towards my neighbour's children

[IHeartKittensAndWine]

Every time I see upstairs neighbour she says something about our having a backgarden. This morning she came right out with it in front of her DCs (both school age, I'm guessing infants) and actually asked if they could have access to it over the summer holidays. I said know, and she was very put out. Am I being unreasonable given
a)There is a lovely and very child friendly park a minute's walk away
b) I divide my week between working from home and commuting, so they'd either be disturbing me or I'd have to leave them with a set of keys
c) The only access to the backgarden is via our bedroom.
d) It's my garden - and where I live in London you pay over to have one - and I don't want to share it.

All I said to her was "I'm very sorry, I don't think it's appropriate" but am happy to give these reasons if she asks again. Just curious as to whether people think AIBU or what they'd do in the same situation.

(BTW TTC on hold for the moment and don't have DCs yet so not even like they'd be looking out enviously over other children playing in it, unless I have my DNs over)

No YANBU. It would be a nightmare having other people's children in your garden. You are perfectly justified in all your reasoning. Well done for saying no, and stick to your guns.

Cheeky cow, you garden your choice who you INVITE into it. And with a mother so brass necked im sure her little oiks would be just charming.

yanbu

Most definitely YANBU. THere might even be an insurance issue here - if they have key/access/forget to lock up etc etc.

Erm yanbu imo.

V rude of her to ask.

My neighbours garden is bigger than mine, perhaps I should ask if my dcs can play there instead.

YANBU and you don't need to give any list of reasons - it's your garden, end of. The trouble with sharing arrangements is that someone will always try to guilt you into giving more advantage. You have handled it well by the sounds of it.

Hadn't thought about the insurance issue, thanks amothers place.

In truth - tho all my reasons are true - I just have a horror of other people in my space, particularly children in a room which has sex toys in the drawers and very often dirty knickers on the floor is private and not very tidy

YANBU at all.

It's your garden, not her's Very rude of her to even ask.

I didn't like MY OWN kids in our bedroom, let alone anyone elses!!!

is she joking! YANBU

YANBU

YADNBU! Waht a cheeky cow! Apart from all the other reasons why you should say No, if they hurt themselves at all you could be liable.

thanks all - have to say I'm relieved but a bit surprised by unanimous response - was expecting at least someone to say I should out of community spirit and that it isn't nice to keep dirty knickers on the floor

YANBU! It's great to have a garden when you have kids but if you haven't and there's a park nearby they don't need to miss out. If it was accessed by a communal gate I'd understand her asking a little more but she must appreciate you don't want people traipsing through your home, especially if you're out!

I think you should say "fine, no problem" and then ask whether you can nip over to hers from time to time, have a bath at her house and use her toiletries. Seems fair.

Or, seeing as her kitchen is bigger than mine ask if I can borrow it when I have dinner parties (about once a week, usually involves drunk adults and my father swearing)

well you're right, it's not very nice to leave dirty knickers on the floor, but I'm guessing they're your knickers and it's your floor!

YANBU saying no. Don't have to justify it to her, just say no.

Or suggest she might like to rent it from you at a hourly rate? That should change her mind quick enough!

YANBU, you'd end up feeding them and giving them drinks.

YANBU - the cheek of some people!!

yanbu

who wants someone else's kids in their bedroom

yuk

I think your response was very good and YANBU.

It might have been different if you and she were good friends and it come up naturally in conversation - but it didn't.

You don't need to justify yourself - even though all your reasons are perfectly valid.

YANBU. Totally unreasonable of her to ask!

YANBU. I live in London and, while I may look down enviously at the garden belonging to the couple in the basement flat, there's no way I would ask if my DD could play there.

However, this has not stopped DD and her friend (aged 8) yesterday afternoon ringing their bell and inviting themselves in. I looked out my living room window to see the girls merrily playing ball with the neighbour's 2 year old daughter who was hysterical with glee that the big girls had come to play with her.

YABU to leave crusty knickers on the floor...ew!

But YADNBU re the neighbours rugrats - would she be there to supervise them all the time? What if they skidded on a pair of your knickers and had an accident - liability issue?

Get a big scary dog. That'll send em off down the park.