to not turn up for my exams?

[clemettethedropout]

Last year I gave up one career with the plan of studying for another. I am coming to the end of my first year of study and have decided not to return in September. I have made this decision because of the amount of exams I have had to do - fifteen so far, with the four big end of year exams next week. I have enjoyed the learning, but as each exam approached I felt myself becoming depressed, going from someone who is naturally energetic and hard-working to someone who sat staring at books in despair.

I have worked myself into the ground all year, working until midnight seven nights a week, but since deciding not to continue I have slacked off and have left starting my revision far too late. So once again I am sat here depressed. There is not enough time to even learn the whole syllabus to even a surface level, and the subject material is not such that I can blag my way through.

So, given that I don't want to continue, AIBU to just give it up, and try and get back to being me?
Self-indulgent post I know, but I am going round and round in circles so am throwing it open to the MN jury!

There are resits but I definitely won't sit those. At the age of 36 I am behaving like a truculent teenager.

I knew what you were studying before you said it, because your op resonated so very closely to my own feelings in the last 2 months.

I've just finished my first year of 5. I've often felt that I'm wasting my time and regularly become intent on quitting. I was convinced that I failed this year, so was surprised and delighted when I found out that I passed. The volume is incredible, so I can only imagine how much you must have to remember on the 4-year course.

I recommend the crash course books - succinct but reasonable detail, along with lots and lots of redbull. I survived on about 2 hours sleep a night for 4 weeks.

Are there any areas in particular you are struggling with? I have some notes I could email if you like.

I think that lots of medics feel this way. Most don't have children, and the time constraints that you do, so try not to be too hard on yourself.

Good luck for your exams.

Thanks roomforthree. I have actually decided to take a step back and do the paramedic training course instead. I want the clinical without the (so many) exams! I have enjoyed the year - it has taught me a great deal, but I have also found out that I am not suited to a career that involves so much intensive study. I don't want it badly enough to do what is necessary!
Congratulations on passing year one and have a nice summer

Now, don't think in the negative. So much of this course is positive thinking. There's a huge amount to remember, so read to understand and it will stick with you.

Good Luck

The sheer volume med students need to remember is terrifying

I would quite like to do it (have to choose soon, get to apply in september) bu the amount to remember is terrifying

I presume that clemette is doing a five year course if history was her first degree?

Good luck and don't give up now. You will find you remember more than you think. Not long to go now, keep going for a few more days.

Roomforthree - congratulations and have a nice summer.

Do you think you'll want to drop out even if you pass?

Hope the studying is going OK.

Cristina - thanks. I'm enjoying my break and spending time with my DC.

Hi Clemette,

Just wanted to sympathise. I was on the four year course, straight after I finished an arts-type degree. I thought it was going to kill me. Like you I just could not get my head around the pure science stuff. I sat the exams, but was sure I would fail and that that would provide me with a way out. I actually passed, and really quite well, so don't write yourself off just yet.

So I just carried on through 3rd year (or my 2nd year) and by the end of that had had it and was determined to quit and not even take the exams. I did two days revision and gave up. Everyone told me to take the exams anyway, which I did, working on the same theory as the year before, and I bloody passed again

Anyway, that was last summer, I stood my ground (despite it turning out that everyone thought I'd just had a wobble and would keep going when I passed) and refused to go back. Best decisions ever. I was so swamped by it all, and now everything is going so much better. I'm technically on a year out, but I have ds1 due in October, so wont be back next year, and doubt I will be at all.

I'm really glad I did it though, I've learnt some great things, not least that you just have to want it more than anything else, and I don't.

Anyway, all that was basically meant to say - if you decide to do it, it can be done, it's not as impossible as it seems, but you're not the only one to think it is. But that if you decide it's all too much, then you're not the only person to think that either.

It's a beast of a course.

Sorry, my post was more of an incoherent ramble. It was meant to be supportive

Breathtaking, it is the four year course. I sat the GAMSAT.
Fingon, thank you so much for your post, it really helps to know that someone understand exactly what I am feeling. Being a doctor would be great but I can't feel like this for the next three years and beyond. I completely underestimated how much purely factual exams would take out of me (too many years of history waffle ) and I simply don't want to put myself through it any longer.
MCQs today. I may have scraped a pass but who knows. Nasty science essays tomorrow...

PS roomforthree, yes will still leave if I pass.

Hi Clemette, how did the MCQs go?

I don't want to press the matter, but I thought I'd tell you some stuff that you might find helpful.

I remember getting the willies really badly when I sat my second MB, and vomited all night, every night for nearly two weeks. My mother stroking my head whilst listening to Doris Day (please don't laugh) were the only things to calm me down enough to catch a few minutes sleep before the next trip to the bathroom. I looked dreadful, but I lost loads of weight .

Once you get onto the really interesting clinical section you'll find that the approach to learning will change, and there will be more time during the day when you can learn/revise between timetabled sessions. Also there will be structured teaching with team members constantly reinforcing the bread and butter stuff.
The best advice I got was "Read to understand, don't read to remember".

