to think that if school make Mother's Day cards with kids . . .

[zisforzebra]

they should also do Father's day cards.

I know some children won't want to make them, but the ones that do should be given a chance to. The school always do Mother's Day cards but never do anything for Father's Day and it seems really unfair.

AIBU?

i don't understand the argument that father's day is a made up holiday - both mother's and father's day were made up at some point, and both mums and dads deserve recognition!

In my school we didn't make mother's day cards, father's day cards a) so we couldn't be accused of favouritism, and b) because it didn't seem a stunning use of school money and resources. I guess it all depends on the school...

Good post seenyertoes

Whilst I agree that bereavement shouldn't be brushed under the carpet, and your DN school deal with this very well, I also think that there simply more absent fathers, in a greater variety of circumstances for the school to do a blanket "making fathers day cards activity"

I like your approach savoycabbage - offer it as an activity in Golden Time (do other schools have this? - basically free play )

I know where my sister is they don't do fathers day cards as there was a high percentage of children with single mothers {although a lot saw their dads]. Here they do them I also know 4 families who are brought up by a single dad and 3 of these lots of kids never see their mum.

Sports Day was sight to see too. They had about eight heats of the father's race.

yes, I would like to have seen that too ...

< lecheroous emoticon > [

Whiteflame - that's exactly what I was thinking. They are both made up days. MY mil thinks Fathers Day is not as important as Mothers Day. I told her that originally Mothering Sunday was a Christian festival celebrating the Mother church. It's just become Mothers Day. That put her off as she can't stand religion!

My dc have never made a Fathers Day card at school and I think that's a bit crap. I know we can make one at home, but it's the principle of the matter.

Luckily our school do both but if they didn't I would complain - unfair to do one and not the other.

Yes, some children dont have a dad but some dont have mothers either but we dont seem to take that into account.

My DS came home with a Father's Day card that he made at Pre-school. He's my first and has only been at the preschool for a couple of months so I'm new to the whole school thing but I would have been shocked if they said they did Mother's Day but not Father's Day.

You've got to do both or non IMO

As others have said, both were made up at some point so I don't get that argument and children live in a whole multitude of different family situations (1 mum and 1 dad, single parent, 2 mums, 2 dads, step parents, grandparents etc) so I don't think you can use the excuse of absent Father's either.

I think it should be both or neither, 'cause otherwise it does seem to be sending out the message that mothers [or mother figures] are more important than fathers [or father figures]. As someone else said, children don't understand Hallmark holidays.

Think though some teachers need to handle it better. When my best friend was in year two her dad died [the day before her birthday actually, it was horrible]. She made father's day cards as usual, until year four, when she wanted to make the clay thingamajigs we were all doing [candle holders or some shite] and put one on his grave. The teacher said she couldn't as it would get rained on and ruined. She even said she could put it inside a plastic bag, and the teacher still said no. She had to read a book instead. That teacher was a heinous bitch to everyone, but I still remember that as her worst act of injustice.

My daughter bought a fathers day picture home (laminated) for daddy on friday. However the nursery nurse (who knows DD doesnt live with her dad) was quick to point out it could be given to daddy or grandad. Thing is mothers day/mothering sunday is actually a christian thing and fathers day is in fact a gimmick thought up to make money for card companies etc. I wouldnt be upset if my daughter hadnt bought anything home for her dads fathers day, would have just sat her down with crayons and paper to create a masterpiece at home. nursery just saved me the bother thats all.

I agree with you OP.

Sadly we live in a time where mothers seem to think they are the be all and end all in a child's life .

Also I think there are a lot of "families" out there with out dad, as the old married with children now seems to be children with whom ever I fancy at the time.

Milady, I do not see how it is insensitive for those with a father to celebrate him, it is stupid to think because little Johnny does not have a daddy every child that does has to hide the face or be ashamed of it so as not to hurt little Johnny's feelings.

My father died when I was 12, never once did I think the world should stop mentioning people having fathers because I no longer had one.
It is rude, stupid and insensitive to suggest it should

If the children make mothers day cards then they should also make fathers day cards.Why should the responsible, good dads be denied a card off their lo, just because of the irresponsible shirker don't want to know dads, can't they do a card for grandad instead?those lo who have no father on the scene?

DS's school don't make anything for Mothers or Fathers Day, presumably because they're so righteously PC that they don't want to offend any families who don't have one or the other. I think it's a wee bit sad, but at least they're consistent.

We live on an army base so a big fuss is made of Father's Day. As it should be IMO. It takes 2 people to make a child so I think children should be given the chance to recognise that Dad's are important. If children can have time at school to make Mother's Day cards they should be given the chance to make Father's Day ones too.

All or nothing IMO.

Kids can make cards at home if they want to.
My kids school have been doing fathers day stuff this week at school, my girls didn't make a card but my son wanted a card to put in his dads memory box, he put a fathers day card in his dads coffin too, it was something he wanted to do.
I think schools should make it an option for kids.

YANBU and i aslo think its very sad. What are we teaching our children for god sake, that only moms matter, that dad dont count. we are conditioning our boys to accept being glorified sperm donners as the onlyt role they need fill with their children, and that our girls are free to procreate and then play lord and emporer over their childrens lives, as remeber dads dont count.

And i dont get the whole some kids dont have fathers thing, actually they all do, thats how they got here in the first place. They may have shit mothers but we dont hide mothers day!

Mothers day was made up once too, as was everything else we celebrate...

To be fair though - our school do a huge drive for mothers day - presents for sale, cards etc and NOTHING for fathers day. It must be so difficult to know what to do - good men should be valued in the same way good women are, hallmark gifts or not HOWEVER its so sad that so many children have absent male role models. This thread is very disheartening on both sides.

For Mother's Day, my DD (5) came home with... a card she had made, a self-made cardboard photo-frame, a red rose, and a Mother's Day poem.
This week she came home with....zilch! I did think it was a little bit curious, and was a bit bothered.
I think if anything, I was relying on her making the goodies at school, because I knew I wouldn't have much time to sit with her and help her make something at home (as with it being a crazy week potty training 2 toddlers and preparing to go away!) We did manage to whip up a quick card in the end and DH was very happy with that! To be honest he was just happy to have time with the DC since doesn't see them much in the week due to work.

I completely understand the absent/deceased father arguement of course, although I am not aware as yet of a child in DD's class who doesn't have a dad on the scene (but I could be wrong). I am however aware of a one child in the class who does not know their mother or have a mother figure in their life, so I don't know what they did when my DD was making all those things.

YANBU btw

There are some families headed by single fathers. I know, I was in one and we have 2 children in our class who are too. I think it's a shame some schools don't seem to attach the same level of value to fathers that they do to mothers.

BabyDubs makes some very good points. I wonder if it is also instilling the message that fathers dont stick around when in fact many do.

Our courts favour mothers whereas if the starting point was 50/50 after a split things would be a lot fairer and both parents would have input in the childs life rather than one weekend a fortnight.

here here giddypickle.