to be enraged by hormone/partner/manager combination?

[Ryuk]

Sorry, this turned into a bit of a ranty essay. Guess I'm still a bit angry.. :S

My partner and I both work at the same place, on the same shift, which involves getting up very early (half five most days, 6.15 saturdays) to go push brooms around in a fairly dusty smelly environment. Since lately I'm tired, nausious, cranky, and everything smells awful, this has been less pleasant than ever, but I've been coping.

This morning, partner and I both slept through alarm by about 15 minutes. I then spent a few more minutes in bed hating the world and being in pain from cramps, then took some time to eat cereal even though I didn't want to, as I knew hunger would just make hormones, cramps and nausea worse. Partner complained from the off, and then sulked the remainder of the way to work, as apparently I was making us 'even more late'. (I don't see how I could have reasonably not eaten, or eaten any quicker, but apparently either would have been preferable.)

So by the time we got in I was very wound up, defensive, angry, and still feeling nausious and hormonal. Was greeted by manager who asked what time we were supposed to be in, we clarified (were half an hour late, although rationally this wasn't a problem as it's easy enough to make the time up by staying later), and he replied in what I thought was an excessively a snarky tone "you're late", the obviousness and unecesariness of which made me even more angry. So I continued walking past, very quickly, and snapped "Pregnant! Ill!" over my shoulder. Partner stuck around to apologise on my behalf, then came and complained some more.

I do know that partner is also tired and worried about our job security, and I know mnager has to worry about staff turning up, so they both have their own reasons to be stressed, and they probably can't understand just how sick and upset I actually felt this morning... and I'm actually kind of worried about how extremely enraged I was at them. Has anyone else found themselves really angry at 'irrational' stimuli? Was it irrational to be that angry?

You were late. Pregnancy doesn't give you a sudden no-questions-asked right to flexi-time. Can't see that the manager was in the wrong.

Agree with widow.

You were late, and YABU.

Also, your partner was right to be annoyed.

You slept in by 15 minutes, yet were 30 minutes late due to you having a sit down breakfast.

You should have taken something to eat on your way to work.

And staying later might not be as easy as you think, maybe the manager has something he/she would like to do but needs for you to be gone first. You've just delayed that by 30 minutes. Annoying.

YANBU, anyone can over sleep, so I think you should just have apologised for being late. If one of my staff snapped 'pregnant, ill' at me, after turning up half an hour late, I'd have them in for a strong word! I'd expect people to call in if they were going to be a bit late, and then I would not have a problem.

'Pregnant' in itself is not really a good excuse, 'ill' however is.

To be honest the manager would have the right to take it further, you were late and you were rude to him when you shouted over your shoulder and walked away, being pregnant doesnt equate to ill, and it certainly doesnt give you rights to be rude.

I know for a fact the manager had no good reason to worry about the timing.

We didn't have anything in the house I could take with. Not eating makes me dizzy and three hours of physical work would have then been impossible (or possibly resulted in puking on work floor).

Still, should probably also add that after a brief while to cool off, I apologised to manager for being snappy, and he apologised as well, and said he didn't know I was pregnant (on the one hand we have a few, and he wasn't the one I told... I'd just assumed that once I'd informed 'management' they'd all be informed rather than having to let them know individually?)

Was just surprised at how quickly I went from irritable to really angry. Was wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

If anyone else gas experienced what? Being annoyed at yourself then getting angry? Of course.

You do not 'know for a fact', unless of course you know every detail of the managers day. Maybe he/she was waiting to do something once you'd gone. You cannot possibly know that.

You had nothing to eat on the way to work? What did you eat? You had no bread, no biscuits, no crisps, fruit, yoghurts, cheese, nothing at all?

I'm sorry I just think you are being ridiculous. You were late for work. It's your own fault. You're angry at yourself.

Without wanting to sound like a competitive pregnant person you are very lucky you have a job that you can rock up late to because you overslept, then needed a few more mins in bed, and then decided to still sit down for breakfast. I would have severe disciplinary actions against me were I to leave a whole class of teenagers to fend for themselves while I sorted myself out. Just got signed off at 34 wks though so can relax a bit.

On the irrational stimuli thing, yes I have had that. I was fuming at the nice ladies in Lakeland the other day because there was a missing seal on our little compost bin. (Only internally, I didn't erupt!)

DSM, you seem like quite a strange person.

"If anyone else gas experienced what? Being annoyed at yourself then getting angry?" - I wasn't annoyed at myself, I was annoyed at partner/manager/hormones, as per title. The first for complaining instead of going on without me, the second for making an obvious statement in a snarky way (admittedly, like I said, this was irrational) and the latter for making me angry at the world for existing. Repeat of question in original post: "Has anyone else found themselves really angry at 'irrational' stimuli?"

"You do not 'know for a fact', unless of course you know every detail of the managers day. Maybe he/she was waiting to do something once you'd gone. You cannot possibly know that. " - Actually I can. Some people do in fact know how the jobs of others on their floor work, and how different people's jobs can interact with each other.

"You had no bread, no biscuits, no crisps, fruit, yoghurts, cheese, nothing at all?" - lol. None of the above except for bread, which = greater puke risk than cereal, and cheese, which = walking down the street while eating a block of cheese? huh?

I probably did put this in the wrong section. I was more interested in 'has anyone else been experiencing angry hormones on crap days' than wanting conformation that angry hormones are unreasonable.

MrsC2010, you do raise a good point.

It's hilarious that you think you know the managers life. You sound very self-righteous, perhaps he had a personal call to make at a certain time, which he was planning for after you left, and then was delayed 30 minutes because you were late.

Obviously I don't know, this is speculation. But neither do you.