Please do not dwell on your age. I've come across plenty of GAMSAT students who are over 40 when they sit their finals (the majority are women too). They tend to be very different learners from the adolescents.

The exams do stop, and some specialities have fewer exams than others once you've qualified. But remember, nothing is new, and when you carry on sitting exams it is the same stuff over and over again.

Wishing you all the best and the courage to make the right decision for you.

Thanks Lady Spratt.
The MCQs were OK considering. I may ave scraped a pass in those. The first MEQ was OK (I did some cramming the night before and a lot of what I crammed came up). The second, however, was a total car crash and I will be surprised if I even got 20%.

I'm glad I did them though so thanks for everyone's encouragement.

just think how many people you could help as a doctor... and how long you have already worked for... it'll be worth it. medicine is not easy, but few disciplines are nearly as important!

Thank you, but I am decided. I am keen to have a balanced life that involves seeing my children at weekends, going to bed before 1am and still helping people!

Sorry. But if this is the way you feel why did you ever enter medicine.

We don't have balanced lives or see our children at weekends............

This post has made me sad. There are so many people who want places to do these courses and there are two of you on here who have got one and left.

Me, I did it as an "adolescent" (I really appreciate that comment BTW) and I'm still doing fucking exams and being called a trainee.

I wish you all the best in the future but I also advise anyone else who is considering medicine to be directed to this thread or anyone who is doctor bashing.

Gasman What a nasty attitude. Do you think she had a crystal ball that would show her exactly how she'd feel one year down the line?

She's feeling low anyway - so you have a go at her when she's down. Nice.

Lovely bedside manner you have, I'm sure.

gasman, what an odd attitude. Plenty of people decide that medicine is not for them at some point in their journey - the dropout rate for our undergraduates is very high, it is much lower on graduate entry.
When I started the course I was convinced by the promises that the EWTD would have kicked in by the time I got to F1. That is not happening of course, so I choose not to make myself unhappy for the next three years with the reward being 16 hour shifts.
Instead I have applied to do something else in healthcare which will mean I can use my clinical knowledge, save lives AND have a family life.
I don't doubt that many people can balance entering medicine later in life with having a family, but I couldn't.

Gasman - op is on 4-year course, which is far more intense than the 5-year, and even more so when you throw a couple of children into the equation.

I'm on the 5-year, and with 3 DC and a 1.5 hour commute each way, it's been harder than I imagined. I've managed to complete my first year, but not without doubts that I'd made the wrong choice.

I can't imagine how much pressure the op must be under when she's doing DOUBLE the amount of work that I have done, whilst trying to balance her family life.

Some empathy wouldn't go amiss...

Studying for any career change can be immensely difficult.

If I were you I would ask yourself if it is just these exams right now, or exams in general, that you aren't up to. If you could put in for extenuating circumstances and have a chance to revise for the exams again and sit them in Sept, would that take the pressure off, or add to it?

It's not a crime to change your mind about studying/a career change. In fact, it is far more sensible and mature to decide 'actually, this is not for me' and bow out early.

Good luck whatever you do.

My Dbrother has beren doing medicine as a graduate on the 5 year course and despite coming fresh from University and getting ac1st in Maths as his first degree he has found it immensely hard and has hit the same wall. He's carrying on but not without a lot of angst and worry.

Good luck to all of you on this course.

Clemette - I really admire your courage in admitting that you got it wrong. It is very difficult to do and there are lots of doctors working on very unhappy because they can't quite bring themselves to do so.

However I am sad that your research beforehand didn't tell you that
a) medicine involves lots of exams both as an undergraduate and postgraduate
b) we work lots of antisocial hours

Although I have to say I currently don't know anyone who is still doing 16hr shifts (apart from those who are still on proper 24hr on call rotas and actually, in general, they are better for work life balance/ continuity of care/ training etc).

The best quote I ever heard whilst a student was when walking to one of my exams. Two posh art students were walking behind me
"those bloody medical students - they think they have it so hard - they just have to memorise a couple of telephone directories 3 times a year...."

Thanks for your reply gasman. I have always been good at exams so didn't think they would faze me so the reality has been a shock. I don't think my retention has been helped by the fact that my teo year old wakes every three hours EVERY night though...

Antisocial hours are fine, and my new (hopefully) role is shift work, but my daughter started school this January, and I think that's when it hit me that I would like to be able to book time off to go to sports days/special assemblies etc.

Thanks again to everyone for your replies.

Just an update (and a big thank you for all of your advice). I passed my exams.
It has come as a bit of a shock and made me wobble a bit yesterday, but the fact still stands that the exams made me feel like that and I don't want to do anymore!!
Thanks again for all of the encouragement.

Hi clemette,
Just wanted to say clinical years are so much better as a medical student. Lots easier and a lot more interesting! You sure you don't want to give it a go? Xx

Clem, i'm pleased for you.