how do they expect you to live when everything goes up!!

[mommmmyof2]

I am sooo sick of everything rising apart from mine or my husbands wages!! We struggle at the best of times to get through every week and i just had a promotion and what for....so they can take benefits off us and to be taxed more on it!
I sometimes feel the harder you work the harder it is, i not sure how they expect you to survive these days, and when your children are asking for things and all you ever say is no then you feel like a bad mom

you are not alone

Maybe I'm being naive but hasn't the cost of many things actually come down pretty significantly since we were kids?

ie material goods: clothing, electronics, houshold goods etc.

Gas and leccy have gone up, as has food.

But our standard of living is way better then our parents had, and unrecognisable compared to our grandparents.

When I was a kid it was normal for each household to have one small black and white TV and one telephone in the hall.

Now almost all families have a large colour TV with multi channel, wii etc and a mobile phone each. There's a thread about this over on in the news just now.

thing is we not living back in them days, my mom told me how she used to go the cinema with something like 50p so i get where your coming from but when you are working and always have to just barely make ends meat is pretty annoying, well to me anyway

Who do you hold responsible for the lack of money you have, OP?

Sorry the thread I mentioned is actually here on AIBU, entitled 'being poor isn't what it used to be'.

Post your income and budget - mumsnetters are really good at saving money and perhaps people can see where you can make savings.

Maybe you won't have to say 'no' always then

i sort of dispute that morris, my mum and dad could afford to take us abroad and my dad is 80 now.

i think the average wage has remained the same for too long.

and what's funny is that we're blamed for the trouble the country is in. 'we' overspent so must now help get the country out of debt.

i didn't get it in trouble

I think food used to account for a third to a half of income so I dont think food has gone up - its actually come down proportionally to average income.

When we were kids it was normal for my parents to have to say no to everything - presents, holidays, toys etc. I was delighted when I got a second hand bike. It wont hurt our children to have to hear no regularly and it doesnt make you a bad mum - if anything it will be better for them.

My parents both worked about 50 hours a week each and we had to eat snared rabbit as couldnt afford meat from butcher. I remember it vividly! Even though I am in the same position as you op, (havent had a holiday abroad since had children, no money at end of month, both work long hours etc) and i can see where you are coming from - imo you are wrong. Even now with cuts we are still better off than previous generations.

thank you lauriefairycake i will try that, and i agree southeastastra, i have never had any credit card or anything, i just try to live the best i can for me and my children.
I blame people with the power as i think in many ways the system is flaued!

I am talking about the rural previous generation where I grew up. It was normal for everybody to be broke when I was a kid - there was a distinct difference between the few that had holiday homes in the area and all of us locals!

What do you dispute, southeast?

In real terms, the cost of itens such as microwaves, DVD players and TVs has tumbled, as as the price of clothing. That is an economic fact.

Services haven't become cheaper but most manufactured goods have.

Just as an example - I got my mitts on some vintage Just 17 mags for a laugh, to remind me of my teenage years in the early 1980's. The fashion and makeup featured was priced at exactly what it would be now, or indeed it was more expensive. 'Tights, 5.99. Lipstick, 4.99. Leggings, 22.99' etc etc. Today's youth has Primark, New Look etc and modern wages paying their pocket money.

And we were buying that stuff out of pocket money from our parents earning 1980's wages.

Doesn't anybody remember when the lady down the street got her husband to buy her a microwave oven, to huge fanfare? Now a microwave costs the same as a round of drinks, and you can buy a DVD player for less than the cost of a box set of DVDs.

that our standard of living is better than our parents - sorry lots of posts in between

i am not talking about tv's or things like that, i am talking about things like our council tax goes up, so does our rent and alot of food at the supermarkets, also by daughters milk and lunch money, petrol ect ect but my wage has hardly moved! now how can you be expected to pay all the little rises when i am not getting any more money in my bank

Sorry SEA. Well I can't speak for your parents or anybody else's, but my own and all my friend's lived in what I would now consider to have been pretty much poverty.

And they were middle class.

