to cry over our immersion heater and the ineptness or our landlord (hereafter known as Nobber)?

[ShowOfHands]

We have had no hot water since Thursday. We live in rented accommodation. The landlord ummed and aahed until Sunday at which point he turned up with a bloke who I though was called Pete. Pete'll Fix It to give him his full title. Nobber and Pete'll Fix It spent a few hours upstairs banging about and spewing dust and plaster and limescale and water all over dd's bedroom before sodding off and promising to come back tomorrow (Monday).

Pete came back alone, spent several hours banging and muttering about corroded elements and with an almighty bang about 6pm last night, part of the kitchen ceiling fell in and water spewed all over the floor.

Pete'll Fix It came down and apologised profusely, explaining that he's 'just a gardener' after all. Oh ho ho ho says I, what a jolly jape, a gardener. No, imagine my mirth, Pete'll Fix It is Pete The Gardener. Or Have A Go Pete. He's not fussy.

He's been back again today. More banging, more muttering. He's given up. Pete Only A Gardener has gone home. I bear him no ill will. He seems very upset that he couldn't help.

Nobber's gone to Portugal btw. Feature hole in the ceiling, no hot water, non-functioning immersion heater.

I'd laugh, but I'm too busy crying.

It's only the immersion heater wires that it's affecting atm. I've put towels round the fridge/freezer to stop the water getting to them. Nearest light socket is about 3 feet from where the water's coming through.

I don't want a legal dispute with the ll. I don't have the money. No credit card for hotel. My parets are abroad so we could stay at theirs but I can't leave the house and our stuff like this.

This doesn't sound like a 5-minute sort out. So I think you need to stay at your parents. Your house is currently uninhabitable so secure the stuff that matters and pack what you need while away.

Also, in the absence of the Nobber getting the situation sorted properly, does your dh not have some sort of Police welfare service he could get assistance from?

I can't get in touch with dh. And I can't leave the house with water running down the walls. How will the plumber get in if/when he ever comes? And I don't drive so can't go anywhere right now anyway.

I'm getting very cross now. Not at you obv, at our inept ll.

Is it fixed? Are you okay?
The plumber can bill your landlord, you are protecting his property so he can't grouse.
I have had a rotten landlord myself so sending hugs.

I don't have any helpful advice, but wanted to say what an utter utter dickweed the ll is for leaving you in this situation

I know you don't want a legal dispute and you don't want to give nobber a hard time or withhold rent or whatnot.

But he has screwed up royally. He doesn't realise how bad it is, probably because you're trying to be nice, but this is a HUGE problem and it's going to get worse for him the longer it's left.

1foot is right, the cost will be covered by landlord insurance if he has it. Well, unless the insurance company takes issue with him using Pete The Bumbling Gardener (I'm an insurance lawyer, and I'd be telling your LL to sod off with his expanded claim given that it was his own idiocy, but heyho).

1foot is right, call your environmental health people, explain that it's urgent, you're worried about the electrical circuit and you're effectively trapped in the house with a 3 year old.

And if there's a friend who can pop over for some moral support, now would be a good time to ring them.

Oh SOH you poor thing! What a complete nobber your LL is for getting Pete Many Hats to play plumbers!

Any word from J yet? Has he been stern?

No gingerbread Noooooooooo

Hope that professional plumber doesnt leave you waiting too long.

Bog hugs xx

LOL at bog hogs AM

Sorry SOH you can always sail pop round here if you like. Can offer ginger nuts (snigger) and dry towels. Not much practical help though sorry.

For what it is worth you could get a local plumber to bill the LL direct. We had to do this in my Grandmas rented place. We had a plumber do the work and send the bill to the LL direct. Just make sure they are happy to do this first.

that'll teach me to not check my spelling!

SOH do as Charley suggested.

ALso in all seriousness do you want me to come and pick you and the tank up. Boys would love to have you all stay? As would I.

Oh Jammy. Don't. I'm already in tears.

Just been to the nearest neighbour's and cried all over her. She has filled me with tea and given me bottles of water, a camping stove and gas for the time being (we have no water when the electricity's off as our water is pumped up through a spring under the farm, no electricity, no pump).

Phoned dh who has phoned the landlord. Plumber will be here at 5pm. Apparently. I'm not holding my breath.

If it's not done this evening Jam, I might take you up on that kind offer.

And bog hugs to you too AM.

Sending you many hugs and wishes that it gets sorted by an actual plumber type person (and possibly electrician and builder by noe ). I'd send gingerbread but the dcs ate them all this morning.

keeping my fingers crossed that a real plumber turns up. check certificates and keep making photos. make sure you air the place so that it dries up as quickly as possible to avoid mold. maybe get nobber to hire a drier from a dyi store.
(we had a leaking roof last year, someone stole the lead lining...we had a wet loft and wet plaster that took ages to dry even with windows open and heating on)

He's here. He's about 210. Has attached a hose to it, sat down, gone to sleep.

Eh?

Am I dreaming?

Sounds like he'd get on well with my stove repair guy

Maybe he is not sleeping but meditating for divine inspiration?

WTF!

Blow a whistle in his ear and ask to see his certificates.

If he hasnt got them, report him.

I actually cant believe what Im reading god only knows what your feeling.

As an aside, I hope you have seen the gas safety cert if there is gas in the property?

Ah SOH, sounds like you've had a really shit day! Am keeping everything crossed that it all gets sorted xx

No gas thank God.

He's awake. Mumbled something about steam baths. Told dd he doesn't like children. Is now tinkering. He is definitely a plumber. Or was one once. During the war maybe.

Oh fgs, has just asked me how to turn on the immersion heater.

well electricity is a new fangled invention, can't blame him for not knowing.

Fingers crossed.

He has just informed me that the gardener wired it up so that in another 12hrs max it would have exploded. Apparently the gardener bypassed the thermostat so it would have got hotter and hotter and hotter. In dd's bedroom. I'm disgusted. And shaking.

and for you.

Deep breaths. You have someone to fix it now and it is ok.

OMG that is terrible.

Cant your report the gardener to someone? Trading Standards or somesuch??

Oh god. The explosion. Shudders at what potentially could have happened.

Not to be funny but there are so many people who "dont want to get legal" unfortunately its the only language these idiots understand.

The use of the gardener for electrical work should be reported to both HSE and niceic.com/ You can also check here whether contractors are accredited before they get their tools out of their bag.

Absolutely staggered for you.

You should request a certificate for the work as well, it should have NICIEC on it. If he cant or wont give you a copy, hes a fake.

shakes head

Love 1foot x