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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to burn next doors 7 year olds football?

66 replies

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 17/06/2010 13:58

ok so I know I ABU but AIBU to not bother giving it back?

It must fly over the fence at about 100mph every bloody 5 mins and yesterday it missed my 4 month old laying in the shade by inches. I screamed "I burning that bloody football" and throw it in the shed.

His mum has just asked me if I have found his ball yet. "Ball? What ball is that then??" I said.

What annoyed me most was when she said "you have baby boys your soon have lots of this sort of thing". ummmmmmm no as I won't buy them a hard leather one and secondly they can play football at the park, not in a narrow garden.

I did consider putting it in a bag with a note saying please be really careful but I would rather burn it.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Tortington · 17/06/2010 14:02

god your a meanie sourpuss.

kids play football - et over it - seriously victor meldrew - you aren't giving a 7 year old his ball back?

scurryfunge · 17/06/2010 14:02

You know you are BU,give the child his ball back and don't be such a grump.

Tortington · 17/06/2010 14:03

have to say - if you are getting worked up about this you may wish to visit whether your actions are disproportionate to the action of a 7 year old.

at that point it might be worth investigating some outside activity for you to focus on ( i am being serious not stroppy) visit a local educational establishment or join and become active in a charity.

Wordsonascreen · 17/06/2010 14:05

Would a football burn?

Original poster
tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 17/06/2010 14:06

I'm tempted to find out!

OP posts:
cherrymama · 17/06/2010 14:06

yanbu, their mum shouls speak to them, scary if it nearly hit your baby.

SE13Mummy · 17/06/2010 14:07

I think I'd be inclined to buy them a sponge one and drop that in with a "I've bought this for your boys so if it hits my baby it won't hurt him so much.... and please tell the boys that I shall return the ball once a day, when I clear up the garden in the evening".

As children we weren't allowed to play with leather footballs in the garden because they were always going over. We were also not allowed to play any ball games in the garden on a Sunday (Mum's theory being that everyone was entitled to one day a week when they weren't likely to be hit by flying footballs) and knew better than to ask if we could have our ball back.

My DD knows that anything that goes over the fence is lost for ever - the neighbour is lovely but the garden is not; full of brambles, dog poo and all sorts. She's 5 but is aware that once it's over the fence it will either never be found again in amongst the brambles(6ft high) or so covered in dog poo that we wouldn't want it back!

zandy · 17/06/2010 14:07

Put it in a bag with a note. Go on, you know you want to.

SE13Mummy · 17/06/2010 14:08

I should have said, I would return the leather ball but with a sponge alternative.

helyg · 17/06/2010 14:13

YABU.

Wait until your son is 7!

Instead of shouting at the boy next door have you tried explaining that you are worried it might hit your baby? It might get a better response.

Lauries · 17/06/2010 14:16

I'd burn it...
Or puncture it and give it back...

Thing is, if its going over repeatedly in the day and if its a hard leather one that has already narrowly missed injuring your LO that is not fair and I think really irresponsible and disrespectful of the parent.

I'm sure the 7 year old would much rather play in a park anyway! I know i'd rather have the space to run around.

I think you need to explain to this mother that you want to get along and you understand that boys will be boys but the ball is leather and hard. You are worried about your LO getting hurt by it as has narrowly missed your LO already and it is not fair to be constantly throwing it over your fence a zillion times a day! Explain that if the ball goes over again you won't be giving it back.

Original poster
tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 17/06/2010 14:17

SE13Mummy - totally agree
And helyg I didn't shout at the boy but I did scream out loud "OMG" etc.
They never appologise or ask to come and get their ball - it is really annoying me now, the safety more than anything.

But, I really don't know how best to handle this one. His mother was quite rude.

