To think BF-ing a 2yr old is, um, weird?

[Lucy85]

Well what do you think? I know it's a very emotive subject, but I've seen it a couple of times and it makes me come over all strange.
I BFed my baby exclusively until 7 months when I went back to work, but the thought of doing it now is just plain odd, - not wrong, it's just I can't imagine doing it to someone who can walk, talk, get their own drinks, eats proper food and is too big to lie sideways on my lap.

Very at this thread!

First at being told I am "weird" for bfing ds3 and ds4 for over 2 years and secondly for being told that it is for MY benefit.

I stopped bfing ds1 and ds2 at one year precisely because I thought that I should. I wish now that I had continued at least another year. They both constantly picked up infections from other children in nursery between the ages of 1 and 2 and ds3 and ds4 were much healthier. I bfed ds3 and ds4 largely because of MN and some of the wonderful longterm bfers here.

I have two issues with being told it is for my benefit. First of all, in my case it most certainly was NOT for my benefit, it was entirely because it was good for ds3 and ds4. And they clearly wanted and needed it and I have to say that in both cases, I did curtail bfing at around two and that they were both very, very upset when I did and I will always feel immensely sad about that.

The other issue I have with that is that longterm bfing IS good for the mother, it does help to protect against cervical cancer and breast cancer and why shoudn't the mother benefit? What are we, second class citizens whose health doesn't matter?

Also, I would be willing to place a bet that the mother Mingg knows ( and Firawla, I did think it sounded like the woman in Desperate Housewives, too!) probably told everyone that was her reason for continuing because she had to think of somethng to say to all the interfering busybodies asking her when she was going to stop.

Lucy85, If you genuinely want to learn the answers to your questions I would suggest reading 'Nursing Older Children by Ann Sinnott' to hear from the mothers and the children who are/did nurse past two years.

charleymouse, Respect to you lady

SassySusan, It sounded like breastfeeding was very important part of your mother daughter relationship, so sorry for your loss. It makes the petty arguing about 'right' length of nursing pale into insignificance.

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As for mother doing breastfeeding to meet her own needs. Hahahahahahaah. Yep, at 8 months pregnant and currently nursing my 23 month old DS and 3.11 year old DD during the day (both night weaned). I am not sleeping at night due to heat, exhausted due to low iron due to pregnancy, so what I really want to do on top of the housework, child care etc is force my children into remaining babies by breastfeeding, LOL.

I continue to nurse my children, as it matters to them and that is what matters to me.

TSC the NHS is uk. It recommends 2 years. No ambiguity there (not that there is from the WHO but some people seem determined to find a loophole)

sorry a minimum of 2 years then for as long as suits child & mother

From books that I have read, it seems that our ancestors bfed until the child was about 6yrs old! It just doesn't fit in with our modern lives but obviously nature is still in the prehistoric period - otherwise it just wouldn't be possible for a mother to still do it.

No TSC, I said part of a balanced diet, not supplementary.
Some people like a drink of milk in the day, some don't. Most breastfeeding toddlers that I've heard of on MN usually feed morning and bedtime anyway.

What have I confused you with?

"one assume that it is therefore not necessary to breastfeed a toddler during the day then,as last time i looked most non ebf 3 year olds weren't given bottles of milk to supplement their diet"

At my children's nursery milk is offered at both snack times during the day. Milk or water and fruit.

It really is a head explode type thing to realize just how many people think that milk from a mum is a weird/poor substitute for cow's milk. Now don't get me wrong, I happen to love cow's milk myself - lovely stuff. But if you really think hard about what it is - it's the bovine version of breastmilk - surely milk from a child's own mum ought to win hands down over milk from a cow?

It must be because we never see the cow so don't really believe in it - we see a nice clean fridge and a bottle with a clean lid and it's cold and normal, perhaps. But what is it like when it comes out of the cow? It's warm and it's just come out of some quite messy udders that are awfully near a permanent source of cowshit - in comparison breastmilk is coming from a lovely clean, dry, normal environment. Why is the breastmilk the icky one and the cow's milk the normal one?? Really??

Like I said, I love a nice glass of milk straight from the fridge. It definitely ought to be the more weird thing to do though, really, when you think about it.

