Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my SiL to eff off.

59 replies

textpest · 18/06/2010 18:02

My fiance sister is pregnant.........and a pain the the backside.

She has previouslty demanded money for things for her baby (not due till November), money for outfits for our wedding (not till next August) and is generally a pain about her pg and uses it as an excuse to do nothing/let people do things for her.

We are off to DP parents tomorrow for a family party and she is insisting I don't drink and collect her from/drop her at home because she is pregnant and her partner 'deserves a break from the baby stress and to have a drink'. My partner has a broken foot so isn't driving and pil will be too busy with their massive family to fetch her, I don't mand collecting her but don't see why she can't taxi home or walk pil say pregnancy is trouble free. AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
Lonnie · 18/06/2010 18:05

YANBU but dont tell her to eff off just say

Sure I will pick you up and take you over thats no trouble but you can arrange for a taxi to get home as I do plan on having a drink.

kando · 18/06/2010 18:09

Exactly Lonnie. What a cheek she's got!!

TheThingUpstairs · 18/06/2010 18:10

Agree, Lonnie's approach is good.

Numberfour · 18/06/2010 18:15

what lonnie and the rest say!

Altinkum · 18/06/2010 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
textpest · 18/06/2010 18:17

I have tried that approach, unfortunately it did not work. She claims (and she may be tellin the truth) that "walking makes me tired and the doctor has told me not to get tired" - she doesn't work and has no problem walking to gym/shops etc. It is only a mile or so and she has happily let me and DP walk that far.

She also claims her partner (unemployed) is "tired from the baby stress" and "deserves a night off". She doesn't have the £5 for a taxi but can afford MAC make up and new bags - she won't accept the money from me or DP as "he (her DP) doesn't like to take charity" (except via benefits which he has claimed for 8 years)

OP posts:
singsinthebath · 18/06/2010 18:19

A mile is nothing. 20 mins walk max even allowing for the pregnancy shuffle. Be assertive.

motherlovebone · 18/06/2010 18:21

tell her/them to fuck off

RunawayWife · 18/06/2010 18:21

YANBU tell her you will pick them up but they have to make their own way home.
Cheeky cow. (her not you)

FakePlasticTrees · 18/06/2010 18:21

oh well, tell her no. Start putting your foot down now - she's going to be far more needy the closer it gets...

CarGirl · 18/06/2010 18:23

I would just say, sorry I'm having a drink you will have to make alternative arrangements.

biddysmama · 18/06/2010 18:23

i'm 31(+3, the +is getting important now lol) weeks pg i am supposed to rest but have an 8 year old ds who needs taking to school (half hour each way) and picking up while pushing my 15 month old 25lb dd in her buggy up and down hills in lovely lancashire.... yanbu!

singsinthebath · 18/06/2010 18:25

But biddysmama, the OP doesn't mention hills, DCs in pushchairs and the SIL is not heavily pg.

herbietea · 18/06/2010 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IngridFletcher · 18/06/2010 18:26

She is in for a bloody shock when the baby is actually born!

hobbgoblin · 18/06/2010 18:26

tell her she and partner are obv not cut out for parenthood if pg is causing this much grief

yiu need to be v. cutting i think

LoveBeing34 · 18/06/2010 18:31

Generally I am in favour of telling sil to fuck off so yanbu

rewardgirl · 18/06/2010 18:31

Cheeky mare. I agree with herbietea - if she's too tired to walk a mile (a MILE for the love of god!!), then she's too tired to par-tay.
If she can't afford a taxi, get her to tell her lazy dp to get a bloomin job. Tired with the baby stress - ha! He's going to be hospitalised when the baby actually arrives!

Seriously though - you need to nip this in the bud otherwise she's REALLY going to take the p*ss as things progress.

biddysmama · 18/06/2010 18:33

lol it was an example to show that expecting her to walk/ sort herself out was not unreasonable...

FabIsGettingFit · 18/06/2010 18:33

YABU to tell her to fuck off but you don't have to be her personal taxi service. She sounds very precious and delicate.

MrsC2010 · 18/06/2010 18:51

Wow, even at 34 wks and having just been signed off work I would walk 1 mile! Tell her having a baby is her choice, and that doesn't make it/her arrangements your responsibility.

I know you won't say that, as I wouldn't, but just tell her no...sorry. You don't have to give excuses. If she pushes, then just tell her that you had planned on having a drink and that as such she needs to make her own plans.

Miggsie · 18/06/2010 18:56

Has she asked you to have the baby for her yet, I exppect she'll be too tired.

If she is experiencing pregnancy tiredness then she should give the party a miss.
Tell her to lie down for the next 8 months that will take the strain off her feet and you can avoid taking her anywhere.

Tell her partner to put himself out and take her, it will be good practise for him when the baby arrives, in having to look after someone even when you'd rather watch TV.

dinkystinky · 18/06/2010 18:57

Abit of exercise would probably give her more energy - tell her you're going to be drinking and going straight to the party from somewhere else so unfortunately she'll have to get the bus there and back if tired.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 18/06/2010 18:59

direct her over here and we'll tell her to fuck off. I'm feeling quite belligerent tonight

prettyfly1 · 18/06/2010 19:12

Me too - I need to tell someone off - send her to us and we will enlighten her on the joys of becoming a parent for you Failign that tell her to f off.