OP posts:
weetabixwhiner · 17/06/2010 14:18

What a spoil sport you are, what about the noise levels from a trampoline? Unless, it affects everyday life, let's face it the weather isn't great all the time, live and let live. My old neighbour is a meanie, I'm sure he kills our balls, we never see them again, but the other old couple on the other side are lovely and always throws them back. After all, we want our kids to be healthy not couch pots.[blink]

jpg · 17/06/2010 14:28

You lot are quick to pounce, what if it were your pfb who was nearly hit by a child's leather football? I would imagine that most of you would be at least slightly peeved by it

OP YANBU

Original poster
tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 17/06/2010 14:32

Thanks jpg and its DS2.....I do worry about my DS1 2:6 years but he is being a real pain at the moment so somewhat less!!

OP posts:
QSincognitoErgoSum · 17/06/2010 14:32

To be honest, when boys are playing football, they are not getting up to other mischief. Give the ball back, you dont want to encourage that the neighbourhood kids are bored.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 17/06/2010 14:36

Get a higher fence

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 17/06/2010 14:36

Get a higher fence

Original poster
tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 17/06/2010 14:36

Its not really like that here QSincognitoErgoSum bit of a sleepy village.

Would you give it back with a note, or give it back and have a word??

OP posts:
FranSanDisco · 17/06/2010 14:38

Come to an agreement on how many times in a day you are prepared to return it. I tell ds he can ask twice in an evening and then he must do something else. 12 yo next door loses millions of cricket balls into our garden but its the expectation that I am just in the house to return his balls that annoys me. He does get them back though.

gorionine · 17/06/2010 14:40

I think YABU to just get rid of the ball. Much beter for future relationship with your neighbours to have a little chat with the parents (WRT your own LO sometimes having a rest on the other side of the fence) or a nice word with the child (could you please try to be a bit more gentle with your ball please?).

IME children do not usually get the ball over the fence on purpose and they can be quite distraught when it happens, especially if the balls never come back.

KurriKurri · 17/06/2010 14:40

As a general principle, you are far more likely to achieve the result you want if you are polite. So I would go round with the ball, explain it is coming over rather a lot and nearly hit your baby.

You could ask if the children could be a bit more careful, or suggest you have some signal which means your baby is out in the garden, and maybe they will hold off footballing until he goes inside.

Not nice to swear at 7year olds however annoying they may be.

gorionine · 17/06/2010 14:40

I think YABU to just get rid of the ball. Much beter for future relationship with your neighbours to have a little chat with the parents (WRT your own LO sometimes having a rest on the other side of the fence) or a nice word with the child (could you please try to be a bit more gentle with your ball please?).

IME children do not usually get the ball over the fence on purpose and they can be quite distraught when it happens, especially if the balls never come back.

prettybird · 17/06/2010 14:40

When ds' ball goes into next door's garden, we make him go and ask if he can get it back. That way, if there were a problem, the neighbour would have the opportunity to make the point - and ds is also having to take responsibility for his carelessness. (There never isaproblem: on the one side is his old child minder who has kids who play football themsleves and on the other, the nighborus don't use that part of the garden and we have now agreed with them that ds can go and get it back if necessary (best avoided, as full of brambles).

I'd suggest going round with the ball, ringing the doorbell and then saying you wanted to speak to parent and child: explain that the ball nearly hit the baby and that you don't want it coming over the fence again - and that next time you might not brign it round straght away as you want to be able to enjoy the garden in peace.

Is the ball a size 4 (ie kiddies size) one? If it's nto, suggest that they try getting a smaller, lighter one that the 5 year old migt find easier to control.

Is it feasible for your neighbour to put up some high nets to "catch" the ball?

Despite your best efforts, your ds will play football in your back garden - and he almost definitely will on occasion, kick it over the fence/wall.

He's 9 now and now old enough to go to the park on his own - but still likes to spend time kicking (or throwing - he also plays rugby) the ball around in our (admittedly large) garden. He doesn't want to go to the park on his own and anyway, if you've got 10 minutes before supper, a quick runabout is possible - but not a trip to the park. Anything that encourages them to paly outside rather than sit in front of a computer or the TV is to be encouraged!

gorionine · 17/06/2010 14:41

Sorry, connection trouble, I was not sure I had posted!