And I don't see the problem with eating cheese on the way to work? I often have a babybel as a snack. Didn't realise it was weird. But then you do think I'm strange..

Sorry. But if one of my employees slept in, and then turned up even later because they'd chosen to have a sit down breakfast, then gave me cheek when I questioned their lateness, they'd be facing a disciplinary.

If your own actions are making you physically angry then I think you need to take action. Perhaps you shouldn't be working if it's causing you this much stress?

You are pregnant, and in the early stages by the sound of it, and I remember how awful that makes one feel. However, it's not an excuse for bad behaviour unless you want to shoot your career down in flames.

You mention that your DP complained you made him late "instead of going on without you". Did you tell him to go ahead? If you did, then YANBU for being pissed at him.

Re your manager, you were late, you knew you were late. You should have apologised from the outset, then he wouldn't have been "sarky" with you. However, I suspect that because you were pissed off with DH you took it out on your manager.

Hormones can make you crazy, you were probably having a bad day.

"It's hilarious that you think you know the managers life. You sound very self-righteous, perhaps he had a personal call to make at a certain time, which he was planning for after you left, and then was delayed 30 minutes because you were late. Obviously I don't know, this is speculation. But neither do you." - Actually now I'm kind of impressed that you're pushing the point. (Sorry if that sounds sarcastic, it's actually not meant to be!)

To be completely honest, again, I really do know. We bump into each other now and then during my shift, but I'm certainly not in the same place as him the entire time, so it's not like I'm standing in front of him stopping him from phoning people. and nothing happens in the place I do operate that can't happen with me there, up until about an hour after my leaving. Hence the gap in which I can make up lost time. It's a normal procedure, it's done by other people and nobody usually has a problem with it because it's not a practical issue. Honestly, I know how the place works, I'm not just deluded or pretending to.

Not sure how you think he knew I'd sat down to eat. I'd only just walked in, and he's not telepathic.

You're probably right, I probably shouldn't be working. Don't think I have that option.

duchesse, I don't have a career, I have a trained-monkey cleaning and maintenance job.

maxpower, I did tell him to. He just stuck around and moaned.

However I do feel immensely better now that I've had a nap.

I'd have stayed in bed and got dh to tell them I was off sick

I thnk you need to think how you are going to cope with your physical job while being pregnant , how long will you be able to continue working those hours and doing that physical exhertion?

some days are just shit aren't they?
Hope you are feeling better tomorrow

Okay... You're coming across as very self-important, o don't care how much you insist that you know the managers life, you absolutely definitely cannot know if he had a personal issue to attend to which was affected by your lateness.

And you obviously did affect him to some extent, otherwise he wouldn't have been bothered by your lateness.

You were late. You shouldn't have made it worse by having a sit down breakfast. Then you got angry, but as it was your own fault I presume that you are actually angry with yourself, though you may not realise it.

Just want you to realise that there is no point bring angry, with your manager or dp.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow

FFS, why are you so obsessed with me sitting down to eat? What part of 'I don't want to make the job impossible by dizzyness and puking' don't you understand? What part of 'I wasn't angry at being late, I was angry at the manager's tone/stating the obvious (and also, again, I recognise this was an overreaction, so also don't see why you're mentioning it in the first place)' isn't clear either? I've already spelled out that I know the manager's job. If he has life issues that his job is affecting then I sympathise, but because I know his job (honestly, truly) I know I can safely say that my job activities are not capable of being in the way of any of his activities, job or life or otherwise. Thanks for hoping I have a better day tomorrow though.

compo and Downdog, also thank you.

Also not sure how claiming to know about how work stuff works, is supposed to be self important. shrug never mind, don't care.

Because it was totally inappropriate!

If you wake up late, than you RUSH to get ready, arriving as close to your agreed start time as you can. Not increase delays by sitting down to eat!

You have an agreed time and place of work. It's irresponsible not to get there on time. Being pregnant has nothing to do with it, if your pregnancy is affecting your work then stop working.

I just think you seem very self indulgent and a little selfish. And bizarre that you think you know the managers life? My cleaners would have no idea what I had planned for the day. Odd that you think you do.

Anyway - I'm trying to convince you not to be angry at anyone, and I think it's a losing battle as you seem to think you are owed something...

I'm not angry at him anymore. And I don't think I'm owed anything.

If anything, still going in when I felt like hell, and making sure I didn't puke on the floor, was quite considerate, imo.

And I'm not your cleaner. Sorry.

Geeze if being a little late was a sackable offence I'd never be able to keep a job. As it is I have been treasured by all my employers despite the occasional sloppy time keeping - but I know I have been lucky, and in my industry there is my late, and most other peoples late which makes my late not late at all IYSWIM.

It's so not unreasonable to be late in this instance - unless you have one of those jobs where the world would end or other people would be severly put out by it - and OP says this isn't the case at all. And even then it's not like OP is late all the time. Lighten up time keeping facists! Half an hour is not the end of the world.

OP was distressed by being late, but if you have to eat you have to eat. And manager recepriocated the apology. And being pregnant isn't being ill but FFS you can feel like shit some mornings! OP if you snap, don't be surpised if they snap back, but you sorted it.

Again, somedays are just not good. Fact!

Sorry Ryuk but I think that YABU.

If you have overslept you should not have stopped for breakfast. I would expect a bollocking if I was late.

I'm pg so I do understand the sickness, nausea, dizziness that accompanies not eating but sometimes it's just tough.

Of course you not being there impacts on your manager. Have you never had to wait for someone who is late?? It is annoying! So your manager is bound to be pissed off waiting for 2 of his staff to turn up.

As you say at the end of your OP it is irrational on your part. I found that extreme rage was also a symptom of early pregnancy and there have been a few times I have had to apologise to DP for completely over-reacting and making a nob of myself.