To think teachers do not need birthday gifts from pupils.

[livingontheedge]

Last year it was the teacher's 40th Birthday and the kids all clubbed together (well the parents did) and bought her a cake.

This year I was a bit surprised to learn that their teacher had shared her birth date with the kids too! Yesterday morning half the class tripped in with Birthday Gifts for the teacher - I clearly didn't - but my dd was very embarrassed and I bit upset that she didn't have a gift for her teacher.

So now at our school the expectation is that you buy the teacher a Christmas Gift, an Easter Egg, a End of Year Gift and now a bloody Birthday Present too and because the vast majority do it - you look mean or unhappy with the teacher if you don't.

I really think the school should put an end to all this present nonsense - a homemade card or a drawing is fine, but don't you get the feeling this has all gone a bit mad?

Anyone else get this one? Constant requests from other parents to chip into collections. The e-mail gushes that 'most people are giving £10' at Christmas and then one teacher got married, another one had a baby and the replacement teacher left at the end of the term. Birthdays they haven't cottoned onto yet, thank god.

I'm not anti-gifts in principle but I think they should be voluntary and down to the individual.... not some kind of unofficial cash bonus.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. This teacher does not want your gifts! I have enough picture frames and candles to start a shop. These are often presented at the end of the year, when all I want to hear is how much the child has enjoyed school.

I really don't want birthday presents as well. Thank you. I consider that announcing your birthday to your class is very unprofessional.

I actually liked one US teacher gift tradition that I heard occurs some places (definitely state school). That is the teachers hae a "wish list" of things like: Glue sticks, coloured pencils, fluffy pom poms, googly eyes, tissues, etc. So when parents wanted to buy a gift, they bought something off that list and it helped the class.
So much better than a Best Teacher mug from a kid who hates you! My kids usually give something edible, preferably home made. So its not expected to hang around for ages.

As a teacher, I can take or leave presents from my students. But I treasure, and have never ever thrown away, cards and thankyou messages.

A simple, personal message written by hand by the child that thanks the teacher for the impact he or she has had on them is priceless beyond all measure. I also keep thankyou notes from parents too.

Your child spends a lot of his or her time with their teacher. Particularly in Reception/ KS1 they come to adore them. I see my DD's teacher almost as I would her CM or nanny - she is her main carer during the day.

My DD knows that you mark the birthdays of people you care about, so if she had been told that it was her teacher's birthday, she would have wanted to make her a card or take her some wobbly chocolate muffins - in exactly the same way that she would for her other carers. It's healthy to think about making other people happy, and when you are five or six, you can't imagine anything making you more happy than having a birthday, or more sad than your birthday passing unmarked. That's all it is. Taking in presents at Easter has started, I think, because people have started to buy their DCs Easter presents in recent years and DCs assume that this is what is done.

Marking a birthday doesn't have to imply a consumer shopping fest. All teachers love to receive handmade / written notes, even if they don't have room to keep them all for ever.

I think that far too many people overlay their views with their own hang-ups from being surly adolescents who were certain that their teachers hated them (even though most of us don't have the time or energy to expend that strong an emotion on a single pupil!) It's an expression of attachment; no more; no less, which generally tapers out at the end of the primary years - reflected in how we secondary teachers rarely get anything, as by then we are taken for granted and just about tolerated.

At secondary school, we held a birthday party (complete with presents and cake) for our A level maths teacher in one of the lessons after she had accidentally revealed her birthday. She was a very strict, old-fashioned teacher who really ensured that we knew our stuff but we knew that underneath that tough exterior, she really did like us and was very touched by our surprise.

I take cakes in for my class & staff on my birthday, certainly don't expect anything back!
Any staff leaving, having babies, getting married have staff collections but parents often have their own collections. As far as my dcs are concerned we keep gifts small & inexpensive!