To think teachers do not need birthday gifts from pupils.

[livingontheedge]

Last year it was the teacher's 40th Birthday and the kids all clubbed together (well the parents did) and bought her a cake.

This year I was a bit surprised to learn that their teacher had shared her birth date with the kids too! Yesterday morning half the class tripped in with Birthday Gifts for the teacher - I clearly didn't - but my dd was very embarrassed and I bit upset that she didn't have a gift for her teacher.

So now at our school the expectation is that you buy the teacher a Christmas Gift, an Easter Egg, a End of Year Gift and now a bloody Birthday Present too and because the vast majority do it - you look mean or unhappy with the teacher if you don't.

I really think the school should put an end to all this present nonsense - a homemade card or a drawing is fine, but don't you get the feeling this has all gone a bit mad?

No of course teachers don't need birthday gifts. However, I have an ex-pupil who still tries to send me an orange every birthday, even if sometimes it is just a virtual one now! She even arranged for somebody else to deliver an orange to me when she was out of the country.

YANBU it sounds very out of hand and a bit too much tbh. I worked for the local authority with people with LD and there is noway I would let on when my birthday was, totally unprofessional. I usually took holiday on my birthday anyway!

Maybe they should start having start of the week presents, end of the week presents and hump-day presents too?

If I were a teacher I wouldn't want the kids knowing it was my birthday...

Giving is good, generally. Presumably the teacher hasn't actively solicited tatt gifts, so they are all from the hears of the puils. What are your concerns?

That's ridiculous, of course teachers shouldn't get birthday presents from the children, she doesn't buy them presents does she?
My class know my birthday, but that's because we have birthday sweets in school, and I brought some in to share with them.

I do like the idea of a virtual orange though!

I tell kids if it is nearly my birthday, because I tell everyone! But it's not in the slightest a hint for gifts (sometimes I get sung at, which is plenty for me).

I don;t tell the children when my birthday is (am a TA these days, was a teacher) but sometimes they do find out. I would have never expected a gift but have in the past recieved one or two. Of course i thank them, but do feel a bit embarrased too.

TBH though on my birthday at school I take in a treat for the class, rather than have them give me gifts.

My birthday was in the holidays this year, but if not, I take in something for the children. I never tell them in advance though. If they ever ask me, I just tell them the month and will not tell them the date.

yanbu

Of course teachers don't "need" birthday gifts from pupils. But I don't see how it's something that schools should deal with - in you OP, you seem to imply that the teacher is somehow at fault and that something official needs to be done.

For what it's worth, I've been teaching 13 years and have never experienced any teacher getting any gifts from pupils on their birthday.

Some people know when my birthday is, but I certainly wouldn't expect presents. Do you know for definite that the teacher expected presents? If she didn't then YABU, it is up to the individual. I think the 40th thing is different, 'milestone' birthdays are nice to celebrate.

I do admire parents who don't follow the herd.
I've had lovely and expensive gifts from parents and children that have actively disliked me and I found that very odd.
Not the disliking you understand

Let me cut and paste the last 'teacher appreciation' email from my children's former school....

"Dear parents,
I wanted to thank you so very much for your generous donations to our Room 8 teacher appreciation fund. We had 20 out of 22 families participating and collected a total of $1180.
During the room 8 holiday party, Ms Teresa received your gift of $400. She was so delighted and appreciative. Additionally, our special subject teachers were given $50 holiday gifts from our class. Thank you for showing our teachers your appreciation through your generosity."

This was in addition to cakes, flowers etc. for birthdays. The fundraising in US private schools is absolutely out of control. Yet another reason I'm very, VERY glad we're HEing nowadays.

I think YANBU. It certainly should have something 'done' officially to put a stop to it.

EvilTwins - you say you knew of no teachers getting birthday gifts, but did they get an Easter Egg or other seasonal gifts? What if some teacher does not celebrate Christmas (or Easter) ?

From the OP : "Christmas Gift, an Easter Egg, a End of Year Gift and now a bloody Birthday Present too"

Yes, I think maybe an end of year gift (esp if the teacher might not see the pupils again, either teacher moving on, or pupils changing school) but two of the others are for Christian festivals, and might even offend, and the birthday gift is surely unwarranted (and if solicited, unprofessional, too).

carmen - where is this school and how can I apply??

Have never had a birthday card or present in 18 years of teaching.

It's all very kind but I don't want the end of term ones/Xmas ones either - rather parents spent it on their children esp. we are all now strapped for money. and some parnets always go to far and make it all about how they give a bigger/better present tha others which is horrible for the children.

No, all it needs is parents to grow a backbone and say no to excessive demands from other parents. Do they crumble in the face of high-pressure sales pitches in other aspects of their lives?
Are they shallow enough to think that teachers will punish their child if tribute is not offered like some petty deity?
Just don't follow the herd and the cult will wither away.

Judy... It's a San Diego 'Montessori' school although I use the term 'Montessori' very loosely.

Goblin. I agree. These sorts of gifts should be entirely personal and optional otherwise they're pretty much meaningless. It's the same argument as for tipping.

NetworkGuy - nah, I teach secondary. No one bothers to get secondary teachers presents. Ever. Unless they leave. And I think you're being totally OTT to suggest that something "official" should be done. What do you suggest? A new law?

YANBU.

I'm a teacher. I don't tell the pupils when my birthday is.
One year some found out.
They sang me "Happy Birthday"

Carmen, don't teachers get paid really badly in the US? I know their maternity leave etc is appalling. They probably need the money

I have never been bought a birthday present, but if a child should happen to buy me one in the future, rest assured I will thrust it straight back into their hands along with a tersely worded note about professional standards. Then give them detention. Twice.

Tethers, you're probably right although it's the same for everyone. The job market is horrible and maternity pay is practically non-existant.

I think we were probably a bit our of our league

I am always shocked at US maternity leave.

I suppose treating gifts as unsolicited bribes might work.
Punish the child and prosecute the parent.

As a teacher myself, I might share that today was my birthday with my kids, but would never expect a gift. I'd be mortified if I got one tbh, so would never tell in advance. But if I had a particularly excitable year 8 on my birthday for example, I might joke that they give me a really nice birthday by being ever so ever so good. Usually works, lol.