To think BF-ing a 2yr old is, um, weird?

[Lucy85]

Well what do you think? I know it's a very emotive subject, but I've seen it a couple of times and it makes me come over all strange.
I BFed my baby exclusively until 7 months when I went back to work, but the thought of doing it now is just plain odd, - not wrong, it's just I can't imagine doing it to someone who can walk, talk, get their own drinks, eats proper food and is too big to lie sideways on my lap.

To those who have said that breastmilk is made to the child's specifications an alters itself according to the child's nutritional needs, how does this work when you are feeding both a newborn and a toddler?

Rene - ah, the all-seeing breast just knows

Good point actually.

Good question rene I am a ebf but have always wondered this myself.

Cake and roses If you do have a second dc and wish to ebf you can give water through the day and just feed in the morning and night if you feel more comfy doing this.

I wanted to confirm that breastmilk is used to fight cancer in adults, I have certainly heard of this.

I also really, really struggle with the concept of 'infantilising' a child - TSC could you explain exactly how I am doing this by bfing a 3yo?

I don't do it because I want to, I do it because it's the way he gets to sleep, and he is very demanding about it. I would love to stop and have been trying to for about 2 years but he refuses bottles, refuses cows' milk and won't touch formula.

Also he won't go to sleep any other way - that is the main sticking point.

If you would like to come round and have a word with him about giving mummy's boobies back to mummy, I would be quite grateful but in the interim please don't assume I breastfeed out of a desire to infantilise him - tbh I've never heard such a load of codswallop. You should see me trying to fend him off.

I saw that article in "okay" magazine.

Now I am prepared to categorically state that I cannot ever think of a situation in the first world where it would be necessary to BF your husband. Still reeling over the concept.

I bf my DD till 13 months cos she wouldnt take a bottle.
Two boys i bf till 9/10 months.
I suppose in this country we mostly feel 2 is too old to bf but , hey, everyone to there own!!!

'we mostly feel', Maltesers? Really? How do you know?

The number of comments I have had from people who see me feeding ds2 has been significant - often very, very positive things about how wonderful it is, or a whispered acknowledgment that yes, they still feed theirs and are so glad you do too, as they feel like a freak - or women with older children now, saying they fed theirs till they were five.

It's been a revelation. Meanwhile the rest of the nation sits couched in their misgiven belief that 'most people think it's weird'.

Fine by me, really.

Flighttattendant - trying to choose my words carefully here as I really don't want to offend you but... your situation doesn't sound like one of a typical ebf who actively chooses to continue to bf their child (to infantilise them or otherwise).

Yours sounds like quite a sad and difficult situation actually, I hope you manage to resolve it soon.

I should add these are not people I meet at some commune or extended feeding society. They are people in the cafe, people at school, women who work in the corner shop who you might assume would disapprove.

Thanks, Cakes - that's nice of you and I'm not offended at all.

I think the point I'm trying to get across is that it isn't an active choice for me. It's a passive choice.

ie the child's needs and wishes are coming first because basically it's that or controlled crying and I find the latter abhorrent.

Making a choice to feed for a longer time than the average is an alien concept to me but I hate seeing women pilloried for it...I wonder how many really do have the final say as to whether their child breastfeeds beyond that age or not. Several people I know do it because the child wants and needs it and they don't see any point refusing it.

Ah Cakeandroses IME you do have to fight and bloody hard to wean a baby of bm before they are ready the same as you have to fight to take away a bottle. I know ds would have fought tooth and nail to continue bf if I had tried to stop I spoke to a bf consultant when he was 18months and on 1-2feeds a day and she said he would wean in his own time or I could force him to wean.

Sorry, that should have said 'making an ACTIVE choice is an alien concept to me'

I hope that's clearer.

