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Original poster

To sometimes wish I had never had children

40 replies

Tryharder · 27/06/2010 20:55

I am expecting DC3 in a few weeks so shouldn't really be starting this thread

We had a barbecue in our back garden today. Just DH and I and DS1 and DS2 aged 5 and 3 respectively. The DSs have been absolute sods - fighting, crying, complaining about everything, sulking.....I have spent the whole day shouting "don't" "no", stop it"...I have hardly sat down today and am knackered; my ankles are about the size of my thighs.

I looked over the fence and my single, childless neighbour was out on her sunbed with a good book, a glass of wine, ipod on presumably to drown out the offensive noise of children screaming in our garden.

Why oh why didn't I appreciate single life more when I was single?????

OP posts:
pjmama · 27/06/2010 21:00

I know exactly what you mean!

lovechoc · 27/06/2010 21:01

you'll be fine in a few weeks time when the joy of the new baby comes along! I'm also due in a few weeks time too (but with DC2) and can't wait for it to be over with - heat is exhausting!

Your neighbour maybe wishes she could have your DC! The grass is always greener...

WinkyWinkola · 27/06/2010 21:07

Ah but in a few years you'll be having that glass of wine, reading a book etc because your dcs will be with their friends a lot of the time.

You're under the cosh right now with such young children - I'm the same - and whilst I was most definitely envious of those flat stomached, child free, novel reading women in the park today, I know that my time of some leisure will come again.

The bickering and meanness between my dcs also drives me bonkers and makes me .

5DollarShake · 27/06/2010 21:07

It is touch in this heat with DCs, and then throwing in being heavily pregnant takes it into another league (I also have ankles the size of thighs }.

There are bad days and good days.

5DollarShake · 27/06/2010 21:08

that should be tough*!!

MorrisZapp · 27/06/2010 21:30

Trust me, nobody lying on a sun lounger with a glass of wine wishes they had next door's screaming DC!

I thought the whole point was that while other people's DC are a nightmare, you love your own enough to get through the grim days like OP had today.

I'm counting on this phenomenon tbh as I'm expecting my first soon and am currently very much on the sun lounger.

PotPourri · 27/06/2010 21:34

Yeah, no one wants those screamers. But the days they are absolutely darling I am sure even the most die hard no-kids types have a tiny flutter... I've seen it quite a few times with my DC2, who looks like an angel and says the most adorable things with the most beautiful angelic smile I have ever seen (beneath the veneer is a cheeky little monkey though!!)

ilovestrictly · 27/06/2010 21:39

My DCs are 7 and 4 and I had a lovely day with them, BBQ and sun lounger - I even managed to flick through the Sunday supplements whilst they played in the paddling pool + sand pit. It will get easier Tryharder , you may just have to store up your reading material for the time being.

pontypandy · 27/06/2010 21:47

Im sure every mum feels like that sometimes i know i do, today i had one of them days.
DS came bk from spending the night at GD's house and was behaving terribly probably cus GD lets him get away with everything and he was so hyped up on sweets and over tired cus of being aloud to stay up late.
But although during the day i kept shouting and yelling and pulling my hair out wishing i was single and childless, if i go and look at him now all cute sleeping in his bed i will completely feel different and love him to pieces and wonder why i ever thought those things.

So give urself a break ur bound to feel like this spesh with 2 dc and heavily pg.

2moro will be a better day and you'll wonder why u ever thought like that.

lottiejenkins · 27/06/2010 21:52

I feel very sad reading your thread title, i should have both my boys with me my first ds died aged 2 hours and my second ds has special needs! I would never ever ever wish to not have them In fact i would love to have both my boys with me but i cant!

moonslide · 27/06/2010 21:54

It may have been a terrible book....(grin)

serioulsy though, poor you. We have all had days like that xx

scottishmummy · 27/06/2010 22:01

hell yes.i hear you.running around trying to meet multitude of needs,gurning,tantrums.then mt friend called relating her lovely lunch and stroll round gallery.i was green to the gills

SirBoobAlot · 27/06/2010 22:02

Everyone has days like that. And its always worse when you're hot and bothered - and pregnant! Hope tomorrow is better for you. x

scottishmummy · 27/06/2010 22:05

lottie,think title is meant as glib hyperbole.not an actual statement of fact.but yes can see it could be painful

Snobear4000 · 27/06/2010 22:17

YANBU. And I am glad you're here as I know potential parents are lurkers on MN and it's good for them to hear of the drudgery, migraines and boredom as well as the "bliss" of parenting, before making their big decision.

