Arriving Home and Greeting Etiquette

[Cake]

OK, etiquette question about something DH and I argued about this evening (yes, we have nothing better to do)

I think that, whichever of us is the person who has just arrived home from being out is the one who should seek out the other to say hello.

DH says it is the person who is already in the house who should come down to greet to the person arriving. He says it's 'The Rule'.

What say you?

In my house you are first greeted by the dog. I recall being greeted by a snog in pre dog days.

if you are going to set up an "etiquette" then it has to be something which you are going to do for him as well as he does it for you.

I think it's entirely reasonable for the person coming in to shout "Hi honey I'm home" or the equivalent. If there is no response they are welcome to consider themseves alone.

the very worst response is for the arriving person to arrive, tired and dirty, come in to greet the other who is lying on the sofa watching the telly who says "Oh hello, make me a cup of tea will you?" If you get a partner like that, go and sit down and make yourself a cup before you go and greet them. Or say, "not just now, too tired"

This is not a sex-specific behaviour

love this thread has made me laugh like i havent in ages.

we have always sought out the other when we come in, but then our house is small and normally DH is within spitting distance anyway.
However when i lived at home and we had a big house my dad always hid somewhere and jumped out on whoever was in the house at the time. I dont know how many heart attacks i had but makes me smile thinking about it now.

you both need to go out to the pub and then you'll both come home together, drunk, and then you can fight in the porch about who is first to get home.

then whoever that is should say hello to the other one.

and then have sex, because it sounds like you both need it.

the etiquette is that the person coming in should say hello first, either by shouting or seeking out - they are advising the person in the house that they have arrived.
if the person at home has to seek out the person who has arrived (assuming they have a key) then they have to be psychic.

This is making me laugh so much.
I read that Marilyn Monroe would do the following with her first husband Jim Doherty:
"Is that you Bill?"
"No"
"George?"
"No"
"Bob?" etc

OP- YANBU- the arrivee should seek out the incumbent to alert them of their presence.
(but LOL at firm handshake and snigger's dance!)

lol penguin it used to end differently in the days before children, but I guess that's how we ended up with them

We just yell when coming in and DS1 yells Mummy! or Daddy! and comes to the door.

We do like Morloth, only I also shout 'Daddy's home!!!' with great joy and a face wreathed in smiles.

Not because I love him so and my day has been a barren wasteland without him, but because I can now delegate reponsibility of the hyper toddler and morose teenager and sneak off for a crafty fag.

We just shout "hello" when we walk through the door. Why on earth wouldn't you?

Your DH is wrong. Isn't it satisfying when you are vindicated?

I will reiterate, people, that this is a NIGHT-TIME dilemma (Although I grant you that this wasn't clear in the OP, just in a subsequent post)

During the day we do the shouting hello thing (in fact, DH has just done that). During the night the children are asleep so we don't shout 'hello' as that is likely to wake them.

I should also probably make it clear that we have lived with eachother for over 10 years now and last night was the first time we have every argued about such a thing, although that's probably because we've been preoccupied with other things to argue about Last night however, I didn't realise DH had come back in from being out, and said why didn't you let me know, and he said because I was in the shower, and this led to a fascinating discussion about where the onus of responsibility for announcing yourself lies.

Anyway, am very fascinated by the peep into other's routines.

And am still taken with the butler idea. Do you think I can get him to announce people's departures as well as their arrivals? This may delight DD and chivvy her into leaving the house for school on time

The person at the House should always greet a new arrival first

If dh or I don't announce our arrival upon entering the house then the person already in greets the arrivee with the threat that "That had better be you Pourquoi/Pourquoi's dh".

If there is still no answer then we are allowed to reach for our weapon of choice.

I always say hello when I come in but I'm usually in sweaty gym gear/laden with shopping bags/carrying my college stuff and in a hurry to dump it all somewhere, so it annoys me when DP insists on (every day!) coming out of the living room to talk at me and give me a hug. Grrr...

LOL one of the many, many reasons my ex cited for leaving me was that I did not bounce up, run to him and greet him affectionally when he come home for the weekend in the afternoon.

I was in bed asleep, after working nights, looking after a toddler and managing to grab the first bit of sleep since the day before. Kinda says what an arse he was though.

I couldn't be arsed seeking someone out, I would just shout hello and then when they appeared at some point then say hello. Mind you my bungalow isn't exactly large enough to not see someone straight away anyway.

We shout hello whatever the time is. My kids sleep through the smoke alarm, the odd raised voice isn't going to permeate their heads when they are asleep!

Obviously you are right.

If for no other reason, than the person who is already in, doesn't hear the other person get back, then shits themselves when the new arrival appears in the room.

I shout hello and go looking if I don't get a response (just in case they've keeled over in the bathroom or something).

Not at night.

I do also shout hello if I hear someone come in, but I wouldn't hear the door if I was upstairs.

I like to sneak in and have a cuddle of the cat before greeting DH as the cat is always genuinely pleased to see me - DH immediately follows up any greeting with 'what's for tea' even if he's in first

If you were in the shower it is def his responsibility to let you know he's back because its hard to hear from in the shower.

We have been together 19 years. We find grunting at each other quite sufficient.

I agree with you OP - the person coming in should do the Hello-ing.

Husband comes in and says hello to the dog, the children and if I'm really lucky then it's me.

I

When my (lovely) MIL stays she rushes to the door to greet me when I come home from work. I hate it. I need time to decompress and hate having to be all chatty and bright when first in the door. Told dh I hated it and he said wistfully "actually I sometime wish you did that when I come home".

Usually I find and greet the dog when I get in.

Our method is similar to this .