To wonder how the bloody hell people afford private education for their kids?

[HarderToKidnap]

Thinking about TTC and getting WAY ahead of myself I idly googled the local private schools. Bloody hell!! HOW do people afford this? My DH and I earn 100k between us every year so certainly not poor, but with a mortgage (on a two bed terrace) and other, what I consider to be reasonable, outgoings there is just not a way it could be done. So all these children being privately educated, do their parents earn masses and masses? Or am I missing a trick?

(Incidentally I wouldn't send my kid to private school - comprehensive was brilliant for me and if a child is going to do well they will do well, I believe. Was just wondering.)

God, is £3-£4k that much to spend on a holiday? Thats what it cost the four of us to take our car on a ferry from Portsmouth to Calais, spend a week in a small rural cottage in Brittany, then a week in a caravan on a Eurocamp site in the Vendee in August two years ago. Including petrol and spending money, twas about £3k.

I agree with UQD that a life devoted to small economies - switching off the lights, washing in cold water, frugality at christmas and no holidays - would not be sufficient to fund two sets of school fees. Not even if you knitted every christmas present.

It frustrates me when people talk about making these small economies, when school fees for two children at secondary school easily add up to 25k out of taxed income, say £40k gross income. It's s myth.

I do know one 'poor' family at the DCs schools. Their (4 bed detached) house is on an estate of houses and their two cars are fairly aged. The children can't go on the school trips and they don't have the latest gear. That's poor, doncha know. Frustrating that people still think that small economies can make that kind of difference.

I struggle somewhat with the concept of mortgaging yourself to the hilt or making huge sacrifices for a private education for your children. I think if the child has the right attitude, is encouraged at home or is bright enough that they can still achieve the same things that a private education buys minus the huge expense.

My parents didn't pay a penny towards my education, I was state school educated. My parents were very education focused so I took school seriously. Professionally, I have ended up in exactly the same place as others who were privately educated. In terms of wider interests, well I have never been skiing but through extra curricular activities either through school (later uni) or through the church, I have a wide range of interests. As I say none of it cost my parents a penny. For these reasons, I would happily put DC in state school but DH would not be happy with that at all as he was privately educated.

See red, I tried that. Ds spent a whole term and a half in a state school, he was bored and bullied on a daily basis. I'm not saying that all schools are like this but it's unfair to keep moving a child around in order to find the right school for them. He works better in a private school as there's more things for him to learn and do.

Just thinking about the equivalent thread on Netmums....

"We earn jointly £30k a year and spend £500 on a week in the Butlins hotel"

Sorry. V bad I know.

£120 for 4 people to go and see a show like The Lion King in the West End. Once a year.

Luckily I can afford this lavish Victoria Beckham-type lifestyle because I am not forking out thousands on private primary education which my dc do not need .

novice but often houses cost more near decent secondary schools

redllama- why would schools suddenly all become so fabulous? Children in fee-paying schools aren't more clever than those in the state system. We would still have excellent schools and sink schools, as people would spend the money they previously spent on fees to purchase houses close to the better schools.

Coupled with the proposed 25% cut in the education budget... I really don't think there are going to be as many excellent schools around in 10 years time.

Like some others on this thread my choice was to pay the extortionate rate ds's CM wanted to charge when he started school (and then negotiate pick up times to enable him to do after school activities) or pay private school fees (which are less) and let him do whatever activities he wants. The big difference is the wrapround childcare (7.30am to 6.30pm) costs £4 per day. The mix of parents at ds's school is mainly two working parent families, a few SAHM families with very wealthy dhs and inherited wealth or funded by GPs. Some are also like me - working single parents.

pixie imo not many do...

I just worked it out... Some of the girls I went to sixth form with who had been there since U3 would have had £182700 spent on their education

I remember one girl telling me that her parents had literally sold everything but the basics in their house, and were living off rice to keep her there

Shocking, really.

What is your point Pixie?

'It's such a horrible irony that if all (and it would have to be all) of the parents who paid to put their children into private schools were prepared to send them to comprehensive schools, we'd have an excellent comprehensive system.'

I doubt this. The whole curriculum would have to change. I'd want IGCSEs instead of GCSEs and that's up to the government to bring in, not the local school. I just don't believe that lots of middle class Mummies wanting Latin (which would be me) and lacrosse (yup, me again) would be welcome. I can hear the words 'pushy' and 'middle class' and possibly, gasp, 'Bodenite' being thrown around. It would be ugly.

There's only 1 way that I'd return ds to the state system, if there was a state grammar school here.

I think 100k is a huge amount to earn.

I am shocked that you think that private education is out of the question when you earn this amount. How do you think ordinary people live?

I seriously thought that people on much lower incomes sent their kids to private school. (I don't include myself in this as I simply don't earn what the school fees are).

I agree that the system is totally flawed and if you have the money, you can buy yourself into the catchment area of a school that is already thriving.

My point (maybe badly articulated) was that the schools that do well aren't doing well because of the economic situation of the families that send their children there, they are doing well because they are truly community schools where parents/carers play an extensive role in life of the school.

i think 100k is plenty
depends how many children though
maybe they are big breeders

It's not just middle-class mummies that want latin taught. I taught an after-school latin class at my last school (as a teacher, not a pupil) and I think the intake would have surprised you somewhat. It's not just middle-class mummies that have certain aspirations for their children.

the thing is, you still have kids from shitty schools all the way through getting into oxford and cambridge, so a lot of the time i really dont know why people bother. the only time anyone is going to care WHAT school you went to is applying for oxbridge.
and if all A's at GCSE are achievable at shit schools, and availible at private, why waste your money? if your DD or DS isnt smart enough [and the focus starts at home, school is only 6 hours a day remember] to go to a top top uni, then theyd be happier at one where they wouldnt be so stretched.
[also, going to oxford doesnt automatically equate intelligence to some people, it equates 'money', imagine if you had an employer like that?] i dont think struggling day to day is the answer. there are some fantastic state schools, with qualified, enthusiastic, brilliant teachers, and i think an okay state school and a bit of cash at home to show your DC's some sights, maybe do your own history lessons around britain and on holiday, life experience, is more important that knowing the names of all the roman emperors and that Charlie in science's dad has a helicopter and goes skiing 4 times a year.
i think private school can be excellent for special needs kids, smaller classes [and specially trained teachers] but then it shouldnt have to cost them anything. what people are saying about unqualified private school teachers! just because you know all about a subject doesnt mean you know anything about teaching it or being a good teacher! i would be furious if my DD's were being taught formally by someone who didnt know all about different teaching/learning techniques and behaviour control!

i dont know how people afford it. someone further up said theyd have to cut back their holiday to every 18 months. thats usually my families holiday. and half the time its a festival. id have to cut out all holidays, sell both cars, sell a load of furniture and clothes, cut out any spending on anything other than food and house bills, and i still wouldnt be able to afford it for even 1 of my daughters.
the thing is, where i live noone would even think about private school. as in it just wouldnt occur to them. if their child ended up in a less-than brilliant state school, they would just go 'ah well' and try and be as involved as possible, and hope for the best.

No, I wondered why you were telling me that not everyone scrimps and saves to pay school fees! Since I grew up in Winchester and now live in Dulwich and most recently worked in Cadogan Gardens in Chelsea I'm well aware that there are plenty of really very wealthy people around (some of them even within my own social circle ) but thanks for pointing it out anyway.

Just to add to that, you'd be wanting those things, by proxy, not just for your child but for the whole tutor group/year group/school, thus broadening everyone's horizons.

A few pushy parents with loud enough voices would help improve everyone's education.