to not turn up for my exams?

[clemettethedropout]

Last year I gave up one career with the plan of studying for another. I am coming to the end of my first year of study and have decided not to return in September. I have made this decision because of the amount of exams I have had to do - fifteen so far, with the four big end of year exams next week. I have enjoyed the learning, but as each exam approached I felt myself becoming depressed, going from someone who is naturally energetic and hard-working to someone who sat staring at books in despair.

I have worked myself into the ground all year, working until midnight seven nights a week, but since deciding not to continue I have slacked off and have left starting my revision far too late. So once again I am sat here depressed. There is not enough time to even learn the whole syllabus to even a surface level, and the subject material is not such that I can blag my way through.

So, given that I don't want to continue, AIBU to just give it up, and try and get back to being me?
Self-indulgent post I know, but I am going round and round in circles so am throwing it open to the MN jury!

I might stop studying go sit the exam and re-evaluate how you feel after you have done the exams. You may change your mind hope it works out what ever you decide.

I think you know the answer.

You would not be unreasonable.

You've worked bloody hard, given it a good go, but it's time to give yourself a break now.

(it's me, by the way - left a comment on your Facebook about haemoglobin - in case you don't recognise my name!)

Thanks. It is a bit of a shock to the system - I have been in education in one form or another for 31 years and I have never felt like saying "sod it" before. It is a bit of a shock to the system which is why I think I am tying myself up in knots about it.

See - so much of a shock that I feel the need to say it twice

True wisdom is knowing when to say "sod it".

There is always enough time. Is this your second year?

No, first (although the nature of the course is that it's two undergraduate years condenses into one).
The topic areas/potential question areas for next week runs to 37 pages of single spaced, font 10 bullet points. It is definitely too late!

I remember feeling that at the end of every year at uni (I was working full time, had a little one (pregnant in my first year) and studying full time), it got to the end of the year and I could barely function let alone be ready for the exams.

Can you put in extenuating circumstances to cover the exam period (perhaps visit your doctor and get a stress note) so that this is taken in to account.

My mum was the one that helped me through it, when I felt like you, she told me to "you've worked so hard throughout the year and its better to try than just let all that hard work go to waste".

At least if you sit your exams, you've kept your options open in the future. Once you get over the exhaustion, you might find you miss the studying or want to try again part time or something.

Focus on your strongest areas, gloss your weakest - there are always resits in the summer to give you more time to prepare for those if needed - but you'd be surprised - one exam I answered just 2 (5 mark) questions and spelt my name right and got 9% - nearly a quarter of a way to a pass mark :-)

Good luck, whatever you decide to do

Bringonthesun, although it feels crap, it is also reassuring that other people have felt the same. I do have extenuating circumstances (my two year old doesn't sleep for more then three hours at a stretch and never has so my memory is shot), but all it means is that I get another chance of a resit next year. I was hoping that it would mean that they could take the other results (I have passed 14/15 so far although each time has taken me to the depths of this same crisis).

Thanks for everyone's comments. It is really helpful, and an improvement on DH's "whatever you want to do darling."

By sitting the exams you have nothing to lose. By not going you have nothing to gain.

I suppose it wouldn't do any harm to turn up and have a look at the paper - do they mind if you leave early?
I didn't stay for the full 3 hours in some of my exams. Passed most of them.

I know, it is ridiculous really but the self-pity had rendered me incapable. The exams next week are on all 15 "modules" at once.

The ironic thing is that I taught for so many years that I have loads of techniques for motivating 16 and 18 year olds to keep going, yet my brain/body/motivation have just given up!

Thanks everyone. You are right of course, I have nothing to lose apart from a bit of a pride by turning up and doing badly. I will drag my sorry backside to the library tomorrow to fight the lure of MN/housework/Come Dine with me/ collecting the children early to play etc etc.

Well done You really do have nothing to lose. You're an educated person, you know how these exams work. Common sense can go a long way (unless you're studying maths, in which case... eek!)

It might be worth taking a bit of a gamble. Pick the modules you like. Study those. Hope they come up.

Not surprising that you've reached that point, but glad you've decided you've got nothing to lose by doing it.

Don't forget to factor in some chill out time as well this weekend, (actual chill out time, not housework/essential stuff unless you find it relaxing :-)) it really doesnt stick if you are cramming non-stop.

Wow all 15 modules at once, no wonder you've hit that incapable wall - that probably feels like quite a monster to tackle - but remember to keep telling yourself its not impossible (says the queen of last minute - still cramming as we were waiting outside of the room). And if the worse happens in the exams, and you really can't answer anything - at least you will have 30 minutes of absolute peace to clear your mind and think about what you are going to do with all that time when the studying stops :-)

Don't know what you are studying - but if you need a hand breaking up the subjects into managable chunks or someone to fire questions at you, just say, I'm sure I or someone on here could help :-)

You haven't said what your course is, but if it's what I'm thinking (a 5-year course condensed to 4) don't worry. The point is you passed the other exams so there is knowledge in there! Give it a shot and re-evaluate once you have the results. And remember, children grow up!

Good luck !

Thank you. I am doing medicine but my original degree was in history. The psychology and actual disease side of it is manageable and even interesting to revise, but the hard science is just too hard! I have understood each thing as the year has gone on, but can't commit all the facts to memory, and have no real motivation now I have decided not to put myself through any more exam hell next year.
Never has Come Dine With Me been so compelling...

I feel exactly the same about exams and am emotionally scarred by a bad experience. I get into such a state I am sure I just can't do exams.

However, I would suggest you do go and just have a go. If you don't, you may exaggerate this in your subconscious, just as I have. That means if you choose to do something involving exams in the future, you will have actual proof that you get yourself into such a state that you can't go to the exam.

If you do go and do badly, you can explain it away to yourself as being exhausted, unmotivated and not needing the result. However, you will know that however bad a state you were in, you could turn up for the exam.

Good luck with your decision!

Clemette, it is so hard to get onto the 4-year course, well done you! But don't give up now.
Sit the exams. When sat in front of those papers it will come back.

We'll all be keeping our fingers crossed for you. GO GET THEM!!

Thanks. I did have a wobble earlier and phone to see what would happen if I just didn't turn up!
Have donea bit of revision - not enough to actually pass, but enough to stop myself weeping in the exam room.
By Thursday they will be done, I could close the door on it, and move on. It is very weird though - I have never not worked hard and it feels a bit scary.

You have to give it a go, I think you will regret it if you don't.

If you fail is there the possibility of resits?