To think BF-ing a 2yr old is, um, weird?

[Lucy85]

Well what do you think? I know it's a very emotive subject, but I've seen it a couple of times and it makes me come over all strange.
I BFed my baby exclusively until 7 months when I went back to work, but the thought of doing it now is just plain odd, - not wrong, it's just I can't imagine doing it to someone who can walk, talk, get their own drinks, eats proper food and is too big to lie sideways on my lap.

Breasts have a sexual function for men. I had this discussion with a group of women recently (of various Scandinavian nationalities) and they all said they did not find having their breasts touched by a man to be sexual. Neither do I.

If you do, that is fine. But you should stop pedalling the myth that it is universal. It is disturbing for teenagers when they don't find they have a response to it, and they feel abnormal because of this stupid myth.

yes there is plenty of need to respond with such vitriol
if you can't explain yourself clearly enough to avoid people thinking that you are accusing them of getting sexual gratification from a toddler, i suggest you refrain from posting tbh

how is "giving milk to a toddler with my breasts" twisted around to "replacing emotional support from my partner"?

even if that is what you meant, that's a bloody personal and rude thing to say about all the women on here who have breastfed older children
you're saying we're doing it because our relationships are crap
you don't expect us to feel angry about this ridiculous, insulting and unfounded piece of crap?

CoupleofKooks - she chose to bf because it kept her slim. She made it quite clear to everyone that that was the reason.

Yes I do know this person, she lives 2 doors from me.

I mentioned this because so many are asking why would bf be for the mother. I doubt there are many who bf solely for this reason but she did. I am not saying there is anything wrong with it, her child, her breasts, her milk, her choice.

DS weaned himself just before 2 and DD is almost 17 mo and still bf. Nothing to do with gratifying my needs-she asks for it, she likes it, it obviously provides her with some emotional comfort.She bf just 2-3 times a day and I have no intention of taking that comfort and protection that bf offers til she's ready.

When will people understand that breasts are MAMMARY GLANDS- that's what they are for.

I bf my daughter till she was 3. For the last 3-4 months she just had a little suck then she stopped around her 3rd birthday. She still talks about the tastest yummiest milk in the world and would stroke my breast if I'd allowed her.

There was nothing weird about bfing her till 3, it felt natural and normal.

I think you are jealous OP that you didn't manage to have this special relationship with your child.

Why is it sick to think that a child in the bed with your partner which is often the case with extended bf may affect the relationship? Of course it might.

I'll stand by the fact that in some cases I think long term bf is about meeting the mothers emotional needs.

Aplogies for the relationship comment, I was talking about bf and co-sleeping which often go hand in hand.

Minx, I think I might feel violated if someone else's toddler started asking for booby and lifting my top, but the change from rooting to requesting 'mummy's boobie please!' is as gradual as all the rest of their development.

And I don't breastfeed while I'm having sex and fail to see why being a breastfeeding mother would interfere with sexual relations.

Yes, I agree that it is not always enjoyable. But I find that will almost everything I do! There just isn't enough time for everything.

ok there are some very unusual things being said about breasts now

first, that some women want to 'get their breasts back', so they can give them to their husbands again presumably? that's a strange one

second, that we shouldn't say that women get pleasure from having their breasts touched? that's a new one on me as well

i think i will go and do something else for a while
i might be able to find some children that will let me put my breasts in their mouths - it's all about me, you know

minx that is so incredibly rude.

Are you one of those who stopped BFing because her body 'belongs' to her partner?

I'll be honest and say I used to think it was curious - not odd, but curious - as to why mothers used to choose to BF that long, and felt similar to the OP - a walking, talking, child; it just seemed curious as to why they would still be breastfeeding. Since having DS, however, my view has changed entirely. It has become pretty obvious that its not the mothers choice, but the childs choice, and I am now in utter awe of everyone who breastfeeds for however long, but especially extended feeders. DS is 7.5mo, I want to get to a year, and hope that I will manage to get pass that. It makes me smile whenever I see a baby or child, whatever their age, breastfeeding now.

I also agree with the comments about it being society's view that is wrong - already I am having comments along the lines of "When are you going to stop" and have had several horrible experiences when feeding in public.

OP YABU, but maybe you would change your view if you had a look at some of the extended feeders thread on here; they educated me a whole lot, and really changed my mind.

minx you didn't say initially that bfing would AFFECT the relationship you said that it REFLECTED the state of the relationship

but it's all so much bullshit i shall stop responding tbh

Unfortunately society primes us to perceive breastfeeding as something a bit strange and this increases with the age of the child.

I have had the feeling you describe too and I think it is just because we are not used to seeing it and are generally lead to believe that breasts are primarily sexual in function, even though this is only their secondary purpose.

I breastfed DS until he was 16 months and only stopped because he self-weaned (or rather started prodding me and generally messing about rather taking any milk) and I didn't find it strange to breastfeed an 'older' baby at all.

It does seem odd to think of breastfeeding him now (he is coming up for two) but only because we've moved on from it IYSWIM.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do about it.

Yes tsc, it's really awful that those other children think breastfeeding is weird.

I am not saying that we shouldn't say some women get pleasure from having their breasts touched! I am saying that we should stop claiming sexual pleasure from breasts is universal or that having your breasts touched is more sexual than kissing.

A lot of people like having their lips touched and kissed during sex. But we don't object to them eating in public or applying lipsalve or kissing their child, or claim that they are kissing their child for sexual reasons.

Milly great post about kissing
i would say that pleasure from breasts is fairly universal though, surely? i would think people not getting pleasure from having breasts touched would be a very small minority?

Nobody I know bf beyond a year, and I've never come across anyone in RL who does.
I managed 6 weeks with dd and 6 months with ds- my ds suddenly refused it completely.
I loved bfeeding him- it was harder with dd, and would probably have continued up to 2 years.
I would struggle to see a 5 year old at school still bf- yes, I'll probably be shouted down- but that's me. I just don't understand why- I'd worry he'd be ridiculed even if done privately.
I'd be interested to know other European country's views on bf after a certain age.

Depends how they're being touched I suppose.

anyone who thinks the mother does it purely for themselves is implying that the child does not want to feed.

if any of you have tried to force a toddler onto the breast you'll know that is laughable in the extreme

shoes? my NINE month old was walking and in shoes. should I have stopped feediong him?

or what if my 2 year old couldn't walk or talk, does that make him ok to feed?

really, what a load of crap.

'one of the mums at the park is feeding her 3 year old-i know she still is but apparently on tuesday he hauled her top down and took both of her (very sizeable) breasts out and stood between her legs bfing for quite a while.
a crowd of children (who attend the school this kid will be going to in september) crowded round and started laughing and taking the piss (i wasn't there and didn't see but this has been reported by several different people to me since then-i have no idea why by the way)
do you think it's fair on that child
i really really don't think it's fair on him'

Firstly don't see why it matters what size her breasts are or how her ds feeds. I personally would be more upset at the childrens attitude and BTW all children go through a age where they think breastfeeding is funny unless they are brought up with it. I had children laugh at me feeding newborn ds I didn't stop. Also they will forget it in a week.

YABU

CoupleofKooks, I don't know. Maybe somebody needs to do a study on people in different societies and find out what proportion of women find breastfeeding pleasurable and what proportion of women find having their breasts touched by an adult to be sexually pleasurable.

I know that some men think touching of breasts is equivalent in sexual pleasure to touching a clitoris. I am assuming that women who do derive sexual pleasure from their breasts do not find this to be the case.