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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hide the ticket

35 replies

NoseyNooNoo · 17/06/2010 13:07

My husband mentioned a few days ago that he was going to his friend Peter's house to watch football on Sunday afternoon/evening. I have since found a ticket for a club event (5pm-11pm) that he booked a month ago and I am pretty sure this would be something suggested by Peter so obviously they are going to the club even and not watching TV at home.

I am tempted to hide said ticket. I have texted DH to ask where he will be exactly on Sunday. If he lies again, should I hide the ticket - after all, he isn't apparently going there!

OP posts:

Iklboo · 17/06/2010 13:09

I wouldn't hide it I'd say 'oh that's funny cos I found a ticket for X event. Did you forget you'd booked it?'

Harimo · 17/06/2010 13:09

Why would he not tell you? And why would he lie about it? If he's going to watch football, does it matter WHERE he watches it?

And how did you find the ticket? If you weren't snooping, then just tell him you know.

Altinkum · 17/06/2010 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 17/06/2010 13:10

why would he hide that from you?

Vallhala · 17/06/2010 13:10

Oh yes.

If he wants it, he can ask for if you've seen it. It'll be interesting to discover whether he does.

SloanyPony · 17/06/2010 13:11

I would hide it if I were you, and then if he appeared to be looking for something, having said he's just going to Peter's, then you have a problem, dont you.

treas · 17/06/2010 13:11

Try being mature and speak to him about it.

Hiding the ticket is just petty and childish and brings you down to your dh's level of deceit.

Vallhala · 17/06/2010 13:11

Sorry, "he can ask if you've seen it" is what I meant of course.

redskyatnight · 17/06/2010 13:12

If this had happened to me I would assume that DH had forgotten about the club or had decided not to go ...

Why would you not ask him straight out?

SloanyPony · 17/06/2010 13:12

Having said that are you sure you didn't cause this disfunctional behaviour in the first place? Do you trust your DH? If not, why not? Do you get annoyed with him going to things like this? Would he want you to go to if only you would/could? Does he feel he can't because you will get annoyed, therefore he goes anyway?

StealthPolarBear · 17/06/2010 13:12

if i was being petty i'd sasy the ticket can't be his, he's going to peter's, so it must be rubbish, shred it

StealthPolarBear · 17/06/2010 13:13

or sell it

lorelilee · 17/06/2010 13:16

Is the club near Peter's house? Perhaps he doesn't think it's a big deal and that's why he didn't mention it.

OrmRenewed · 17/06/2010 13:18

Why would he do that though? Seems odd. I'd not hide it I'd just ask him.

PlumBumMum · 17/06/2010 13:21

What do you mean my club? Night club, football club etc...

Depending on what kind of club it is would depend on my reaction!

Portofino · 17/06/2010 13:22

I'd hide it too....

TenaciousMe · 17/06/2010 13:23

is it an actual entrance ticket, that he has paid for, or is it one of those club night flyer thingies that he could have picked up anywhere?

YunoYurbubson · 17/06/2010 13:23

If it were my husband I would assume he'd forgotten about the ticket and I'd tell him I'd found it so he could organise his plans.

The fact that your instinct is that he's going to a club and lying about it, and you want to hide it suggests you already have issues.

Original poster

NoseyNooNoo · 17/06/2010 13:35

It's a club as in music club. The ticket is a print off from an online booking. It was in a file on the study desk. DH has been looking at my savings because we're buying a house and there was one of my bank print outs which I went to put away and then the ticket was immediately underneath. I wasn't snooping.

It's the sort of event I wouldn't mind going to but can't because of 2 toddlers. I never say he can't go to anything.

He has been caught lying before and I thought we were over that. It's only been in the last year that I've realised how secretive he is and how compartmentalised his life is. I thought we were on an upward curve but obviously not.

OP posts:

zipzap · 17/06/2010 14:27

Could you ask your dh to get Peter to come and watch football at your house and look after the kids at the same time as a friend of yours has asked you to go to a club event [same one as his ticket] and after all, it's only football, doesn't matter where he watches it, loads of it on in the next few weeks etc etc.

Whereas you don't get to go out very often and would love to go to club with friend. Pick up the phone to ring Peter and say that you'll ring him and explain and your sure that he won't mind, can always go back to Peter's another day

Even if you don't want to go - would be fun to watch him try to explain why exactly he can't swap his arrangements, especially if you have already owrked out lots of counter arguments to his expected reasons why it is not possible!

PlumBumMum · 17/06/2010 15:33

love zipzaps idea I would go with that

diamondsandtiaras · 17/06/2010 16:57

LOVE zipzaps idea too............do that!

LittleMissHissyFit · 17/06/2010 17:45

zipzap, you read my mind!!

Portofino · 18/06/2010 08:39

Have you DONE anything yet OP?

Original poster

NoseyNooNoo · 18/06/2010 10:54

I asked him exactly where he'd be on Sunday. He said he'd be with Peter. I asked whether this was watching footie with Peter at his house or going to a club. He said he was going to meet Peter later because he'd rather spend the day with us (creep - he knew he'd been caught out) so I then asked was that at Peter's or a club and he finally named the club which he reckoned was actually a bar - I'm not so interested in the semantics of it.

I just wish that I didn't have to question him to get to the truth. He is so secretive; his life is so compartmentalised. It's such a shame.

I liked Zipzap's idea though - perhaps I'll try that next time - because there will be a next time.

OP posts:

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