I have never breastfed - no live dc, but would love to one day and think the longer the better. I think 3/4 would be my personal limit but it depends on child. I just think it makes sence to keep going if both Mum and child happy - why the rush to switch to what is essentially cows breastmilk when childs happy with human breast milk. Is it the milk or the fact they are drinking it from the breast thats the issue? (Obviosuly nothing wrong with formula/cows milk but why the rush to change from breast if its all going well and both happy with it)

TheSecondComing,
It is very unusual for a baby to self wean under 12 months but it does happen. This Kellymom article looks into why some babies seem to self wean early, it makes interesting reading.
Self Weaning

Breast milk always has a place in a healthy diet for a child, just like fruit and vegetables do. Of course you could raise a healthy child and never give them an apple (or breast milk or carrots) but why restrict any good food from a child's diet.

Secondly there is so much more to breastfeeding than just milk. Which is why when my milk has run out in my right breast today (pregnancy related) according to my oldest and when my young DS discovered this. He was upset and told me it was 'all gone' and latched on and off a few times. But then he still settled down to nurse for 10 minutes and fell asleep, even without milk he still got comfort from the act of nursing and that is why breastfeeding is so good for my children.

The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding a child until the age of 2. But I suppose they really mean all those poor, uneducated folks out there, not us nice, first-world people, eh?

It's like a dialog between the mother and child. Some children want to breastfeed for longer - some don't. It would be irresponsible to stop breastfeeding a child who wasn't ready. And I'd like to see someone actually able to force a child to breastfeed - obviously they feed when they need to.

I found the poster who compared an older baby wanting breastmilk to a grown woman wanting a glass of wine. Really? All this "it's for the mother's benefit" is the weird bit of the thread.

shipthat - you put what I was trying to say in a better way

I personally can't imagine it but I have no problem with other people doing it.
I wanted to bf DD to at least 6 months but I had problems and had to stop at 3 weeks. Still makes me feel a bit sad

What is the forumla substitue made from? breast milk?

If you assume no toddler would want to breastfeed then it's a reasonable hypothesis, I suppose, that any toddler breastfeeding must be being encouraged to by a mother satisfying her own emotional needs to keep them a baby. It's just a totally faulty assumption, that no toddler would want to breastfeed. Plenty do. Those of us who've fed toddlers know this, probably so do people who've witnessed it fairly close. I suppose people who haven't done it just can't fathom it.

Saying long term breastfeeding is for the mother's needs only is like saying a restaurant exists only to satisfy the needs of the waiter to serve people or the chef to cook. OK, both can be satisfying jobs, but neither could do their job if there weren't happy customers there wanting to be there and eat the food.

Reading things on the lines of "well after a certain age it's all about the mother's needs" seriously is like sitting here reading people hypothesising why restaurants exist and saying "well it's seems obvious to me it's all about the chef's needs". It makes about as much sense (i.e. none)!

Yeah TSC, no one's actually told you to hold your child in a headlock, for your benefit have they? You're making stuff up to argue against.

Anything in that link that suggests such action?

Apparently, due to breeding for milk production, a calf couldn't physically drink all the milk a cow produces everyday. Which I find kind of .

On the subject of 'all for the mother's benefit' - I often joke that the only reason I'm stil BF DS2 is that it keeps the weight off and delays menstruation. In fact he wants to nurse (as does DD) and I would love him to stop. That line just makes me want to scream!

So are mullets, motherofboys!

Yep. breastfed a toddler until past three. I'm so glad I did for both of us. I did it because I knew of the health benefits for both of us, so it seemed daft to stop just because other people were a bit weird about it.
I would rather they be supportive and get a grip because the awkwardness doesn't really do much to help those who choose to breastfeed beyond 12 months.
Surely, women should support each other regardless of their feeding choices!

thesecondcoming, The article I linked to may not apply to you and your babies, only you would know if it did or did not, as I said I think it makes interesting reading.

In some cases introducing solids can replace instead of complimenting milk intake and a possible solution to this issue could be to reduce solids, ensuring limited solids are offered after a milk feed. Not to starve a child but to ensure the milk goes in first and the solids as an afterthought rather than vice versa.

In other cases some babies are easily distracted from nursing during the day and a possible solution to this issue could be to offer additional milk feeds whilst in a dark, quiet place with no distractions. Not in a headlock mind, just offered as normal.

These are reasonable suggestions if the aim was to ensure breastfeed had the best chance of continuing.

However this situation would equally lend itself to be a perfect opportunity to encourage weaning if the mother wished to, to take advantage of a drop in interest in feeding.

I am not sure why you think anyone thought you are a 'bad mother' for weaning your children. You rang a breastfeeding helpline who gave you possible solutions if you wished to pursue it, you were happy not to. I have no idea why you are choosing to use emotive phrasing of...
"reduced food to our babies and kept them naked and in a headlock" when I doubt this is anything like the information given to you.

You made the right decision for you and your babies, trust that others make the right decision for their own children.