I disagree with the view that there is no need to ebf in a country with clean water.
There has been research conducted illustrating the benefits for long-term breast feeding.
some information here
There is some evidence of better health and lower incidences of ear infections in breastfed toddlers.
Extending breastfeeding also protects the mother from a number of cancers including ovarian and breast cancer.
I consider these to be big benefits, which are lost through lack of information and lack of support for women to start and continue breastfeeding and advice on how to fit bfing round work and other commitments.
If we can't offer support to mums the 'weirdness' factor seems to win out, which seems a real pity.
Although we have clean(ish) water in Europe formula must be prepared and used immediately as it degrades past preparation.
My little boy was mixed-fed for the first few months and I am pretty sure I left formula from the fridge to stand too long on occasion, due to tiredness. Being very methodical and precise is a lot more difficult when you have had two hours sleep.
I also agree with other posters that ebfing continues to give psychological support it offers children is pretty self-evident.
I didn't consider giving emotional support through my boobs to be infantalising, just supporting a very young child who was not emotionally mature.

'I wanted to confirm that breastmilk is used to fight cancer in adults, I have certainly heard of this.' Has it proven effective flightattendant.

Flight
actually I agree with the choice bit.

I never decided to feed DD for x period of time.
I just didn't make her stop.

All my children stopped when they were ready and it was different for each.

If it had at any time been about me wouldn't I have actively tried to extend feed all of them?

And tbh having DS2 who has SN , the suggestion that my behaviour is designed to infantilise my child is really really offensive and wrong.

Flight and slushy - I think we were lucky with DS as he weaned off bm surprisingly easily (took a couple of weeks before he'd drink a good amount of anything else though).

At 14m, he was only having a bedtime bf but I really wanted to wean him altogether as I was pg (my body felt like it needed a break and also I didn't want to tandem-feed when DC2 arrived). DH put him to bed for a week and gave him a cup of milk. DS cried a little bit but DH just sat with him and cuddled and patted him - we wouldn't have done controlled crying. By the end of the week he'd adjusted and didn't ever ask for milk from me again < mixed emotions about that!>

Maybe it gets harder as the child gets older or maybe it just varies from child to child?

Slushy, I don't know - I just know it has been tried. You would need to look it up.

Pag - I am offended by the idea people think I am infantilising a small child an that I have some vested interest in standing out from the crowd, having a child who behaves too young for his age, or whatever - no, no, no.

cake I think it differs from child to child, dd seems much more focused on milk than ds in fact we have had a lot of trouble getting her to accept solids, where ds was more than happy to eat solids.

I think I may research that flight, it certainly sounds interesting.

Hiya Cakes,
well yes the CC bit was maybe extreme but it is what it would amount to, ie ds cried the house down when I tried a night without bf.

I don't have a DH to take over bedtime and unfortunately my breasts are not detachable, so it was pretty torturous trying to explain to ds that mummy wasn't going to feed him like that any more.

He didn't understand and he had no way to replace the falling asleep part of it he so badly relied on, so I gave in and here we still are.

I did ask my mother if she would consider having him for an evening and helping with that side of it, ie getting him to sleep without it, but she said she wouldn't do it, I can't remember why.

At the time I had mastitis and kept getting it so felt very unsupported and trapped. It's less frequent now thankfully.

I agree with it being a passive, rather than active thing.

My DH still thinks longer-term BF is a bit odd. Not totally freaked out by it though. But I don't think there'll suddenly be a day when he says 'hang on, DS is too big for this' - I'm hoping he'll just get used to it. I've dropped hints that I'll be doing it longer. My parents may be a bit harder to convince but I've got the WHO on my side

I (mix) fed DD for only 8m just asked if she wanted to try some mummy milk (she just turned 3) and she said "no, mummy milk is just for DS, I'm a big girl, I'm not a baby yet" bless. but also a bit don't know why I expected that to work just feel bad about her having so much less than her brother

I wonder too if the level of hostility people experience is related to their uncertainty.

I never had any odd or bad comments. But then I didn't feel embaressed or defensive about what I was doing and anyone who had queried would have been greeted with

'that is fine but we are not doing a research project here thanks and your opinion of what I am doing, whilst very important to you,impacts me not a jot'

But I think that not many people who meet me would imagine that I need helpful advice or moral support. Perhaps that makes a difference.

Good grief Flight. That doesn't sound easy at all, especially with mastitis too. I definitely would have struggled to wean DS if DH hadn't been there. Very distressing to refuse a child milk whilst it's right there in front of them.

I really hope your mother or a friend can help you in future if you do decide to wean him. I'd offer to help you but I don't think a stranger putting DS to bed is going to help you any!