Think of all the cultural norms now - taking kids to cafes and restaurants, going to the cinema every single time a new cartoon comes out, parties in private premises, new clothes, holidays etc. My own childhood featured none of those things but I don't think I was much poorer then the other kids, that's just how it was then.

Look at industries such as telly repairs etc, they no longer exist as people just replace things when they break, it's as cheap to do so.

My friend was telling me that when she doesn't have time to do the laundry she nips to Matalan on the way home and buys her son a new outfit. She is on a low income yet she can afford new clothes for him without it being a big deal. I only ever got new clothes if my granny was paying or it was a special occasion. My parents had to think long and hard about buying us say, a new pair of jeans, but kids jeans can be had now for the same price as a packet of frozen prawns.

I have seen lots of research that says that our standards of living at the poorer end of the spectrum is very much better than previous generations.

How did people cope without benefits to support them at times of dire need? If you lost your job in the past then you HAD to find another or neigbours gave you food for children and people got thin - very thin!

Now we all have the opportunity to have a roof and food. And it is usual to have lots of 'luxuries' - TV, holiday, car, christmas stocking presents, bottle of wine, trendy clothes.

Sorry I cannot see how things are harder. It has always been the norm for many of the population to 'struggle' and have to work very very hard to make ends meet.

mommyof2, most people are facing pay freezes just now, so everybody is in the same boat. But the reason you are expected to pay for services is because you use them.

It isn't the job of the poeple who charge you for petrol etc to ask first if you've had a pay rise.

Sorry - x posted saying you werent talking about TVs etc. But the fact is that in the past if you couldnt afford the equivalent of council tax you stopped the TV and then didnt pay the BBC licence or sky whatever but paid the essential bills. Or you moved to a smaller property. Or you moved close to work so didnt need a car.

We have choices now. My choice is to live near my family therefore no holdiays as house costs too much. We dont live near work for same reason so accept we cant have SKY TV but spend a lot on fuel for work. As I say - choices.

We know we would be much better off in a town house, near work, without a car. But we choose not to and therefore have no money at end of month!!!

perhaps microwaves are cheaper...but houses are not...my mum was an accountant during the 80s and earned 30 grand...some dont even earn that now!

when i left school i 1986 a good admin job paid roughly £12,000 and they still pay that, more or less now.

also i remember temping for £5 an hour and that's only gone up slightly.

pay for the general worker has remained stagnant for years.

I see your point op.
I have to think hard and save before buying the children clothes.(on eBay)
Never go out/on holiday.
only eat once a day to save food.

we can barely afford to get to work or eat now.
I'm dreading january.

pay freezes are pay cuts mate...is my gas bill going to go down next year?..travel to work?...

i really do not care whether people say it was worse, i am talking about NOW and to say that i pay for services because i use them ...well of course. But i am not wanting to be rich i am talikng about being able to buy food for my children!!

There were far more working class poor stuck in poverty mumcentre as education was a luxury. You were lucky your mum was professional so you probably had a fantastic life. I lived rurally where most people worked on the land - my father earned £7000 when I was a teenager. As did most of my friends parents.

I didnt know anybody well who owned their own house except when they started being able to buy their council houses. The nice houses in the area were owned by the 'gentry' or the rich from town.

And I am only 40!

Now I can truly say I dont know anybody who would say they were truly broke - even my single parent sister has money for a bottle or two of wine and runs a car.

I am sure I will get flamed for the above statement and have no doubt there are the odd genuine cases of poverty for various reasons - previous debt payoffs etc. But I dont know any - and am talking about the majority - not minority.

Dunno about anyone else but this situation sucks arse and I'm not going to just accept it!...i certainly wont pretend it doesn't affect me or matter because in the past people lived in worse conditions...

mumcentreplus - think you'll find even a trainee accountant would earn £30k in London these days. once qualified you'd expect minimum £50k.

as a nation, we are part of this economic crash, so regardless of whether we personally caused it or not, we now have to take some of the pain to help pay for it. no choice.

am loving the fact that people who are struggling to eat manage to get acces to a computer and the internet.....