Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be totally exasperated by my non talking toddler

44 replies

mummysgoingmad · 15/06/2010 19:37

My ds is 18 months,we have no words besides mama yet. It feels like this stage of development is taking ages to start and i'm getting a bit frustrated.

Ds doesn't point to anything, he's just started handing me things but then crys and walks away when i take it. Its seems like he moans constantly and it wears me down.

Is there anything i can do to spur on his speech a bit?

OP posts:
Questa · 15/06/2010 19:49

Talk to him, read to him and don't sweat it. He'll be talking soon enough. My DD is 2 this month and has only just moved on from her 3 word repoirtoire. Ahh I can't spell that..

matumble · 15/06/2010 19:51

just keep talking to him, and be prepared for it to take a lot longer yet. do you have any concerns with his hearing? really watch how he behaves. my dd was past 2 before she said a word i didnt think her hearing was a problem till i really watched her and it turned out she had glue ear. she is still behind for her age but we cant shut her up now!

marriednotdead · 15/06/2010 19:52

Just keep talking to him!
It is tedious when you don't get much feedback but it pays off eventually. Read books, point things out and sooner or later he will join in.
My ds had very few words until he was almost 3. He understood a lot of what we said to him in that he could follow simple instructions e.g fetch your shoes. We then had around 6 months of a language we have yet to figure- possibly a combination of Russian and Pingu before he began speaking in complete sentences. We now know his speech delay is connected to him being on the autistic spectrum, but sometimes it's just 'one of those things'.

Littlefish · 15/06/2010 19:56

What does your ds do when he wants something that he can't reach? Does he point then?

Irons · 15/06/2010 19:58

I know a lot of people worry about speech, but don't, just let it happen in it's own time. 18 months is still young. Does he babble and do you read to him?

Reading and talking to him a lot will help. Repeating words over and over can also help and playing with words.

My DD (11 months) has learnt 4 words so far by play and repitition. Mama and Dada are the 2 obvious ones. She has learnt "hewo" (hello) by us playing with her toy mobile and also with everyone saying hello to her all the time and we tell her to say hello when she meets other people (of course I don't expect her to actually say it but we tell her to anyway). The other word is "up" and she learnt that by us playing in the garden and me repeating to her "where are the birdies?....UP". and when we go up the stairs I say "UP".

Sorry for the longwinded explanation but I hope that helps. Make it fun!

Original poster
mummysgoingmad · 15/06/2010 20:04

We do have an appointment to see the ent specialist on the 29/6. He has had quite a few ear infections however his hearing was perfect when they performed a hearing test.

I've tried reading to him, he's really not interested to him so i sing nursery rhymes to him, I try to play with him and he'd much rather play on his own, he gets up and walks away from me. I'm at a loss as to what to do next.

The constant moaning is making me really tired all the time. I seem to sigh all day.

OP posts:
Nolda · 15/06/2010 20:14

There is a lovely book called 'Baby Talk' by Dr Sally Ward, a language therapist. The book recommends a 30 minute a day programme of one to one with your child with no other audio distractions such as music or telly on and suggests ways to play and talk with your child to optimise their language development. I'm not saying you have cause to worry about your ds, just responding to your question about is there anything you can do to spur on his speech. I bought it when my DD was 18mths as all his little friends seemed to be chattering away and she just said "flower". She soon caught up whether due to this book or not I don't know but I enjoyed using it (and I think she did too).

MrsMellowdrummer · 15/06/2010 20:17

You could try using some signs and gestures with him. You need to be consistent, and persevere longer than you might think before he will sign back, but it sounds as if he is at the right stage for it. As well as giving him an alternative way to express himself, it will also help him to focus on what you are saying to him, and help his inner language develop. This might be particularly helpful if he is having bouts of glue ear - which can lead to fluctuating hearing difficulties until it resolves.

Look for a local class, or watch Something Special for inspiration!

lazylula · 15/06/2010 20:24

Ds1 was the same, didn't talk, never pointed to things, now at 4 he doesn't stop talking! At 2 his speech was still very delayed but by 2 and a half he was coming on in leaps and bounds! I realised though, that I didn't 'make' him talk! If he pointed to something I would just get it ect. I made a concious effort to vocalise his wishes and encourage him, like oh do you want the ball, what do you want, this ball or this one ect.

BialystockandBloom · 15/06/2010 20:29

Are you worried by this, or just exasperated? If you actually do think he is having problems communicating at a level for his age (doesn't matter if it's verbal), or engaging with you perhaps worth talking to HV?

PortiaNovmerriment · 15/06/2010 20:37

The no speech thing doesn't worry me- both of mine were very slow to speak. But the no pointing can flag up a developmental delay (in my second child's case, autism). I am not saying this to alarm you, and I see that lazylula had this with her son and he was fine, but it's worth being aware of when you talk to the health visitor.

