We've downsized. Is it illegal or is my collegue BU?

[scatteredbraincells]

here goes, a few months ago we downsized. This means that DD and DS have to share a -fairly large- bedroom. They're 12 and just over 13 and they're best mates, they actually liked the idea.

Reasons for downsizing: mainly I wanted to go part-time which is helping immensely both my health and my relationship with my teenage children.
Our new place might have one room less, smaller living room and kitchen, but the kids' room is much bigger than before, it's a bungalow (which I love), better house in terms of materials' quality (no drafts, sturdier walls), it's detached and we have three times the garden space we had before. It's a longer commute to work, but we had factored that in. A bit further away from the centre, hence much cheaper.

We also LOOOOVE travelling, it's a very important thing for all four of us and although we know it's a luxury it would be the first thing to go if something had to give, we were willing to go smaller in order to keep the opportunity to do this.

As I said my kids are not babies and I'm very pleased with their level of maturity. We had discussed all this with them, and we made the decision to move as a family, they were excited about it.

If you're still reading (sorry ) collegue today dropped in convo that I had better keep secret than my kids are sharing a room as the SS might have something to say about it. I snorted saying that it was four of us sharing a room when I was a kid and noone cared, she responded that it was different times, it's now illegal to put children of different sex in the same room!!!! Siblings FFS!

I was fuming and was gonna give her a piece of my mind, but decided against it.

Had another chat with the children today, if they're happy with this arrangement now we've lived here for sometime, talked about their personal space and the fact they're growing up, they said they love it here, they love having a big garden to invite all their friends, it's easier for dd to help ds with homework and they like chatting before they sleep in the night.

I know it's not actually illegal (what a ridiculous claim) but what do you all think? Did we make a mistake??

They are at a difficult age for sharing A year or two more and its not going to be what they want wrt privacy friends etc.Could you divide it?

I think in terms of council houses, they won't put different gendered children in the same room, but I've never heard of it being illegal.

it's not illegal but can't imagine they'll still be happy when they're older, 15 and 17 say?

maybe you can share wirh dd later on though and ds with your partner?

Cross that bridge if you come to it. No point in panicking yet if they're getting on. It might never be a problem.

Its not illegal but could be v awkward for your kids as they get older and start to mature

They may love it at the moment, but considering they are 12 and 13 puberty will be kicking in soon if it hasn't already. I would monitor it carefully and if either of them starts to feel uncomfortable maybe re consider the arrangement.

Surely you can do what you want with your own children?

It's not illegal, it's just that for council housing you are counted as overcrowded if you have two children of opposite genders over a certain age sharing a room (here it is 12 I think). It doesn't necessarily mean they'll rehouse you, just that you get more points.

If their bedroom is big, can you divide it somehow? Maybe a curtain down the middle? I think they will want more privacy eventually.

I think if you are a council tenant there are rules re mixed sex rooms and age etc....but I don't think there are 'laws' around siblings sharing, if private rented or owned properties- but then I could be wrong- you could post in the 'legal' section where the lovely solicitors and lawyers frequent .

My best friend shared a room with her brother until she left home at 19, because...well just because. Not all of us can afford the rooms we would like. When my girls stay with ex they sleep in his bed (but he sleeps on sofa), althou DS has his own room.

As I say, check wi th =e legal peeps. x

As long as DS and DD are each happy I would think it's fine.
If the room is fairly large, maybe a stud partition wall later if they become unhappy?

dividing can be possible, they have a side of the room each with a loft bed/desk/wardrobe undernieth.

I know if you foster you need a room per child, but that's surely different.

I just got quite upset by her comment and her smirk, she was the one who asked me about the new house, she knew I had cut my hours and probably expected some misery story, but I'm so excited with our new place, it was a bargain. I felt like she pissed on my bonfire

Her motives may have been questionable but I do think longer-term its unrealistic/unfair to expect them to share.

FabsGettingFit, such a claim can put you in trouble in court [smirk]

You will need to do something though as they get older and bodies change etc and periods/boobs/morning erections etc become embarressing for them

Well, I believe it used to be the case that if you were in council accommodation, they were obliged to give you a bedroom for each sex if they were over a certain age and you requested it. Not sure how it works now, though. And if it is your own property, I don't see what anyone could/would do about it. BUT, personally, I would not be happy to have older children of different sexes in the same bedroom. Whilst they get on now, what about when they are 15 and 16 or so and want their privacy? There are some things that girls don't want to share with their brothers and the same goes for boys and sisters.

scatteredbraincells - I meant in relation to where you put them to sleep.

I know, only teasing

I think for a council house it is age 10 when a boy and a girl are classed as needing their own rooms.

I don't think it's a good idea.

Of course it is not illegal!

The SS have other fish to fry than children sharing bedrooms without issue of problem.

Of course it is not illegal!

The SS have other fish to fry than children sharing bedrooms without issue of problem.

Sorry

When they get older, as you have a large room you can make some simple adaptations.

YANBU

But if we had never been able to afford the three bedroom house, would she still make this comment?

I honestly don't worry about my children because we talk a lot about a lot of things. DD has had periods for about 3 years now, DS is still a baby.

I'm only pissed off with collegue. Because I was talking about a housewarming party now that my hours are sorted and we know what's what and have met the neighbours, and she seemed all excited until she found out it's a two bedroom bungalow. Stuck up cow!

I can't see them being happy with it once puberty kicks in. Unless they're happy to get changed in front of each other, it'd get really annoying having to go off the the bathroom to change clothes etc, then there's dealing with periods, erections etc as others have said.

Is there some way you can divide the room up? Maybe a curtain or large shelving unit?