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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

that my daughter was assaulted today and there are no police available to deal with it

102 replies

Poshwellies · 24/06/2010 22:32

DD whose 15, was quite badly assaulted in school today,suffered a 1 inch chunk out of her lip due to being being punched in the face by a girl with a ring on.

She was escorted home by a teacher and after I took her to the GP surgery to be examined and cleaned up, I called the police to report the assault,this was at 4.30.They said they would send out some officers asap.

Just had a call from the police saying sorry,but we are overrun at Glastonbury and have no available police to record the incident,we will try and get out tomorrow,blah blah..

Not Serious enough I guess,but you'd bloody well think they'd sort out police for local incidents,life doesn't stop just because of sodding Glastonbury.

OP posts:

Vallhala · 28/06/2010 22:35

Thank you expat, yours too. The OPs DD does NOT want to be a sitting target, to "see what happens". What has already happened is bad enough, we're talking of a punch in the face here, not a bit of bitching!

The consequences for a child like this can be huge. It's not just physical pain and shock, not even just fear, it's about losing confidence, about the subsequent taking of sides by classmates, about the child's whole view of schools in general and trust in their ability to safeguard her years to come. Even if she attends another there is a chance that she could be insecure about ANY school's ability to ensure that she is safe. To suggest that she returns against her will and her mother's reservations in the circumstances described by the OP and takes her chances in the lion's den is imho and ime far from a good idea and potentially dangerous, in both the short and long term.

Original poster

Poshwellies · 28/06/2010 22:41

Flook,dd has agreed to try school tomorrow.

We had transport issues (girl who assaulted her is on the same bus) to sort out today and dd didn't want to get on the bus to more abuse from the girls' motley crew.

She's understandably worried as to how safe she will be when she goes back as the attack was vicious and took place within school grounds.

I'm not wrapping her up in cotton wool but I won't allow/let her back if I don't think she'll be safe-whose to say this girl won't attack again and next time it will be even more violent? She has attacked her once knowing the school had CCTV and that didn't stop her.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 28/06/2010 22:42

I don't know about your child, Val, but my dyspraxic DD has major confidence problems. It takes a long, long time to build hers up about anything. Socially, she's still quite immature as well.

She's 7 and still having lots of problems reading (she is also dyslexic).

It's a spectral disorder, I know, but I've not met any dyspraxic children who didn't also have rather fragile confidence.

expatinscotland · 28/06/2010 22:43

'She has attacked her once knowing the school had CCTV and that didn't stop her.'

And she also threatened two other teens on CCTV.

Vallhala · 28/06/2010 22:50

Luckily, expat, DD1, who received the punch in the face, doesn't have SN and is a pretty chilled girl most of the time, so she coped and her decision not to be ostracised isolated at breaks whilst the perpetrator carried on as normal was one she could handle. DD2 however, has also been bullied and has some issues, not sure what, but is at 13.5 intelligent but socially very immature. The bullying she suffered, together with a sustained campaign of intimidation and aggression from a parent when she was younger (another thread in itself!), has taught me that DD1 was and is very fortunate to have overcome her own experience without major problems and that a child who is not as self-assured or who has difficulties can really suffer and be affected by violence and bullying for a very long time after the event.

oldernowiser · 28/06/2010 22:51

If she's not got long to go, doesn't enjoy it, and isn't going to get great grades why not think about something like home schooling (if it's an option), loads of stuff like Duke Of Edinburgh, loads of practical/vocational stuff and work experience somewhere? Is there anything that really appeals to her?

My son was in this situation 15 years ago and effectively left school and discovered that he loves proper physical graft (he also managed to have 2 children who've lived with us since they were tiny, but that's a different story) He's a lovely man now, works in the print industry and has a lovely partner and expecting another baby (who won't live with us!) but still hasn't got a single qualification

School success sometimes just isn't going to happen, but there are opportunities to go back later, and I found letting go of it was a huge relief to both of us as the end of bullying was the start of his life.