The little sods, you not only bust your ass to get them to the nursery and school where you think they'll be best suited, but you also thanklessly toil at the wheel of the car taking them to visit friends (who may well be little shits, and whose parents may be assholes you'd never want to meet otherwise), go to their various activities (which you paid for), sit through total dross at the cinema, spend your beach holidays making sandcastles instead of swimming, diving and sailing, you provide them with delicious yet nutritious meals day in, day out, only for them to moan, whinge and complain about everything.

Yes, it's a shitty life. Why the devil did you go for a third?

julybutterfly · 27/06/2010 22:23

Lottie, I lost my DD whilst pregnant last year and people moaning about being pregnant in this heat and wishing they were thin and not hot etc really upset me. But I know, without a doubt, that I'd be moaning about the heat if I was pregnant.

I don't for one minute think the OP wishes she actually didn't have children but is just letting off steam xx

InWithTheITCrowd · 27/06/2010 22:24

2 years ago, I was that woman on the sunlounger, drinking wine and reading a good book - and aching desperately for the life that my neighbours with their shouty splashy DC?s were having. It?s fine to have off-days and to remember your single life with a bit of nostalgia and to perhaps perceive that life as blissful and worry-free. But it may just be that she craves a bit of yours too. We all have things to be thankful for, and we all tread different paths, and the heat can make things a bit difficult sometimes, but I bet you wouldn?t go back to that life for one minute. It took me and DH 11 years to conceive - and I would have traded you in a flash!

Worryworry · 27/06/2010 22:29

I was that childless neigbour not so long ago and I used to wish I was up to my elbows in nappies etc. we had great difficulty in having a dc and am eternally greatful for her.
Count your blessings and don't be sad,the grass is always greener on the other side :-)

SmallShips · 27/06/2010 22:31

It's the heat! My three have been torturing me today.

At one point I left them all in the lounge, closed the French doors on them and sat in the middle of the bouncy castle with my head in my hands until I had regained the strength to go back to them.

SiriusStar · 27/06/2010 22:40

I've had your day!
In all seriousness, I knew it would be hard but I thought it would be ok as I would have the warm fuzzy love to carry me through. I am obviously not fuzzy enough.

I am just so fed up with the demands, the constant demands. All the bloody time.
I would like to believe the people who say it will get easier but I can't see it getting easier for another 10 years.

You are not alone.

lamplighter · 27/06/2010 22:41

My dear mum said that all the time when my brother and I were growing up.

We were holy terrors! Into everything, building dens, fighting, arguing but ulimately totally loyal to each other. When the shit hit the fan we would defend each other to the death.

No bullies were any match for my brother and in the 80's I would tape the Top Forty for him and take in his trousers for the 'casual' look. He was my brother and I was 'Little Sis'.

Brother and I are now in our forties and Mum phones me ALL the time and I defend her and Dad to the death and would do anything for them.

Siblings fight - it is a pain in the neck but they will never again have someone in their life who knows them so well. Shoe size, lost teeth, favourite toys.

Ask your DC's what they know about each other - you will be amazed at the answers and how much they actually understand each other.

No matter how much they whine

Just look ahead 30 odd years!

thesecondcoming · 27/06/2010 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phatcat · 27/06/2010 22:54

great post lamplighter, something to think about for those of us with fighting dcs

shinysparkles · 27/06/2010 22:57

I am so sorry for you Lottie.xx

lamplighter · 27/06/2010 22:59

thesecondcoming

Breathe and relax - when the baby comes dump him/her on DD1's lap and go and have a very, very long bath.

The squawking will be a very good reminder as to what happens to 'bad' girls who do not dress like Julie Andrews in 'The Sound of Music'

Just kidding

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