To hide the ticket

[NoseyNooNoo]

My husband mentioned a few days ago that he was going to his friend Peter's house to watch football on Sunday afternoon/evening. I have since found a ticket for a club event (5pm-11pm) that he booked a month ago and I am pretty sure this would be something suggested by Peter so obviously they are going to the club even and not watching TV at home.

I am tempted to hide said ticket. I have texted DH to ask where he will be exactly on Sunday. If he lies again, should I hide the ticket - after all, he isn't apparently going there!

At that point I would have ripped UP the ticket!

for you!

you need a baby sitter and use the ticket yourself,
or get him to baby sit.

oh yes. zipzap's idea, is good.

It seems a silly thing to lie about though.
I'd be worried about why he lied, more than where he was actually going.
Some people just get into the habit of lying for the sake of it or maybe enjoy the thrill of doing something and geting one over on you.
I would be having a very strong word with him if I were you

You need to address this overall problem, never mind one night where he's watching football in a club rather than at a house.

TBH it sounds like a fairly harmless thing for him to want to do, so I wonder what's going on underneath?
Are you angry because he is spending money the household can't spare on a club ticket?
Has his past lying been because he is having sex outside your nominally exclusive relationship - or indeed has his past lying been about the money he spends?
Either of these are good reasons for you being suspicious and snooping.
However, if he's never actually been doing anything unacceptable when he doesn't tell you his plans, is it at all possible that you are nosy and controlling and he's trying to retain a measure of privacy?

Yes, I know the overall problem needs to be addressed but how do you address lying when he's just going to lie?

His previous lying: I discovered something quite by chance last year. It may have meant extramrital sex or it may have meant thinking about it. However, he lied to my face about it and it was shocking to see him lie in front of me when I knew far more of the truth than he has ever realised. I then remembered a very similar scenario in 2004 which he'd given a similar explanantion for - I believed him at the time because I had no reason to doubt him.

Since then I have lost quite a bit of respect for him and I realise that he lies obsessively, often about really silly things, and now I know his lying face it's so obvious.

I had always been really laissez-faire about him going out without me and I have really tried to not pin him down to his exact whereabouts since the lying episode and yet the only reason I know (or think I know) where he'll be this Sunday is because I had to ask him 4 times exactly where he'd be and the first 3 answers were only true through omission.

So SolidBrass, I really don't think I am controlling, just really sad that my husband and father to my children doesn't respect me enough to tell the truth.

Nosey (sorry I am addressing you by your posting name not abusing you) - fair enough but when I posted that, I didn't know your back story which is why I asked if the previous lying was about shagging around etc.
FWIW you have my sympathy as I once dated a liar and it was awful. He was the delusional type of liar in that I honestly think he believed his own bullshit. Is yours one of these?

ooh OP, clearly there is a big element of distrust here. Instead of playing games, why not just come out with it and ask him what's going on?

Obviously this is an ongoing issue, and you're not sure how to deal with it. Having confronted him before (I assume you have confronted him about SOME of his lying) it is still going on. You now have to decide how you're going to deal with it:

a) ignore it, hope for better from now on and just keep going like you are;
b) Bring up how destructive this behaviour is and how it makes you feel - if you think this will help (and obviously if you haven't done it before);
c) Give him a taste of his own medicine, start making plans for yourself, and not give him the full details of what is going on and either keep him in the dark or arrange for him to find out bits of what you are doing at some point.

All of these can backfire on you, you have to decide whather you're willing to deal with the consequences.

Personally I would do C, but then I can be petty and vindictive when deliberately hurt by someone who'se supposed to actually give a damn about me.