Original poster
mummysgoingmad · 15/06/2010 20:51

I think i will take him to the hv or doc on wed. It is concerning me a bit. I honestly dont know if its his ears or not, sometimes he holds on to them when other children come up and speak to him or if we're on the train and the alarms goes off for the door.

Thanks for the pointers with the books nolda!

OP posts:
cat88 · 15/06/2010 20:53

Hi my DD2 did this at 18 months. We turned it into a game - can you get your shoes? point to your nose? etc and she could understand what we were saying so we were not unduly worried. At 20 months she has lots of words and huge streams of sounds we are still trying to decipher as well as the odd pointing and jumping up and down if we cannot get what she wants quick enough ...Its amazing the difference really quickly.

Horton · 15/06/2010 21:16

Can he follow an instruction? Maybe not giving you something, as that seems to upset him, but how about 'let's both hug your teddy' or 'let's both touch our toes/nose/tummy' or similar. And 'let's both' gives you an opportunity to demonstrate what the words mean, too. At this age, not speaking is entirely normal - it's receptive language that you need to look at. If he doesn't understand what you say to him, then that's a cause for concern. But if he does then he is, as far as I understand it, on the normal range of development. If he can express in some way that he would like to have it if you offer him a treat (raisins, banana, biscuit, whatever he likes) then he's doing okay, in my entirely unscientific opinion.

jennieflower · 15/06/2010 21:30

DS was also the same at that age. I used to spend ages passing him things and trying to get him to say "ta" but he wasn't having any of it. He's now 21 months old and honestly doesn't stop talking all day long. He never said "ta" but skipped straight on to "Thank you mummy", he can string 4 or 5 words together now, and my personal favorite "Luff you mummy"

I'm not too sure about where he's at developmentally because he's my second so I'm just trying to enjoy him rather than fretting about what he does or doesn't do. I wasted far too much time doing this with DD!

EricNorthmansmistress · 15/06/2010 21:50

My DS didn't speak until 18mo+. Now at 21mo he has a good few words. Chill!!!!!

Original poster
mummysgoingmad · 15/06/2010 22:17

Thanks for all the encouraging replys. Maybe it is me and i'm rushing him. When i say give mummy cuddles he comes up and throws his arms around me, and when i say clappa handys he attempts to clap his hands (although he usually misses) when i say going in the pram he'l follow me to his room where the buggys kept, so he does repond to certain things its just the speech we're having real difficulty with.

OP posts:
tethersend · 15/06/2010 22:28

My DD is 18mo and can talk loads, but she cannot walk and shuffles everywhere on her arse.

Nobody ever asks if she talks, just "Is she walking?" followed by a concerned face (I'm sure you know the one )

Point is, swings and roundabouts and they'll get there in the end

moaningminniewhingesagain · 15/06/2010 22:35

My almost 18mo doesn't talk either, except for Doh (no), which he says regardless of whether he means yes or no

But, he points, makes lots of noises, understands lots (yesterday DD said she needed a tissue and he pointed at the box) and bizarrely, he kind of sings. Uh Uh Uh Uh to the tune of Baa Baa Black Sheep or Old Macdonald. But no Mama, Dada, or anything else.

I'm going to wait a couple more months, he probably just can't get a word in with his chatty big sister. Like your DS though, I suspect he is a bit frustrated at times that he can't express himself.

thatsnotmymonster · 15/06/2010 22:35

my dc2 only had one word at 19mths 'ta'!!
she is now nearly 4 and doesn't stop talking. She had loads of words by 2.5yrs.

My other were much quicker- it doesn't matter how much you chat to them some children just pick it up before others- all develop at different rates!

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 15/06/2010 22:37

Try Makaton! It's sign language specially catered for young babies and children. I use it with my DS 21mths and it's great for bridging the gap until they learn to speak. As soon as they learn to say the word they tend to drop the sign. There is plenty of info online about it and there might be courses run in your local area. Think Mr Tumble!

TrappedinSuburbia · 15/06/2010 22:39

I knew this would be a boy before I clicked into it.
My ds was really really slow with the speech as well, I wouldn't sweat it.
He's 5 now and honestly he never bloody stops ...........!

justaboutupright · 15/06/2010 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Eskarina · 15/06/2010 23:12

Have a look at the I CAN charity - www.ican.org.uk They have lots of resources to support parents in supporting their children with speech. It is probably nothing to worry about, and some of the materials on their website do show just how broad the spectrum of speech is when children are very little. (I don't work for them, but am an Early Years teacher and have found their stuff, esp DVDs v. useful.)

BramblyHedge · 15/06/2010 23:12

My ds is 22m and has about 10 words - mama, kick, no, no, no, no, yeah yeah yeah, bear, book. He has words for things which are totally wrong (goo for drink, ga ga for train, man for all people except me, beep beep for car). And that is it - can't think of any other words he has actually. My elder ds never stops talking so maybe that is why. Anyway, I think 18m is young to be too worried. I thought about taking him to the speech therapy service but a friend did the same with her ds and was just reassured that it would come in time so not sure I will bother.