wanted.
Astonishingly ( not) the kids all wanted different types of parts. Some wanted to be cute things, some to talk a lot, some not to talk at all etc etc.

DD put down that she wanted to be the narrator and gotthat role ( which is great because no costume)

But can I just stick up for some of the kids who get roles a lot..

DD got the lead role in a play last year and got a big role in the nativity.

I didn't ask, I don't care tbh. But I asked the teacher afterwards ( not least because of a couple of 'what a surprise that Paggirl got that role ' comments).
Teacher told me that DD is just unflappable.
The biggest problem they have with the girls under 8 is if something goes wrong and they freeze. If it is a big role that can throw the whole thing. DD is not the slightest bit bashful and it wouldn't bother her.

So sometimes it isn't pushy parents.
I confess I was very pleased that she has gone for the dullest part this year. I could do without the s

I didn't exaggerate the same children post.
i t happened every year in ds's primary.

YANBU. A parents' rep??? Whats that when it's at home? Apart from teachers worst nightmare? I dont get the competiveness myself. I was painfully shy as a child and speaking in front of hundreds of people would have reduced me to quivering wreck. [shrugs] lots of children are like that while others are big show offs who are good speakers.

When I was in the juniors one parent apparently complained coz their little darling had too many lines- She was pissed off because her DD was "carrying" the rest of us There really is no pleasing some people!

I must admit I used to fret in a very small way when ds1 was always cast as an 'extra' or 'fourth sheep' or whatever-probably because he never won any races at sports day or- well, anything, really.

And yes, the same group of about six children were always cast in the main roles, year in, year out- although with good reason, I know that (clear loud voices, unflappable characters etc etc).

So you could've knocked me down with a tiny feather when, in year 6, he sang a duet, front and centre. I kept wanting to nudge the pther parents and say 'Oi! Look! It's ds1!!). But I didn't.

And I would never, ever have hassled the poor teachers who had to try and tame that lot to give ds1 a bigger/better part. I already felt for them enough as it was.

YANBU - these parents clearly have issues re. living vicariously through their children!

prozacfairy - brilliant - "carrying" a bunch of kids!!! what are these people on.

I was the non speaking donkey in my primary nativity one year. Clearly I should have been offended

btw you are def not being unreasonable

My dh was at school with Hugh Grant. Guess who got the starring roles.