to be totally exasperated by my non talking toddler

[mummysgoingmad]

My ds is 18 months,we have no words besides mama yet. It feels like this stage of development is taking ages to start and i'm getting a bit frustrated.

Ds doesn't point to anything, he's just started handing me things but then crys and walks away when i take it. Its seems like he moans constantly and it wears me down.

Is there anything i can do to spur on his speech a bit?

I'm not sure how to word this properly, and I'm sure that it's most likely that there's nothing "wrong" with your DS, but when you mentioned him holding his hands over his ears in certain circumstances, it rang an alarm bell with me.

My DS used to do this, he also had delayed speech, and he didn't point. He has autism. Talk to your health visitor about your concerns. It's probably nothing, but if there is something, early intervention makes a huge difference.

As long as you are not concerned that there are any underlying issues then leave him be. DD didn't talk for ages and then literally overnight at 23 months all these words came tumbling out. She'd barely said mama before then.

Hiya,
same boat here, 18mo ds, no words at all, not even mama/dada. Weirdly though he did say these at around 10 months or so, also used to do a couple of animal noises which he no longer will do.
The only thing he says is Ga! somethimes this is preceded by a funny kind of groan as if he's desperate to spit out a word ( a bit like the straining noise you'd make on the loo, sorry TMI) so it goes kinda nnnnnnnnnnnnn....Ga!
He does point and seems to understand some things we say to him.
I have days when I worry about him and then other days when I think he's still wee, there's plenty time.
I wish we all had a crystal ball sometimes, would save time and energy spent worrying about these milestones!

My DD1 had about 4 words until she was about 3: mama, dada, baba and duck. She was due to have speech therapy and then one day I asked her to do something and her reply was "no actually I'd rather not do that". The speech seemed to flow after that by the age of 6 she was known as "chatty Cathy" (also the name of an annoying talking doll).

The health visitor told me some children are perfectionists and they practice speaking before you get to hear it.

Have only read the op, but my first response was perhaps to try baby signing? There are classes all over the country and we've found it to be invaluable with DD2, especially in relieving both ours and her frustrations when it comes to communicating...

Is your household bilingual? I ask this because all the bilingual children I know started speaking late, and were kind of shy about speaking for a long time. I feel they are processing the fundamentals of two languages internally and are unsure where to start. Of course they catch up eventually.

Another thing I have noticed is the kids who have a lot of TV in their life develop language slower, and speak poorly, with lazy pronunciation, lisps, mumbling. I think this is the result of a lack of practice, because in a TV free environment they are constantly babbling. This factor I suppose will probably be relevant to your DS after he begins speaking in earnest.

It's best to rule out deafness, autism etc as other posters have said. He's probably fine I presume.

Try not to worry about it! My DS is 21m and is only just starting to say more than Mama. The weird thing is that he's speaking in sentences and longer words so I totally agree with what a previous person said about some kids not wanting to speak until they're sure they got it right.

My mum said my brother was the same way and when he was 2.5 he came out with a full sentence and then didn't shut up!

My DS didn't say a word til he was 20 months...not even mama or dada. I was well and truly worried, but once he started, he caught right up to his peer group by the time he was 2. Some children just take a while...mine was all about physical stuff...he did every major physical milestone miles ahead, so his brain wasn't working on the verbal, I guess.

I remember at my dds 2 year check being worried about her speech. She wasn't saying hardly anything and the HV told me as long as she understands what i say to her (such as go and get the ball, followed by her going to get it) i shouldn't worry.

She was well into being 2 before she spoke properly, then she all of a sudden just started talking.

She is now 3 and a half and i am thinking about inventing a child mute button

Give it another 6 months and you'll be begging him to shut up..........trust me.

Not pointing is a bit of a red flag and does need to be checked out in conjunction with the lack of communication.

YABU to be "totally exasperated" and "frustrated" with him. He is still only little and may need your help.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, maybe you have tried to word your thread title and OP in an amusing way, I've done that myself before and have been slated for it so I do understand!

Let us know how the little chap gets on

Are there any other things that you're worried about if you check his development against milestones?

The speech could be hearing/glue ear or just a small delay as other posters have said but I am wondering if there's anything else given what you've said about him moaning, crying when he gives you something and even missing his hands when he claps - could all be something or nothing but well worth having him checked out.

If it does turn out to be just a slight delay in getting speech (I hope so) then you've had some good advice here.

Some other things that we do with our DS (19 months) that you might find useful to try with your DS:

• We look at picture books (he's got several for numbers, words etc) together every morning and ask him to point to what he sees or he'll say the words he knows, he seems to have learnt lots by doing this and he loves it.

• I always tell him what I'm doing/giving him throughout the day so he's quickly learnt the words for things he like as such as milk, book, raisins, bath, and pizza! It might sound obvious to do this but DH will generally just hand DS a cup and say nothing other than maybe remind him to say thank you!

• I encourage him to say more so 'Apple please' rather than just 'please' or just 'banana'.

• I make up silly games involving words, e.g. I'll point to our drinks and say 'Mummy's cup of tea' 'DS's water/milk', he loves this and will always now try to say it himself if we both have a drink. Or do 'funny' movements like scratching my chin and saying 'chin' or gently 'slapping' my/his cheek and saying 'cheek' as opposed to just pointing when saying the word.

• Sometimes really simple, repetitive books can grab their attention, e.g. we had one from the library recently (sorry taken it back so can't check author) which had only one word 'banana' on each page. DS quickly got the idea and thought it was great fun to 'read' it himself!

Good luck. Please let us know how you get on.

It is worth getting checked out.

I know everyone will want to say to you
' gosh don't worry, he will speak when ready - mine didn't speak until she was 37 and now she is a right old chatterbox - and then their is Einstein of course...'

But some children do have a speech dealy and for those children getting it spotted early is the best hope of getting some support and dealing with it early.
The lack of pointing and the hands overthe ears suggestthat it may be worth getting a GP to have a look.

My sense is that your frustration is misplaced concern. I was frustrated with DS2 because I was worried about him. But that worrying stopped me getting him help as soon as I could have and I will always regret that.
Get it checked.
The GP will probably say - 'don't worry - tis nothing' andthen you can relax too

justaboutupright I've just looked up the chat test on here most of the questions in section a i answered yes (barely) and in section b i answered no.

I'm going to the ent specialist on the 29/6 should i speak to them about it or should i go and see my GP?

I'm feeling really guilty, how could i not of saw these signs sooner? I feel like i'm to blame if that makes sense

Is there a speech and language drop-in session anywhere near you? Our Sure Start centre had one and they are usually quite good at noting things which might give cause for concern. They can then refer to a Paed if need be.

It's very normal to feel guilty but try to focus on what you are doing for your son now, he's still so young and the signs that something may be amiss can be very subtle indeed at this age.

All the best

ds was also a late talker, momma, dadda came when he was 18 months. had him checked by the GP just in case. hearing was checked, everything fine. GP said it is quite normal for boy who are physically advanced to talk late. also ds is truly bilingual which also can delay speech.