2.5 yr old sleep over

[teresac]

what age do people think it's appropriate for children to stay overnight by themselves at their grand-parents(-in-law)?

What I meant by 'in-law' was that the grand mother (who in this case is rather strange and needy as it happens - a whole other story) is not my mother but my husband's. The term doesn't apply to anyone elses grand parents - I know there is no such thing as grand parents in law! My mother-in-law is a difficult person to say the least who has all sorts of issues surrounding food and weird ideas that are not in line with mine - it would take a month of Sundays to go into it all here (I've been in this relationship for 20yrs!) and there is a lot to it. My daughter really likes her grandparents and I do all I can to support their relationship but they mention to her constantly 'when are you going to come and stay?' type stuff - I think it ought to be discussed with my husband and I before it is put into her head...oh so much stuff why ever did I start this thread?

I have to go with my instincts as you all have done.

thanks choufleur that's honest and direct.

Ok ignoring possibility that you or dp were adopted - wouldn't the grandparents have looked after, and actually quite successfully raised at least one baby?

swallowedAfly, it sounds like you have a very loving support there - good for you. I can't say it's quite the same for us. My in-laws want to be involved but only on their terms really. Our values are not the same as my mother-in-law likes to do things 'her way'...which can be quite disruptive...fairy tales of little red riding hood leading to nightmares about wolves for one tiny example...

is your dc too young for fairytales?????

for screaming nightmares. yes.

My inlaws don't even cuddle or kiss my dcs, let alone have them to satay the night.
Miserable old fuckers.
As a result my dcs don't like them, don't want to visit them- neither do we.
So we don't. We see them once a year at xmas for 3 hours.
You are so lucky having someone who wants to spend time with their gcs .

but anythign can cause a nightmare. my ds had a nightmare about feather dusters after a spate of feather dusting.. i spose it was relaly spiders

Some children are bothered by "scary" fairytales Slarty. DS was terrified of wolves coming to get him for quite a while when he was around 3.

3/4 years my parents, older for his, long story.

yes but tales of being eaten are surely more likely to be nightmare inducing than a duster, albeit they could be monster dusters

yes so if a feather duster can cause a nighmare - the chances of a story about a wolf coming to granny's house is pretty likely to cause a bad d ream isn't it?

As soon as the GPs will have them!

Seriously though my DD has been staying overnight with my parents regularly since she was 10 months old. They look after her a lot and love her to bits. DH and I really appreciate the rest too.

Its a win-win situation for us but everyone's circumstances are different.

my kids have never slept at my inlaws without us. They have babysat (once we got them all to sleep) but never had them for more than an hour or 2.

My dad on the other hand has had my kids since the eldest was as young as a few weeks old. I FF my DD1 and as my mum died when she was 2 weeks old, we all used DD1 as a bit of a support at such an awful time.

My dad looked after DD1 when I went into hospital when I had my appendix out (DD1 was 9mnths old) and he even took her on holiday at 13mnths old so me and DH could have some time out (was pregnant with DD2) I had 10 child-free days and it was such a nice break - I missed out on DD1 starting to walk, but little sacrifices!

I dont think my dad has ever had DS to sleep over without us though, but up until April we only lived 10 mins away so there was no need. Dad would come over and babysit and then stay over with us.

We now live 700 miles away from anyone that could babysit or have my kids overnight, so it isnt really an issue, but my inlaws and my dad are both visiting within the next 2 months and me and DH are looking forward to getting out for a few evenings!!!

It needs to be personal choice. The first time I left DD1 with anyone was the night my mum died, and I left her with my now SIL. It was only for about 4hrs, but it was long enough.

oh yes,.

is your dc still scared of little red riding hood?

Mine? No, he's quite happy with wolf stories but much prefers waffling away about Ben 10 and aliens.

no the op

My ds stayed over at my parents one night every week from the age of 12 months and had stayed the odd night before then. My dd had to wait til she was 20 months when we were convinced she would sleep through the night! She now spends at least one night per week there. Both of them have also been on holiday with my parents and sister without us. They're very close to my family and therefore don't seem to give us a second thought when we're not there.

However there's not a chance that we would let them stay with my in-laws, just because they don't know them as well, not having spent much time with them.

in that case i think the best idea would be for the op to stay with her dc with grand parents, for the first couple of times

what do you mean still scared of little red riding hood? That's not the issue here - she's not as it happens but you'd do well to actually read the initial posting here!

Whenever they are happy to do so. My DC are very close to my parents and are very happy to be left alone with them for extended periods. They've always done it so there is never any separation anxiety

i wasnt being anxious, i just wondered