AIBU??? Offering two girls a lift to school?

[Manda25]

I stopped on the way to school this morning to buy something from a shop (i sent my eldest son into the shop). I watched two girls from my sons school at the bus stop - after 10 minutes they decided to stop waiting for the bus and to walk to school. As they were walking past my car my son arrived back and so i asked the girls if they wanted a lift (they are year 6 - although i dont know them particularly - my son yr 2 knows them and they know my son. We arrive in the playground early every day so they see me a lot)

They accepted the lift - but when they got out my older son freaked out a bit saying that i should know better then to give them a lift !! stranger danger and all that!!
Have we really got to the point where we cant give someone a lift ???

Am i BU or my son??

No, you shouldn't have given them a lift. It would only take for one of them to have concocted some imaginative story and you'd be finding yourself in big trouble. You know what kids are like sometimes.

I would only give kids a lift if I knew them and their parents really well and we were on regular friendly terms.

It's a sad state of affairs, but you have to always protect yourself, esp. these days.

It was a kind act by you, OP, but just be aware that lots of more sceptical people than I may judge your motives.

This is what I would do if you're worrying about it; nip round to the girl's parents houses and explain. Just say "I saw the girls walking from the bus stop so thought nothing of offering them a lift but DS was a bit irked by me doing it. Sorry if you feel I did the wrong thing" or something to that effect.

Personally, I wouldn't want my DS getting into a car with someone he didn't know well but I wouldn't freak out over it.

Well, I wouldnt wany mmy child to accept the lift tbh BUT I dont think you were unreasonable in offering it, at all.

Oh and I mean I wouldnt want my child to accept it because I would only want them accpeting lifts from people they know veyr well, not implying anything weird about you!

I have been furious when my DD accepted a lift (from a mum we knew) but without my permission. I had to give her a very severe talking to. I was also surprised the mum didn't phone me to tell me. (Another Mum occassionally gave her lifts but got a blanket okay for lifts.)

YANBU, you're not a stranger. And there was no danger.

YANBU. You were being nice.

Some people say the girls should have said no, to be on the safe side, since you're not someone they know well.

But actually I think as long as they recognised you and knew you as a mother at the school, and your kids were with you so you were clearly on the way to school, I think it's fine.

Ok, it's always a bit risky accepting a lift even if you know the person reasonably well, but there's a risk in taking the bus as well...

I don't think you're being unreasonable, I think you're being kind, BUT there's no way I'd have done it because, as others have said, I'd be too worried about what others may think or that the girls would talk about it in a way that made others suspicious. It's a terrible state of affairs that so many people (including me) feel they cannot indulge in spreading kindness and helping others. Also what if you had an accident whilst they were in the car?
So YANBU but kinder and braver than me!

Good grief - YANBU!

Assuming school is a fair distance away (hence taking the bus) surely they'd be safer travelling with a parent from their school, seeing as the bus didn't arrive?

I suppose you could leave yourself open to something - but quite what I have no idea.

I would thank you, had you done the same for my ds.

If they recognised you, and see you regularly it's not really 'stranger danger' surely?

My DD comes home from school on the bus. A mum from school, who is known to her and me gave her a lift home, and bad mum as I am, I didn't think anything wrong of it- was grateful that they didn't leave her hanging around, when they were coming this way anyway.

DD knows to never get in a strangers' car, and these girls probably do too.

YANBU

YANBU, and as for the, what if they concocted a story brigade. You had your children with you as backup. I probably wouldn't offer if I was alone in the car, due to what other people think , but certainly in your circumstance I would.

mummytime you were furious with your daughter for accepting a lift from someone you knew?

why the hell not?

Hmmmm I am not sure. YANBU to offer the lift, but I think on the whole I would prefer DS to not get into cars with people without me knowing about it.

I don't want to think that way, but it was drilled into us as kids that you don't get into cars with strangers and as they don't really know you that well I think you would come under "stranger" for this.

On the other hand, I have offered lifts to kids I know myself through my work with youth groups, but these are mostly young teens and it has been in the evening.

I think its fine as your son was with you... picking two girls up as a lone person is not on but two friends of your son when he's in the car..?! And everyone at the school knows you? And Im assuming you took a direct route in plain day light so if any allegations were made then there would be alsorts of video footage and witnesses to back you up.

You did nought wrong.

I go with foureleven...but I live in a small town and we all know each other. Plus I work at the school so I'm known to all the parents anway.

YANBU

Phew ! I have actually been worrying about this all day !! I don't know their parents (they walk to and from school alone so i don't see them).

However, I am a SW so am used to having allegations made against me (or at least the idea of allegations being made against me.) - so can hopefully do quick risk assessments on the spot...so i wasnt so worried about that side of things - and as you say i had two other kids in the car with me.
I dunno - it was more that the parents don't know me i guess.

Blimey!

Your son knows them, they recognise you from school - what is the problem?

Of course yanbu.

YAMBU. Your son knew them, they obviously recognised you, what's the world coming to if you can't give them a lift?

There is a school bus which goes from outside our infant school down to the local junior school (about 2 miles). One morning last winter it turned up but the door was frozen shut and it had to leave again. Several of the mums from the infant school who were driving that way just filled their cars with kids and drove them down - no problem. I took two boys I recognised but didn't know well, but I wasn't going to leave them in the frost for goodness knows how long.

YANBU! It was a nice thing to do, I might be wary of giving them a lift in the car on my own but your dcs were there so you shouldn't worry. Its a sad sign of the times that people would worry about doing someone a favour. The parents should be grateful!

YADNBU - I'd hate to be so suspicious and paranoid about people that I'd even consider not giving a lift to young people I knew by sight in case they made allegations!

It must be a really stressful way to live - always expecting the worst from people. What sort of society have we become? I despair.

YANBU these girls were in your sons school and he knew the girls. It was very kind of you but i would not have done it unless I know their parents. In my day it used to be commonplace but that was about 25-30 years ago, sad though it is. Your intentions were good but you have to be very careful.

Oh just read you are a SW so are in a position of trust anyway. YANBU imo it was very kind.

mummytime Why were you angry with your DD from accepting a lift from someone she knew. A stranger fair enough, but a known face?