This approach might not be right for you, but I just wanted to share the 'light at the end of the tunnel' that I found. School is not the only thing that matters!

Original poster

Poshwellies · 28/06/2010 22:52

Yes expat,dd confidence isn't great ,think it's mainly due to poor spatial awareness that makes her quite 'clumsy' ,she can't get to grips with peoples personal space etc but has a good circle of friends albeit a small group and is pretty much a typical 15 yr old.

I'm well aware that she could of been singled out due to her learning disabilities though.

Her reading is actually very good just struggles to put words on to paper (far easier on pc) and to retain information plus she struggles with all sports (didn't learn to ride a bike until 11 and we've had alot of issues with personal hygiene-which thankfully we've got sorted now)

OP posts:

oldernowiser · 28/06/2010 22:53

Sorry, forgot to say he's also dyspraxic

FlookCrow · 28/06/2010 23:04

Fantastic, glad to hear she's going back again Poshwellies. Hope the school sort it out.

mcmen71 · 26/02/2019 13:48

how did this end for you as I am in similar situation

recrudescence · 26/02/2019 13:57

This all happened nearly nine years ago.

mcmen71 · 26/02/2019 14:20

Yes I know it happened 10 years ago but I wanted to know if her daughter has been ok since as I don't know what is best approach to take whether involving police had a negative or positive effect. Im only asking a question recrudenscence

recrudescence · 26/02/2019 14:27

Fair enough.

SuchAToDo · 26/02/2019 14:31

That's awful, they may not have spare officers to send out to your house, but surely they must have some at the police station (they can't leave it unmanned)..I'd be tempted to take dd down to police station in person and tell them what happened and make a statement there and then if you can...

That is disgusting that it happened in a school, where your dd should have been safe, I would not let this drop..

I hope your dd is ok, this is bound to affect her emotionally/ mentally as well as the physical marks on her,..

CustardySergeant · 26/02/2019 14:37

SuchAToDo Look at the date of the OP.

APlaceInTheWinter · 26/02/2019 14:43

mcmen you may be better tagging the OP ( @PoshWellies ) if you want a response. I doubt this will be in their active threads after all this time.

cottonwoolbrain · 26/02/2019 14:55

I'm sorry she must be so shaken up and shocked. I've been assualted and its the shock even more than the actual injury that was so frightening.

I've not been so lucky having been the victim of 2 fairly nasty assualts. The first the police were only called after I'd been taken to A&E and they did not turn up until the next morning. The second they were called by a neighbour while it was taking place and the police were there within a few minutes so regrettably I think the next day thing is normal if its after the assualt.

Give her lots of cuddles and rest.... sounds like an afternoon for snuggling up with your lovely dd and watching a film (her choice) together. Yes to the photos but don't worry too much you've got a medical record now and presumably there were witnesses at school?

I hope the police take it seriously when they finally arrive and that your poor dd heals up quickly.

listsandbudgets · 26/02/2019 14:56

Oh damn... didn't spot the date... what's this doing in my active threads after all this time? (thought it was an odd time of year for Glastonbury should have double checked!)

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 26/02/2019 14:57

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE for anyone else who isn't reading the full thread properly.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 26/02/2019 14:58

ZOMBIE THREAD ALMOST NINE - 9 - YEARS OLD!

ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD

FrogsAreMean · 26/02/2019 15:51

CuriousaboutSamphire
So is this a Zombie thread by any chance?

MaybeitsMaybelline · 26/02/2019 16:06

I cant imagine for one second the OP is still monitoring this thread 😂

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/02/2019 16:25

I can’t remember what I did 9days ago let alone 9 years ago
Jeeze
The dd in question is probably post university by now
Really wish threads could be locked after a period of time

recrudescence · 26/02/2019 16:45

Very unfair - mcmen71 is only asking a question.

Nothinglefttochoose · 26/02/2019 16:53

The school simply saying @she is being dealt with@ is not good enough. Demand a meeting with the girls parents and the headmaster. Make it clear to them you are laying an assault charge with the Police.

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