We've downsized. Is it illegal or is my collegue BU?

[scatteredbraincells]

here goes, a few months ago we downsized. This means that DD and DS have to share a -fairly large- bedroom. They're 12 and just over 13 and they're best mates, they actually liked the idea.

Reasons for downsizing: mainly I wanted to go part-time which is helping immensely both my health and my relationship with my teenage children.
Our new place might have one room less, smaller living room and kitchen, but the kids' room is much bigger than before, it's a bungalow (which I love), better house in terms of materials' quality (no drafts, sturdier walls), it's detached and we have three times the garden space we had before. It's a longer commute to work, but we had factored that in. A bit further away from the centre, hence much cheaper.

We also LOOOOVE travelling, it's a very important thing for all four of us and although we know it's a luxury it would be the first thing to go if something had to give, we were willing to go smaller in order to keep the opportunity to do this.

As I said my kids are not babies and I'm very pleased with their level of maturity. We had discussed all this with them, and we made the decision to move as a family, they were excited about it.

If you're still reading (sorry ) collegue today dropped in convo that I had better keep secret than my kids are sharing a room as the SS might have something to say about it. I snorted saying that it was four of us sharing a room when I was a kid and noone cared, she responded that it was different times, it's now illegal to put children of different sex in the same room!!!! Siblings FFS!

I was fuming and was gonna give her a piece of my mind, but decided against it.

Had another chat with the children today, if they're happy with this arrangement now we've lived here for sometime, talked about their personal space and the fact they're growing up, they said they love it here, they love having a big garden to invite all their friends, it's easier for dd to help ds with homework and they like chatting before they sleep in the night.

I know it's not actually illegal (what a ridiculous claim) but what do you all think? Did we make a mistake??

12 is not a baby

he's a baby for his age re puberty kicking in.

Yes, the room can be easily divided

That can change overnight though.Your daughter should have privacy imo

Do you have a second reception room that could be comandeered in a couple of years and turned into a bedroom? Needs must and all that. There's nothing wrong with sharing rooms, I actually shared with my brother till I think he turned 12 and I turned 11. Then he hit puberty and took to the bathroom for about six hours a day to wash his hands and he was promptly squashed in my brothers rooms (3 of them in there).

LOL @ washing his hands. At least when you started washing your hands you had your own room

As you have a big garden, you could always chuck one into a summerhouse or caravan if they want more space. (I would have loved this!)

can someone please be MNsy to me and agree about what an annoying stupid bitch this woman is????? (now I know IABU but that's beyond the point)

TBH (and despite all your very valid reasons for doing it) its not something I would have done,so I can see why your collegue was a bit odd (U) about bit.

But if you're all happy then theres no problem.

So sod him and enjoy your new home.

Not sure bit odd converts to annoying stupid bitch.

"a bit odd" will do just fine, thank you

What a load of tosh, it's not flipping illegal!!!! although at their ages, they are soon going to want more privacy than they currently have.

Your colleague is a bit heavy handed with the word illegal but apart from that is being fairly reasonable She has gone from beong a bit odd to a bitch and a snob chill out!

I think it's judgy, stupid, wrong and annoying. She's probably not a bitch though, just all of the above. HTH

I shared a room with my brother until I was 15. We rigged a shower curtain up in the end. Didn't blight my life forever or anything.

Sorry I was under the impression that it was two daughters.

Still not illegal.

But, cosnidering their ages, and genders, I think it's a wee bit odd to expect them to share, although I guess they're happy.

it is odd, if you picture this: "we've moved house, it has a huge garden, it's detached, a bit of a commute, but I'm only gonna have to be here three days a week now, so no biggie"..... and a few sentences later the response is "oh, poor children... Be careful, I'm pretty sure this is illegal, SS wouldn't aprove"..

I mean, come on... WHO does that!!

Prob need a cup of chamomile tea

thank you ladies, this is what I was after, feel much better now

no it isn't - otherwise the council would have to rehome lots of people and they don't as it is not illegal.

i have friends that shared a bedroom in a two bed council house and the council refused to rehouse them and siad it wasn't illegal just that they try to aviod this if they can.

Not illegal but probably only a workable arrangement or a year or so i would think.

I can't see either of them wanting to get changed in front of each other for much longer, and once the masturbating starts (if not already!) then you'll never get in the bathroom again!

I know someone in a council house and 3 of thier children are sharing one bedroom, 17 yr old girl, a boy of roughly 11 and a little boy about 3. There have been on the list for a transter for a bigger house for several years. It must not be illegal as she would not be waiting for so long for a transfer. She did indicate that she would definnetly be getting a transfer soon as her dd is nearly 18 and that changes things as she counted as an adult and therefore illegal to share with a minor of opposite sex that not your child. But I dont know if that true or not.
I think if you are all happy with your arrangement then no one else should care.
In the future you may want to think of ways they can have a bit of privacy if needed. It might not look the best but just something simple like a curtain so they can have privacyto change

Scatteredbraincells, I usually ask idiots people quoting untrue facts/myths to email me a link to the relevant law/medical study. Depending on how annoying or well-meaning they are I either say "That's interesting but odd, could you send me a link to ..." or "Yeah, I'll believe that when you prove it by ...".

If you have lots more garden space would you be able to add on a room in a couple of years? Or possibly put a dormer room up in the loft?

we have already thought that we can put an acordeon (sp?) door down the middle if need be, it's a 220sq ft room, we gave them the biggest room in the house and kept the middle sized one for living room, as we thought we might have offer them the option of privacy later.

love it bran, I should have just done that rather just sitting there feeling my blood boiling

Not illegal, but possibly embarrassing for one or both. I had to share a room when I was 12-16 with my sister, 7 years younger, when I was going through puberty, and I really didn't like it. My parents put a large folding screen down the middle of the room which helped a lot. You might want to think of partitioning the room now, while they don't mind.

In Europe it is quite normal for the children of whatever sex to share rooms - they mostly live in flats.